The Creepiest Thing In The World

[shereads]

Okay, not the world but the USA and not the whole USA but limited television markets.

The creepiest thing in the world is the TV commercial for Banquet frozen dinners, featuring a supposedly comedic actor in the role of the uber-creepy Banquet distributor, who hangs out at supermarkets taking complaints from shoppers who gripe that there's too much food in Banquet frozen dinners, and their families can't eat the entire dinner - so he offers to come to their homes and help them eat.

What's wrong with these people? They can't bear waste that last uneaten Batter-Fried Creamsteakette? If it's so tasty, why not wrap it in foil and stick it in the back of the refrigerator with last month's pimento cheese? You can always make sandwiches. Are you so desparate to clean your $#@ plate that you'll allow a grinning idiot who hangs around the frozen food aisle in a lab coat to invite himself to your house for dinner? Are you CRAZY?

Whatever he does to your family after he's consumed the remains of your too-generous Banquet frozen dinner, you deserved it.

It's creepy.

 

[Dar~]

Okay, not the world but the USA and not the whole USA but limited television markets.

The creepiest thing in the world is the TV commercial for Banquet frozen dinners, featuring a supposedly comedic actor in the role of the uber-creepy Banquet distributor, who hangs out at supermarkets taking complaints from shoppers who gripe that there's too much food in Banquet frozen dinners, and their families can't eat the entire dinner - so he offers to come to their homes and help them eat.

What's wrong with these people? They can't bear waste that last uneaten Batter-Fried Creamsteakette? If it's so tasty, why not wrap it in foil and stick it in the back of the refrigerator with last month's pimento cheese? You can always make sandwiches. Are you so desparate to clean your $#@ plate that you'll allow a grinning idiot who hangs around the frozen food aisle in a lab coat to invite himself to your house for dinner? Are you CRAZY?

Whatever he does to your family after he's consumed the remains of your too-generous Banquet frozen dinner, you deserved it.

It's creepy.

I just have to asay that if I were any of you, I wouldn't ever buy Banquet anything.
I got one of their TV dinners and Was eating the Peas and came across half a loccust. When I called to complain they offered me coupons for more TV dinners . . . .I still have nightmares.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

The Mormon commercial wigs me out everytime... sounds almost cult-like.

Its the one with the two friends just having lunch and one says to the other "Have you read any good books lately?" or something. And she says "Oh, yeah, The Book of Mormon" and goes on to talk about how its a suppliment to the Bible... its just mo' Jesus! Woo!

And then she starts talking about how it makes her feel more peaceful, reading it, and how she's a better person and all that.

And the friend is all like "tell me more".

Creepy.

 

[Dar~]

. . . Do you suffer from erectile disfunction . .

Who can act in those commercials, thats like asking never to get laid again.

 

[sophia jane]

. . . Do you suffer from erectile disfunction . .

Who can act in those commercials, thats like asking never to get laid again.

best part of those is the thing at the end about if you have an erection for more than so many hours, you need to seek medical attention. sorry, but that cracks me up picturing that.

SJ

 

[shereads]

The Mormon commercial wigs me out everytime... sounds almost cult-like.

For sheer creepiness, nothing beats Joseph Smith's bio. He was a carny huckster who dreamed up a religion where he got to screw as many young girls as he could catch, because God ordered him to. It was all legit, but he couldn't prove it to the satisfaction of us skeptics because the angels kept making the secret book vanish whenever he'd want to show it to witnesses. b

Credible, yes. Creepy too.

 

[shereads]

I just have to asay that if I were any of you, I wouldn't ever buy Banquet anything.
I got one of their TV dinners and Was eating the Peas and came across half a loccust. When I called to complain they offered me coupons for more TV dinners . . . .I still have nightmares.

Someone found a fingertip in their Wendy's chili today. Heard it on the news just as I was considering what to have for lunch. Skipped lunch.

Honest to god, they said it was a human fingertip. Not fingernail, but fingertip.

Wouldn't someone have reported that missing?

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

For sheer creepiness, nothing beats Joseph Smith's bio. He was a carny huckster who dreamed up a religion where he got to screw as many young girls as he could catch, because God ordered him to. It was all legit, but he couldn't prove it to the satisfaction of us skeptics because the angels kept making the secret book vanish whenever he'd want to show it to witnesses. b

Credible, yes. Creepy too.

Oh, don't get me started about the Mormons... they lost the second revelation of God on a wagon train in Oregon. Which, hey, shit gets lost, I know... but its the SECOND REVELATION OF GOD and happens to be a big ole' GOLD TABLET.

You'd think they'd have some dude watching that thing 24/7.

 

[shereads]

. . . Do you suffer from erectile disfunction . .

Who can act in those commercials, thats like asking never to get laid again.

