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The Fucking Pigeons Are Back!

superlittlegirl

superlittlegirl

Polymorphous Perverse
Joined
Apr 9, 2002
Posts
6,690
Goddamnit!

They are roosting on the A/C outside my window. They scrabble around with their horrible little birdy feet on the metal and make a ruckus. Plus, they are literally fucking pigeons. They make the most horrible and disgusting sex noises all night long. I just know that's what they're doing. I can tell.

I evicted them about a month ago. But those fuckers are building another nest, or something!

I despise them!
 
Go to a hardware store and tell them your problem, they should suggest a metal rod with lots of metal pins on it. If the pigeons get too close they get stuck. It's not poison and non fatal.
 
What Heavy said...make sure they don't have any eggs in there tho.

Back a few years ago there was a nest in a wreath on our garage door and the parents left the egg there a couple days before it hatched, I tried to take care of it, but it died. :(
 
What, Cibo, you don't like scrambled?

I'm not planning to actually DO anything about them... I just like to complain.

I like pigeons in general. They look pretty with their iridescent necks and black eyes. I like them at a distance, in an urban setting, though. I don't want to hear their most intimate goings-on.

They're actually pretty cool birds, in the proper context. I was in NYC a couple of weeks ago, and one tried to perch on my foot. I guess I looked friendly enough to it or something.
 
Pigeons are filthy. I could barely bring myself to walk around Trafalgar Square.
 
I'd try the broom again. Other solutions depend on wether you don't mind lessing the world's population of pigeons or not.
 
I like eggs as much as the next person, but it was pretty damn cool trying to take care of a newborn baby bird.
 
poonching pigeons

I guess they can get pretty annoying. I feel for you.
 
Last edited:
Cibo said:
I like eggs as much as the next person, but it was pretty damn cool trying to take care of a newborn baby bird.
Click to expand...

When I was 14 I carried around a quail egg in my bra for weeks, hoping to hatch it. Nothing ever happened, though. That's as maternal as I'm willing to get for birds. And I'm not planning to do it again.

Now baby flying squirrels, that's another story. They are soooo cute! I would love to find one of those.
 
superlittlegirl said:
When I was 14 I carried around a quail egg in my bra for weeks, hoping to hatch it. Nothing ever happened, though. That's as maternal as I'm willing to get for birds. And I'm not planning to do it again.

Now baby flying squirrels, that's another story. They are soooo cute! I would love to find one of those.
Click to expand...

Ya I know what you mean. I don't do that sort of thing all the time. But it's always fun to try.

But god damn, you gotta admit that was a lucky egg tho...
 
I had a huge pigeon problem, myself.

Here's how I solved it.

1. Complained to the landlord to fix the eaves, over and over and over and over until he fixed the eaves.

2. Evicted the pigeons off of my window sills. Cleaned off the windowsills with a gallon of disinfectant, rubber gloves, a paint scraper, and a plastic scrubbing pad.

3. Blocked off the windowsills where they had nested with generous and firmly fixed sections of hardware cloth, using my staple-gun.

4. Destroyed small nests that they wanted to form, after that.

My landlord used several owl decoys, but they didn't scare the pigeons, much.

I've noticed that crows made my pigeons quite uncomfortable. The crow would land on the roof and the pigeons would all take off. I don't think the pigeons like to eat eggs, but crows do--so I've considered scattering some hard-boiled eggs around to encourage crows to come by. The trouble is that crows prefer trees, while rock pigeons prefer to roost in the eaves of houses. But I'd try to encourage crows. At least crows are a species native to my area--pigeons are a purely exotic species that don't even belong in the U.S., as far as I am aware.

Oh. A couple more things.
1. Don't bother trying to kill the pigeons. You could probably get away with it, but pigeons breed more if they have more food available. Strangely enough, killing off many of the pigeons could cause them to explode in numbers.

2. Make sure that you at least don't provide easy food right next to your house. Keep the lid on the trash cans/dumpsters--as much as you can, anyway.

3. If you can't block off large sections of the windowsills with the hardware cloth, you can try this other trick. Using a wire-cutters, clip every other wire on the hardware cloth and turn it up so that you create a bed of short spikes that you can tack down on the surface. The pigeons don't like it very much. It helps, a little.
 
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superlittlegirl said:
I don't want to hear their most intimate goings-on.

I was in NYC a couple of weeks ago, and one tried to perch on my foot. I guess I looked friendly enough to it or something.
Click to expand...

I'm thinking these nasty little birds want to hear your moist intimate goings-on.

Just think about that.
 
Rambling Rose said:
Good morning, your Pope-ishness. I gather you're here to let me kiss your ring?

:kiss:
Click to expand...

Well, duh.

Actually I woke up from another nightmare. So I'm up for a bit.

But please, go ahead.
 
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