The conversation thread

[seela]

My brother and I actually made up our own game called shortcuts, finding ways to climb across multiple backyards, through back alleys, garages...

Knowing where you grew up... It must have been a great game with so many possibilities!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Knowing where you grew up... It must have been a great game with so many possibilities!

Yes. It probably would have been pointless in the suburbs where all the streets are straight and perpendicular.

 

[slutindianwife]

Nice thread, what can we talk about?

 

[Curious51228]

3 things...

Three things stick in my mind:
1. I was really into baseball and my friend and I once played 162 games of whiffle ball in the backyard. For non-Americans it’s basically baseball but with a plastic bat and ball. We kept stats for the whole season too. He won the most games but I hit the most home runs.
2. Playing hide and seek around the neighborhood with a bunch of other kids. Same bunch also played lots of other kid games like kick the can and ghost in the graveyard
3. We used to ride our bikes all over the small town where we grew up. Even rode across the bridge to the other state just to say we’d done it.

Good times!

 

[twister947]

Dirt clod wars...garbage cans were steel then, and made perfect shields.

 

[seela]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

 

[slutindianwife]

So whose taking what to who today/tonite?

 

[wicked woman]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

I've made a number of really good friends from here, but in my earlier days on Lit, when I posted much more frequently, on the How To forum. All of those relationships went off Lit. I was even fortunate to meet some of them in person. Unfortunately over the years, very few of them are still here to post off of, but the friendships remain.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

I have a number of good friends from Lit. I have met a dozen or so people in person and have connected with at least triple that number on social media. And then there are several people that I frequently interact with in the threads that I consider friends, although I don’t even know their actual names. Sure some of these friendships are closer than others, but I do consider them all friends. There are a lot of people here that I just like, too. Would be interested in getting to know better.

I used to be faster to take things off-Lit, but I have been burned so I am more reluctant now. It’s still on the table, but certainly not open for anyone. For a while there, I had a bunch from the GB on my FB. That was the point when I set my friend’s list to private. It’s really easy to figure out who people are based on mutual friends.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

So whose taking what to who today/tonite?

It’s an open and ongoing conversation. Feel free to jump in.

 

[MeekMe]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

It’s a short list. Which is reflective of my real life structure as well. I keep a very short list of friends and most people I do not consider friends but merely acquaintances. I’m usually on auto distrust mode until proven otherwise.

For the few people here on the short list, other social media has been shared and for very select few eventual plans to meet up are pending. I’m also pretty bad at reaching out because I prefer solitude most days so the few in the inner circle may not feel that they actually are.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

There is only one litster that I have met offline and one other that I have given another way than Lit to contact me.
There are people here that I have enjoyed posting with for a long time and PM:ed with and others that I’ve only ever read or posted with in public.
Several people from here have had an actual impact on my life, some of them without ever interacting directly with me, through things I learned, ideas, inspiration.
From other boards like this I have several people thst I’ve met offline and/or shared other means of contact with. They are mostly more local then people from here though.

The word friend is always a difficult one for me.
There are so many kinds of friendly, acquaintancy relationships and sometimes people we met briefly or just interact with under special circumstances can be important to us and make a big difference in our lives. And that is even without mentioning the Harry or Sally thing or the can you be friends with an ex question.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

I haven't really met anyone in life from here. There were a few that I emailed with from some years who. I'm probably too socially awkward to really pull of moving off lit though. I wouldn't mind meeting several as acquaintances or even friends. Boundaries are important and keeping kink private is important to me because of my job and area where I live. I do like meeting people though. I like the connections I've made with people.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Prompted by Fara's mention elsewhere about making a new friend.

Who do you consider your friend on Lit, not asking for specific names but generally? Are your friends the people who frequent the same threads and whose posts you comment that you've kind of gotten to know possibly over several years of happily parallel posting without ever or hardly ever sharing anything with them in private? Or do you think considering someone a friend requires sharing something more with them than you would do here in public? How soon do you tend to take your conversations off-Lit, if ever? Is that a "special tier" of Lit friendship for you or is it something you do a lot?

It can be either. I'm more likely to PM with people who I consider friends, but it's not a hard rule. Sometimes PMing is just about drama avoidance.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I have a couple of good friends. ( I will accept Sela's terms and not identify them. Frankly, nobody would believe the people I chat with.) There are very few of that small number I have talked with off Lit (just one presently, and for quite some time). To my knowledge, there is one person reasonably nearby, (she figured it out from something I said). We have chatted a bit, but never met and neither of us are interested.

 

[gracie920101]

5 Litsters have my contact info outside Lit but I'm not sure how many of those know my vanilla name. Which is okay, but I'm losing my filters as I age and that could change!

I also have 3 or 4 others that I chat with on a random basis because I suck at reaching out. I'm usually reading and don't think of chatting or checking in on a routine basis.

I would love to meet any those that I have referenced in person plus a few others that I've lurked around but some of you guys are so intimidating in print I'd be nervous to meet in person.

 

[Dreamliner]

I have met three Listers over the years not in my country and three in country.

There are a small number that I converse with via PM from time to time and use my name. While guarded , provided I have confidence with the other person, I am comfortable communicating direct via other options.

 

[seela]

I hardly ever PM with people here, but somehow I've managed to make friends here over the years. The number of people I'd call friends rather than "friendly acquaintances" or something like that is really small.

And to me there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a "friendly acquaintance" that I mostly just post with in the same threads. They're the people that I can chitchat with casually when the mood strikes. I've noticed that casual chitchat like that can help me keep my mind off some heavy stuff when life gets a little too much. Sometimes having a little distance makes for a better distraction and at times I really need that.

