The future of D\s

[Marquis]

I wonder how D/s will be in future generations, or how it might change within my own.

I see an overall trend in Western society for men becoming less and less masculine and dominant. Women are overtaking men in college enrollment and I suspect they will soon be making as much as men. It will probably take a while, but I think one day we'll see women hold equal positions of power as well.

How will this affect the politics of D/s?

More and more people are getting access to information that used to be hard to get ahold of before the internet. Is this going to cause the portion of the population that identifies themselves along D/s lines to grow?

Could D/s get watered down to a point where it would be unrecognizable to most of us who are into it now?

Or will it become an even more extreme counterculture?

My guess is both.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I see an overall trend in Western society for men becoming less and less masculine and dominant.

That's only in the coastal urban areas. BDSM remains dominant in the heartland.

 

[laurel-marie]

I wonder how D/s will be in future generations, or how it might change within my own.

I see an overall trend in Western society for men becoming less and less masculine and dominant. Women are overtaking men in college enrollment and I suspect they will soon be making as much as men. It will probably take a while, but I think one day we'll see women hold equal positions of power as well.

Are women overtaking because men are becoming less doninant? Or are the men becoming less dominant because women are overtaking?

Its real late so chances are my thinking is messed up, but here it goes anyway. I think western society has painted a picture of the dominant man as some cold hard dictator type that runs his house and all that is his with an iron fist, those under him are abused both mentally and/or physically. There is no love, no compasion in the dominant man. He is self centered in his thinking.
The shows on T.V. have no sence of hierarcy in the family setting. Think of a sitcom with a family theme...the dad is ALWAYS shown as some bumbiing idiot. The mom/woman is the dominant figure. Dad is just trying to get by. Kids are viewing this idea from early on, so it is no wonder that society is leaning more towards less male dominance and masculinity. Go against the norms of social thinking and you are an outcast...this is hard for alot of young men and women to handle when they are trying to make sense of what they feel verses what society is telling them. So..in my opinion, they tend to go with the flow, either perminately or until they feel confident to do what they feel is right for them and screw society.

I would answer the other questions, but I couldn't get what was in my head into words. Not even sure what I wrote makes sense

 

[rosco rathbone]

I would answer the other questions, but I couldn't get what was in my head into words. Not even sure what I wrote makes sense

It makes sense to me laurel marie.

 

[laurel-marie]

It makes sense to me laurel marie.

That could be a cause for worry then...for you and me

 

[TaintedB]

All all domestic sitcoms these days like that (dad bumbler/idiot)? I don't watch TV so I don't know what's out there.

In past decades at least there was a mix.

Honeymooners - Male was the clown, but with a dominant edge. Domestic violence threats but not follow-thrus.

I Love Lucy - Female clown, of the screeching variety. She even got spanked.

Burns and Allen Show - Female clown. She was brilliant at it, too.

All in the Family - Domineering clown. A lot of that show's humor came from "old style vs. new style" relationship, though.

Leave it To Beaver - Child clowns while adults protrayed as the "sane," straight men. I doubt we'll ever see people that straight on tv again. What rigid, prescribed roles those two parents depicted!

The family sitcoms that showed men in the best light were the single dad ones, like Courtship of Eddie's Father and Family Affair.

 

[laughingbadger]

More women ARE going to college, true, but that doesn't mean they are getting the same jobs at equal rates of pay.

And while it is true that men are shown on TV as bumblers and helpless to so much as take a spoonful of cough syrup without the assistance of a female, it is also true that some men REVEL in this role. I don't doubt there are some who deliberately play stupid because it seems to be expected of them.

If women were getting to be more and more powerful, then I believe more women would not permit this type of male to morph himself into a North American Lummox.

 

[WriterDom]

I don't think a woman's educational level is a factor. Or what position she holds. The biggest problem bdsm has is in my opinion is an image one due to the 1 to 3 million women, depending on what study you read, who are in abusive relationships.

Hollywood has done some damage. Secretary was kind of neat. One of the few movies where the sub was alive at the end of the movie with all her body parts and smiling.

And there is a lot of social engineering going on by the networks.

I have seen in the past few years is a lot of younger people with an interest. Really young, like 18 and looking for a Dom.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

I see BDSM going more mainstream, and then perhaps accepted like homosexuality somewhere down the line.