I have no problem with those commercials as long as they don't show the couple complaining to a Viagra distributor that the Viagra erections are too much for one couple, prompting the Viagra distributor to invite himself to come over and help, like that creep from Banquet Frozen Foods.

 

[shereads]

Oh, don't get me started about the Mormons... they lost the second revelation of God on a wagon train in Oregon. Which, hey, shit gets lost, I know... but its the SECOND REVELATION OF GOD and happens to be a big ole' GOLD TABLET.

You'd think they'd have some dude watching that thing 24/7.

I like the story about how God revealed His plan for multiple marriage. Joseph Smith's wife got fed up with his philandering and went public. The church elders were threatening to oust him from the church. Smith told them God had ordered him to take more than one wife. They weren't buying it. Then God came to the rescue and decided that it wasn't just Joseph Smith who should sleep with underage girls, it was ALL men. The guys all agreed that it was a fine idea.

Can you just picture Smith's wife standing there with her eyes bugged out going, "You're buying this crap?!"

And the elders all shrug and say, "Hey, it was God's idea, not ours."

 

[shereads]

After which, the church elders all went to Wendy's for lunch and found a fingertip in their chili.

I had lunch at Wendy's last week. I don't feel so good.

 

[Dar~]

I like the story about God revealed His plan for multiple marriage. Joseph Smith's wife got fed up with his philandering and went public. The church elders were threatening to oust him from the church. Smith told them God had ordered him to take more than one wife. They weren't buying it. Then God came to the rescue and decided that it wasn't just Joseph Smith who should sleep with underage girls, it was ALL men. The guys all agreed that it was a fine idea.

Can you just picture Smith's wife standing there with her eyes bugged out going, "You're buying this crap?!"

And the elders all shrug and say, "Hey, it was God's idea, not ours."

Not true . . The reason polygamy was allowed was to care for women, as they weren't allowed to own property adn many mormons were being killed b/c of prejudice. only 2% of the men in the church were allowed to do it, and most didn't actually sleep with both women. I am not mormon, but I do know that much.

 

[maggot420]

Someone found a fingertip in their Wendy's chili today. Heard it on the news just as I was considering what to have for lunch. Skipped lunch.

Honest to god, they said it was a human fingertip. Not fingernail, but fingertip.

Wouldn't someone have reported that missing?

I wondered where I left that.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Someone found a fingertip in their Wendy's chili today. Heard it on the news just as I was considering what to have for lunch. Skipped lunch.

Honest to god, they said it was a human fingertip. Not fingernail, but fingertip.

Wouldn't someone have reported that missing?

The really icky part is, they don't know where it came form.... possibly from the chili manufacturer.

They had a picture of it on MSNBC or somethig. Almost made me throw up.

I wondered where I left that.

*hurl*

 

[shereads]

Not true . . The reason polygamy was allowed was to care for women, as they weren't allowed to own property adn many mormons were being killed b/c of prejudice. only 2% of the men in the church were allowed to do it, and most didn't actually sleep with both women. I am not mormon, but I do know that much.

I like my story better.

 

[Dar~]

I like my story better.

Yeah, its way more fun and inflamatory . . (beer?)

 

[shereads]

The really icky part is, they don't know where it came form.... possibly from the chili manufacturer.

They had a picture of it on MSNBC or somethig. Almost made me throw up.



*hurl*

Does it really matter where it came from? I just hope the person washed his hands first.

It's good that this happened. The effects of reading "Fast Food Nation" were beginning to wear off.

 

[Dar~]

Does it really matter where it came from? I just hope the person washed his hands first.

It's good that this happened. The effects of reading "Fast Food Nation" were beginning to wear off.

At the wendy's in my home town, peopl were getting really sick. no one knew why. until one day we cought htis homeless guy who came in to get coffee spraying te salad bar with a squirt bottle. Turns out it was his piss/shit bottle mixed with water and god knows what else. All the people who had gotten sick confirmed they had eaten salad. now thats nasty, I'd rather find a finger tip.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I am never, ever fucking eating at Wendy's ever again.

 

[Belegon]

I am never, ever fucking eating at Wendy's ever again.

I thought you liked redheads with freckles?


oh, right. it's the gender thing. gotcha.

 

[Dar~]

I thought you liked redheads with freckles?oh, right. it's the gender thing. gotcha.

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gif

I almost peed my pants Bel . .

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gifhttp://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gif

 

[carsonshepherd]

I like peeing my pants...

 

[Dar~]

I like peeing my pants...

sweety as much as I love you this isn't the freaky carson's butt love thread . . . you may have to start one though!
http://cmjk.com/Images/gaygiraffes.jpg

 

[maggot420]

*hurl*

if i can make just one person blow chunks, then my work here is done

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I thought this thread was about Micheal Jackson.