I've met 4 people off Lit IRL and 5 Litsters, current or former, know my real name or other easily identifiable information (only two of the people I've met know my real name). About 10 people have a way to contact me other than Lit, combined over all the years I've been here. Most of them I'm not in touch with anymore.

But many more than those roughly 10 or so people that I've really talked one-on-one with have been important to me one way or another. There are so many people I wonder about even though I've never exchanged a single PM with them or rarely even talked with them on the boards. Some people just make an impact and leave you wondering when they disappear.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Thinking about people disappearing from here, I sometimes wish some were still around because I really enjoyed reading their comments. At the same time, I've disappeared before too when I wasn't doing as well. I just haven't really found the same type of interaction and thought in other places that I've watched here. There's been lots of discussions that really made me think and have changed my views.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Thinking about people disappearing from here, I sometimes wish some were still around because I really enjoyed reading their comments. At the same time, I've disappeared before too when I wasn't doing as well. I just haven't really found the same type of interaction and thought in other places that I've watched here. There's been lots of discussions that really made me think and have changed my views.

I’ve thought about that too. I think part of it is that this place has been around for so long. The internet has changed so much over that time, it makes your head spin.

Actually if I may start a parallell conversation:
What was your (geberal you, not just UMB) first contact with the internet and with BDSM on the internet?

 

[slutindianwife]

I’ve thought about that too. I think part of it is that this place has been around for so long. The internet has changed so much over that time, it makes your head spin.

Actually if I may start a parallell conversation:
What was your (geberal you, not just UMB) first contact with the internet and with BDSM on the internet?

My first BDSM encounter was here.
Met a psycho on lit, who wanted me to take pix of all he told me to do.
Fukin whacko!

 

[seela]

I’ve thought about that too. I think part of it is that this place has been around for so long. The internet has changed so much over that time, it makes your head spin.

Actually if I may start a parallell conversation:
What was your (geberal you, not just UMB) first contact with the internet and with BDSM on the internet?

With the internet in general it was around 1996. I remember going to the website of a local boy band because I didn’t know where else to go. There wasn’t that much content back then. There was a TV show here at one point where two competitors had to look for information online and who was the fastest won. A year or two later I found chat rooms.

My first contact with BDSM on the internet was around 2000 and it happened on IRC. I had maybe seen some BDSM porn online before that, but that was the first time I found people to talk with.

 

[IrisAlthea]

With the internet in general it was around 1996. I remember going to the website of a local boy band because I didn’t know where else to go. There wasn’t that much content back then. There was a TV show here at one point where two competitors had to look for information online and who was the fastest won. A year or two later I found chat rooms.

My first contact with BDSM on the internet was around 2000 and it happened on IRC. I had maybe seen some BDSM porn online before that, but that was the first time I found people to talk with.

Imagining the website of Leningrad Cowboys now, just so you know.

I guess the first contact with the internet in any form for me was at university in the early 90’s. It was databases, boolean searches and wow, like reading the encyklopedia, something I’d always loved.
Home computers with internet came surprisingly soon after.

BDSM the acronym, I found on ASSTR as a tag on a story that I read.

ETA: It was still very Web 1.0 but as I recall it there was a lot of information. I’m rather fuzzy about the time frame, when it comes to what pages were out there and what came later. I do remember finding the name of the Eulenspiegel society funny, because my german teacher in school always talked about Till Eulenspiegel.

 

[seela]

Imagining the website of Leningrad Cowboys now, just so you know.

I guess the first contact with the internet in any form for me was at university in the early 90’s. It was databases, boolean searches and wow, like reading the encyklopedia, something I’d always loved.
Home computers with internet came surprisingly soon after.

BDSM the acronym, I found on ASSTR as a tag on a story that I read.

ETA: It was still very Web 1.0 but as I recall it there was a lot of information. I’m rather fuzzy about the time frame, when it comes to what pages were out there and what came later. I do remember finding the name of the Eulenspiegel society funny, because my german teacher in school always talked about Till Eulenspiegel.

Leningrad Cowboys would have been so much cooler. It was this nifty little number instead- The URL of their website was in a magazine and that's how I found it. I remember not being very impressed by the whole internet thing - maybe because I never liked that band and the first time I used the internet I really didn't know where else to go other than that URL.

Later I learned how to find other stuff, but it was still very difficult to find things that a) interested me and b) were in a language I understood. I was a child.

I had my own website 1998-2000. I recently found a backup of the last version of the website before I took it down in 2000. It was rather interesting to see it all. In hindsight, I was a pretty decent writer and I was a complete nutjob even back then. The texts have provided many a good laugh recently, though.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Leningrad Cowboys would have been so much cooler. It was this nifty little number instead- The URL of their website was in a magazine and that's how I found it. I remember not being very impressed by the whole internet thing - maybe because I never liked that band and the first time I used the internet I really didn't know where else to go other than that URL.

Later I learned how to find other stuff, but it was still very difficult to find things that a) interested me and b) were in a language I understood. I was a child.

I had my own website 1998-2000. I recently found a backup of the last version of the website before I took it down in 2000. It was rather interesting to see it all. In hindsight, I was a pretty decent writer and I was a complete nutjob even back then. The texts have provided many a good laugh recently, though.

Hehe, the look like they could be in the ESC.

Well I’m older.
The swedish language parts were rather pointless as I remember it.
I read and stayed silent for a long time because most of what I found interesting was in english.
First time I actually interacted was probably website or live journal guest books.

This place was one of the places where I read long before I registered and let alone posted. I don’t know what was more intimidating, some of Roscos musings or Pures posting style. Yes, I took a look in the subscribed list.