As for the effeme boys you mentioned
I see the problem stemming from the people who decided that "competition for children is bad, so lets not keep score", "Johnny needs to be drugged because he's uncontrollable" crowd.

Boy's aren't allowed to be boys anymore, they can't play football, because it's too violent, can't keep score at soccer (or football as the rest of the world calls it) because that promotes winners and losers, playing army with toy guns is bad because it promotes school shootings...etc

Some people bought into the "It takes a village" bullshit, and all it's bringing us are emasculated boys, parents who don't or won't take responsibility for their kids, and Ritalin for everyone.

 

[Miss Melody]

I read your thought-provoking questions with great interest last night, Marquis, but was unable to form an intelligent answer. Perhaps because I looked at your avatar to long. Quite distracting.

I think that the key to acceptance of BDSM in the future will lie in the ability of society to understand the true meaning consensual sex. Conservatives running around today have dialed back the clock on sexual freedom over the past 20 years, starting their attack on gay men because of AIDS (like they invented it), and have vilified all but married male-female-for procreation only activity. (While they run around screwing the rest of us over in other ways.)

Television shows now mention kink quite often but most of the time it's associated with a crime (CSI, Law and Order, and the now-infamous Desparate Housewives character Maisy Gibbons, the neighborhood prostitute) and they end up persecuting the whole lifestyle, not the asshole criminal that killed the person. The rest of the mentions are in sit-coms or in fetish club scenes and are portrayed as taboo, freakish or just plain silly. When Hollywood stops associating BDSM with crime all the damn time, maybe we'll see progress. The next step is to stop seeing all of us as swingers having non-stop orgies and cheating on spouses. Like I said before, they need to understand the definition of "consentual."

As for the demasculinisation of society, I really don't know how this is going to affect the lifestyle; this issue is what made me hesitate to post a reply while I sat here thinking about it and oggling your picture. ;-)

Mistress Melody

 

[Marquis]

I read your thought-provoking questions with great interest last night, Marquis, but was unable to form an intelligent answer. Perhaps because I looked at your avatar to long. Quite distracting.

I think that the key to acceptance of BDSM in the future will lie in the ability of society to understand the true meaning consensual sex. Conservatives running around today have dialed back the clock on sexual freedom over the past 20 years, starting their attack on gay men because of AIDS (like they invented it), and have vilified all but married male-female-for procreation only activity. (While they run around screwing the rest of us over in other ways.)

Television shows now mention kink quite often but most of the time it's associated with a crime (CSI, Law and Order, and the now-infamous Desparate Housewives character Maisy Gibbons, the neighborhood prostitute) and they end up persecuting the whole lifestyle, not the asshole criminal that killed the person. The rest of the mentions are in sit-coms or in fetish club scenes and are portrayed as taboo, freakish or just plain silly. When Hollywood stops associating BDSM with crime all the damn time, maybe we'll see progress. The next step is to stop seeing all of us as swingers having non-stop orgies and cheating on spouses. Like I said before, they need to understand the definition of "consentual."

As for the demasculinisation of society, I really don't know how this is going to affect the lifestyle; this issue is what made me hesitate to post a reply while I sat here thinking about it and oggling your picture. ;-)

Mistress Melody

Thanks for the compliments. I don't watch much TV, but I've run into some of the imagery you're talking about.

 

[Netzach]

That's only in the coastal urban areas. BDSM remains dominant in the heartland.

Especially while I have some say about it. Oh, wait, chalk one less up for the patriarchy.

What if the future of BDSM is like, less reactionary when it comes to feminism? You might actually get things like equal numbers of femdoms and male subs hanging out at BDSM events.

Less-grounded boys of the 70's with no rigid ideas about masculinity? Girls who kick ass and somehow need a firm guiding hand and to let go in the bedroom? Bring em all on. More for me.

 

[Seduce]

I see an overall trend in Western society for men becoming less and less masculine and dominant. Women are overtaking men in college enrollment and I suspect they will soon be making as much as men. It will probably take a while, but I think one day we'll see women hold equal positions of power as well.

Here in Germany one can observe many German men getting married to Turkish or Polish women..... they say those women make much better wives than modern German girls...... and they are more feminine.
One can always move to Eastern world....... in Croatia for example women are still fighting quite badly for some basic rights although none would admit it to the rest of the world.

