The Crappy Day Thread

[PacificBlue]

I'm having a crappy Monday, not that anybody gives a rat's behind but I'm feeling the need to vent. I've been unemployed for months. I got laid off. I took a chance and took a career move and then the economy tanked. First hired, first fired...I think that's how that saying goes. I've got stacks of rejection letters and I'm quickly losing hope that my life will ever be normal again. I'm sitting here swallowing back tears of pain, anger, and rejection. Yes, I realize I should be thankful for my health, for a family that loves me, etc., etc., etc., but right now this is my reality and I want my "normal" life back. I want to get up tomorrow and have a job to go to. I want to be able to plan for my future instead of worry about the rent next month. I want to not see that "look" in people's eyes when I tell them I'm unemployed. I'm frustrated and discouraged.

 

[stargazer76]

OMG, I am so sorry....I hope things get better for you soon. My best friend is looking for a job right now, too, and not having any luck. It's especially bad for her because she needs the medical insurance from a job to help her pay for the medication treat her bi-polar disorder, but she can't get hired anywhere. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

 

[morninggirl5]

I'm sorry that things aren't going well for you.

One thing that immediately caught my eye in your post was the question about starting a family. That is an ILLEGAL question to ask in a job interview and you are well within your rights to refuse to answer the question. If you subsequently don't get the job, and you were qualified, you have a legal claim against the company. It may be hard to prove, but usually just informing the interviewer that you are aware the question is illegal will move the interview towards the appropriate areas, your qualifications for the position.

Good Luck!

 

[sexy-girl]

Yes, I realize I should be thankful for my health

screw that ... its ok to be angry sometimes dont feel guilty about that ... you will beat this just be confident and think of the excellant qualitys you do have ... take stock of the things your doing and perhaps take a short break

also i have some small bit of advice that you could work on your interview skills with a course (mine was 2 days) ... i thought i was pretty flawless at this and i was confident that i'd be fine in interviews and believed a course would be a waste of time ... but it really helped me (i was forced to do it)

for example one thing they helped me with was that i had a gap in my employment record ... and i covered this question by saying i'd spent the time looking after my nan who was ill (this was true) ... but in other interviews i had been saying i had been looking for work ... its simple things like this that can help ... they also make you feel more relaxed about interviews and they give you feedback on your interview style that you never get when you do goto normal interviews ... sorry to be long winded i wish you well pacific blue i read that poem you enjoyed in your other thread

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me

I own me, and therefore I can engineer me

I am me

and I am okay.

*hugs*

 

[PacificBlue]

I know those questions are illegal and I've been asked much worse and told much worse during interviews the past few months. The problem is that when you interview, you are by yourself. It becomes your word against theirs. Who is going to fess up to asking illegal questions or making illegal comments? Being unemployed I don't have the money to go after them anyway.

 

[morninggirl5]

You don't have to go after them, but a statement from you turning the interview back to the pertinent topics of the interview should be enough. And if it isn't I'd think really hard about at least writing a letter to the interviewer's supervisor and the Labor Board in your state.

Also, consider making a list of your qualifications for the job and when the inappropriate questions are raised, you'll have a written reminder of how to respond.

 

[PacificBlue]

also i have some small bit of advice that you could work on your interview skills with a course (mine was 2 days) ... i thought i was pretty flawless at this and i was confident that i'd be fine in interviews and believed a course would be a waste of time ... but it really helped me (i was forced to do it)

thank you, good advice...I've already done it though. I was offered courses through a head-hunting firm in my severance when I was laid off...I took the courses and met with a career counselor. I re-wrote my resume and practiced interviewing in a group setting with feedback on areas to improve.

 

[PacificBlue]

You don't have to go after them, but a statement from you turning the interview back to the pertinent topics of the interview should be enough. And if it isn't I'd think really hard about at least writing a letter to the interviewer's supervisor and the Labor Board in your state.

Also, consider making a list of your qualifications for the job and when the inappropriate questions are raised, you'll have a written reminder of how to respond.

Good advice...I'll remember that on my next interview. Thank you

 

[p_p_man]

Same thing happened to me once...

I don't know whether you have any particular skill or whether you work in the more general field. But in my case I was getting nowhere fast. Offered and took various Government sponsored schemes with no luck at all. As well as competing in a job market filled with people in a similar position to my self I also had age as a factor against me.

I already had an interest in computers, playing around with them, learning (in a fun way) how they work so in the end I borrowed an accounts program, practiced on a friends business for about two weeks solid (don't worry he knew about it and it wasn't for real it was just to learn the program!) and set myself up as an independent.

That sounds very professional but all I did was put a lineage advertisement in my local paper (that week I went without a couple of meals to pay for it) and within two weeks I was up and running and earning again.

Mistakes a-plenty in the begininng. Not really having a book-keeping background I just stuck rigidly to the rules of the program I used and my first three clients were changing from a manual system to a computerised one, so they knew even less than I did...

My point Pacific Blue is use your computer to work as an independent in whatever field you think you can do. Don't worry about not knowing everything, the people who give you work will consider you the expert and with a lot of initial extra work at night getting to grips with a program, you soon will be.

It was a great relief not have my entire daylight hours filled with thoughts of how I was going to survive until the next benefit day.

Best of luck.

 

[Cheyenne]

Been there, done that, lived to tell the tale. You will, too. I always said getting fired (downsized- same thing in my book) is something that should happen to everyone once. You learn a tremendous amount of stuff- about yourself, your family, your friends, etc. The most important thing I learned being unemployed was that I am a strong person and I can handle it. It isn't fun feeling like no one wants you. Not having a job to get up to go to like everyone else. Thinking that people are giving you a "look" when you say you are unemployed. But I ended up stronger for having had the experience. You will, too.

Unfortunately I ended up being REALLY strong as I was fired 3 times within 1 1/2 years during the last recession. There is a 2 year period in my life of instability in my career that I never ever want to go back to repeat. BUT... if it ever happens to me again, I KNOW I can deal with it. It takes the fear away. You'll never again be terrified at the thought of being fired because you'll know that you can survive it if you have to.

Hang in there. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, too.

 

[Cheyenne]

Just checking to see if there is anything new on the employment front for you. Hope your weekend isn't "crappy" too! Beautiful sunshine here.

 

[PacificBlue]

Actually...

Yes...there is news on the employment front!

I have a interview on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for asking and I'll keep you posted.

 

[Guest]

Yaahhhhhh!

Congrats and knock em dead! Best wishes and fingers crossed, wait! That means I can't type!

 

[PacificBlue]

Then cross your toes silly!!

 

[Pokerman]

PacificBlue said.....
Yes...there is news on the employment front!
I have a interview on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know I'm rooting for ya hon! Keep in touch and let me know how it goes!!!!

-Your biggest fan on the East Coast