The dragon sees the future...

G

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Guest
What the future holds in the year 2029...

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally . . scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.
 
Dranoel said:
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

PMSL!
 
hilarious! i especially liked this one:

"85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss"

you are a true visionary!
 
Honda-Disney the only conglomerate throughout the world celebrates appointment of new Head of Entertainment; Walt Disney's head.

Vice-President Schwarzenegger backs NRA demands for personal cruise missiles.

England Inc., under the auspices of His Brittanic Majesty Patsy O'Donovan is sold and towed to Miami to become the 'Cockney Home of Earl Baron Lord Sir Rupert Murdoch' (A Honda-Disney subsidiary)

The virtual home of Linus Torveld is still under siege after 54 years by the 5th armoured windows light infantry (copyright Honda-Disney)

As the war on drug-terror draws to a close Smith-Kline-Beecham concede a takeover by Luigi Vercotti (a wholly owned Honda-Disney subsidiary) which brings about the downtrend price of wholesale Hedex to $1,732 per pack of 24.

The mayor of New York City, which now reaches from Manitoba to New Orleans (and the west coast of Cuba) Little April (58) declares Lolita Day with a parade of overweight (251 pounds) senior citizens in St Trinians school girl costumes clashing with the annual Frankenfurter Asexual Aesthetes Parade. Amongst those arrested are; Humbert Humbert, Sting (87), Richard O'Brian(92) and MaryKate and Ashley (Still 15)

Gauche
 
Man, man.
Your time is sand,
your ways are waves upon the sea.
I am the eyes of Nostrdamus,
all your ways are known to me.
 
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