I dont see anything bad in women getting equal positions of power....... there will always be some of them not wanting to use it..... I dont care much for any power myself but it is nice to know one can have it if one wanted to.

And I dont think it will affect any way of living..... it may just give ordinary women more confidence and make them less frustrated and bitchy (at least some of them).

 

[rosco rathbone]

Especially while I have some say about it. Oh, wait, chalk one less up for the patriarchy.

What if the future of BDSM is like, less reactionary when it comes to feminism? You might actually get things like equal numbers of femdoms and male subs hanging out at BDSM events.

Less-grounded boys of the 70's with no rigid ideas about masculinity? Girls who kick ass and somehow need a firm guiding hand and to let go in the bedroom? Bring em all on. More for me.

You are always the monkey wrench in my theories about how bdsm=the future of conservative sex.

 

[Little Bird]

I think there are two things that are changing:

We get used to strong women and dominance finds much less aceptance.

At one side it means, that the thought of a domeneering woman becomes less foreign to most but on the other side dominance has no place in the society.

I think D/s will get mostly accepted but rearly spoken of in publicy. It's okay what you do behind your doors, bur we don't want to know of it. Bondage and spanking will become quite common but I think there are not that many peopleout ther, who would really want to take a closer look at D/s.

 

[Tuna1]

I wonder how D/s will be in future generations, or how it might change within my own.

I see an overall trend in Western society for men becoming less and less masculine and dominant. Women are overtaking men in college enrollment and I suspect they will soon be making as much as men. It will probably take a while, but I think one day we'll see women hold equal positions of power as well.

How will this affect the politics of D/s?

More and more people are getting access to information that used to be hard to get ahold of before the internet. Is this going to cause the portion of the population that identifies themselves along D/s lines to grow?

Could D/s get watered down to a point where it would be unrecognizable to most of us who are into it now?

Or will it become an even more extreme counterculture?

My guess is both.

All great questions Marquis.......I don't see it as women gaining more power and position within our culture. Some men and some women will always need to be dominated or dominate within any given relationship.

I see the breakdown of the family structure and the liberalization of the "West" as a factor in pushing the D's further underground. You can't say Boo to anybody today without someone taking offence and maybe calling the cops. Try spanking your child for misbehaving today.....Off to jail you go!

In my own relationship my slave/wife was being spanked for some reason that I can't remember now(this was a few years ago), The police knocked on the door(imagine my surprise). After a long talk and much explanation the police left. We thought the matter was resolved until a few weeks later I received a summons to appear in court. It took a lawyer for both of us, 4 trips before the judge and thousands of dollars to finally have the matter dropped. Try explaining to the judge in open court that your slave was getting punished for some infraction, and she liked it or would not have it any other way.

As it turned out, my bedroom window was open at the time of the spanking. A neighbor overheard and called the police. I make sure all windows are closed whenever we play now........

 

[Marquis]

All great questions Marquis.......I don't see it as women gaining more power and position within our culture. Some men and some women will always need to be dominated or dominate within any given relationship.

I see the breakdown of the family structure and the liberalization of the "West" as a factor in pushing the D's further underground. You can't say Boo to anybody today without someone taking offence and maybe calling the cops. Try spanking your child for misbehaving today.....Off to jail you go!

In my own relationship my slave/wife was being spanked for some reason that I can't remember now(this was a few years ago), The police knocked on the door(imagine my surprise). After a long talk and much explanation the police left. We thought the matter was resolved until a few weeks later I received a summons to appear in court. It took a lawyer for both of us, 4 trips before the judge and thousands of dollars to finally have the matter dropped. Try explaining to the judge in open court that your slave was getting punished for some infraction, and she liked it or would not have it any other way.

As it turned out, my bedroom window was open at the time of the spanking. A neighbor overheard and called the police. I make sure all windows are closed whenever we play now........

Wow, that's good advice for me too.

 

[moonieblue]

This is my first post ever, but an interesting one to start things off on.

I think in the next 20 years or so we are doing to see a BDSM revolution of sorts. I have a couple of ideas that support this season. First of all, the divorce rate in the States is out of control. Which means that more and more young girls are growing up without a dominate male in their life. That old addage of "wait until your father gets home" is becoming less relevent because there is no dad at home. Because of this, I think more will turn to the lifestyle because it gives them that was otherwise missing in their life- a strong male.

Secondly, we are living in a complete "girl power" age. The world is full of strong women that are the daughters of the bra burners from the 70's. There are more women in power positions than ever before (think the WNBA, Oprah, women CEO's ect). I am a great example of this. I work in a company that is completely dominated by women (in fact, there is not a SINGLE MALE that works there). Because I have to be so "dominate" in my work life, at the end of the day I cannot wait to get home back to my submissive one. One can only assume that I am not alone in this. I think there are more submissives because of this theory than one might think. Women are more careful and secretive about it because of the "power position" they hold at their company.

 

[MacDuff7]

I think that women are already enjoying a more powerful status than they've ever had...and the reaction to this goes both ways.

Almost every woman I've talked about sexuality with has eventually confided that they can't find any "real" men out there. These women are all well-educated, outwardly assertive etc etc...daughters of the revolution, you could say. However, they still have the kink. If anything it makes them *more* desperate to find a dominant partner.

Supply and demand at work!

 

[Seduce]

Almost every woman I've talked about sexuality with has eventually confided that they can't find any "real" men out there.

I hear that kind of stuff in chatrooms all the time........ and you know what happens if they find any of those real men? They nag at him and demand this and that till the man is totally fed up.
I met couple of women acting that way.

 

[Netzach]

This is my first post ever, but an interesting one to start things off on.

I think in the next 20 years or so we are doing to see a BDSM revolution of sorts. I have a couple of ideas that support this season. First of all, the divorce rate in the States is out of control. Which means that more and more young girls are growing up without a dominate male in their life. That old addage of "wait until your father gets home" is becoming less relevent because there is no dad at home. Because of this, I think more will turn to the lifestyle because it gives them that was otherwise missing in their life- a strong male.

Equal numbers of boys are not getting that either. A lot of men are under intense workplace and societal pressure and scrutiny and really want someone to take the reins when they get home.

Come to think of it, I grew up without a dad and I'm pretty damn Dominant, though I'm very into controlling men twice my age. That I definitely have no problems attributing to my longing for Daddy issues.

 

[Marquis]

Equal numbers of boys are not getting that either. A lot of men are under intense workplace and societal pressure and scrutiny and really want someone to take the reins when they get home.

Come to think of it, I grew up without a dad and I'm pretty damn Dominant, though I'm very into controlling men twice my age. That I definitely have no problems attributing to my longing for Daddy issues.

I think there are TONS of malesubs out there, TONS. Most in deep, deep denial because they hate the implications of it, but it's incredibly obvious to me. I'm 100% convinced that one of my best friends will be a hardcore sub one day.

He was fucking a very submissive girl in college and used to talk about how boring it was. And how much more he liked it when a girl would push him onto the bed and slap his ass and shit like that. I suggested he was a sub and he told me to shutup.

 

[Aeroil]

I think there are TONS of malesubs out there, TONS. Most in deep, deep denial because they hate the implications of it, but it's incredibly obvious to me. I'm 100% convinced that one of my best friends will be a hardcore sub one day.

He was fucking a very submissive girl in college and used to talk about how boring it was. And how much more he liked it when a girl would push him onto the bed and slap his ass and shit like that. I suggested he was a sub and he told me to shutup.

Well it sure sounds boring
*ducks reprisal from the sub girls*

 

[Netzach]

I wonder how D/s will be in future generations, or how it might change within my own.

I see an overall trend in Western society for men becoming less and less masculine and dominant.

Notice you equate these things.

While I may like my sub guys fey hairless and girly, I could have a pick of many more who are quite the opposite if I were more inclined that way.

If you ask me it's more a question of times being exciting. What's "masculine" is pretty up for grabs. I like what ghosst had to say about it, though, there's this kind of dulling and duimbing down going on -- though I'd say it affects boys and girls as well. Basically we keep our kids infants, we infantilize them in the interests of safety, we live in suburbs and ferry them from activity to activity and they don't take the risks of walking around the world, taking public transport, existing in a public space.

"Girl power" is kind of a hollow media stance, it doesn't really actually *empower* a lot of girls very much at all, it's all pink and confusing.

 

[Aeroil]

aaah, Netz just reminded me that I meant to respond to ghosst's post.

What you've been describing ghosst, I have seen absolutely none of, things are still competitive as ever where I live, our school just finished hosting an armwrestling competition, and we do stuff like that all the time. Perhaps it's an American idea, but I've never seen any of it where I live.