The collar

[Marvencwe]

Interesting discussion.

The few Masters I've met around here tend to use chains as collars, so they pass as just a habitual piece of jewelry. (One I know to have been made by the Master in question, and it is a gorgeous piece of woven links with no visible clasp and a Celtic-knotwork pendant.)

I also wore a chain as a collar, and it was in the same tradition--delicate-looking filigree links and a heart-shaped antique padlock-locket as a clasp.

I got a lot of compliments on it as jewelry, but only the other Masters ever twigged that it was more than a necklace. When the relationship ended, I gave him the chain back and kept the locket.

 

[JMohegan]

I've been wearing mine for about a month or so now, to see if it holds up to everyday use and to gauge how comfortable it is. I doubt anyone thinks I'm a goth and the other comments I get are along the lines of it being a nice bit of jewellery and can they have one.

I'm not sure I'd like the idea of being analogous with a dog, obedient or otherwise.

These are collars. So are these.

If you're wearing something that people perceive to be a nice bit of jewelry, then you're wearing a necklace and just calling it a "collar," yes?

 

[Marvencwe]

If you're wearing something that people perceive to be a nice bit of jewelry, then you're wearing a necklace and just calling it a "collar," yes?

YOU argue with said Masters that it's "not really a collar".

I take the position that it's not my place to correct the giver in such instances. (If Master chooses to call it a collar when he gives it to me, by god I had better call it a collar also.)

(Since tone doesn't really come across in print, I'm smiling as I type this up, albeit a bit wryly.)

 

[where]

These are collars. So are these.

If you're wearing something that people perceive to be a nice bit of jewelry, then you're wearing a necklace and just calling it a "collar," yes?

I think it's just that there is very little awareness of BDSM where I live. And the intention is key. Although I'm not technically 'collared'. They are designed to be... not collars for play like you linked, but more symbolic. Just because it looks like these...http://www.fetishcollars.com/

doesn't make it any less a collar than some big heavy gorean thing.

 

[JMohegan]

I think it's just that there is very little awareness of BDSM where I live. And the intention is key. Although I'm not technically 'collared'. They are designed to be... not collars for play like you linked, but more symbolic. Just because it looks like these...http://www.fetishcollars.com/

doesn't make it any less a collar than some big heavy gorean thing.

Those just look like jewelry to me. That spiked one would make me think goth girl was trying to go glam or something, but the others are just silver necklaces.

I don't think public reaction to that jewelry would have anything to do with awareness of BDSM. What makes it a collar in your mind is the association you attach to it. Which is fine, but not what I'm talking about here.

 

[where]

Those just look like jewelry to me. That spiked one would make me think goth girl was trying to go glam or something, but the others are just silver necklaces.

I don't think public reaction to that jewelry would have anything to do with awareness of BDSM. What makes it a collar in your mind is the association you attach to it. Which is fine, but not what I'm talking about here.

well yes, a collar can be a thin thread or Kilo of gold and what are you talking about then, apart from not liking them, i mean?

 

[JMohegan]

well yes, a collar can be a thin thread or Kilo of gold and what are you talking about then, apart from not liking them, i mean?

In my exchanges with you specifically, I'm talking about assumptions I make when I see stuff on people's necks. I've also been responding to your assertion that general public ignorance about BDSM explains why people fail to recognize your silver jewelry as a kinky collar.

 

[x_wired_x]

The traditional BDSM relationship (or at the very least, traditional BDSM as it was taught to me) progresses as the level of trust and devotion increases and submission deepens, from the Dom/sub stage, to the training stage, to finally the absolute Master/slave relationship. It doesn't take much imagination to see that this is a perfect mirror for the traditional vanilla progression of boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance and finally marriage.

So as MotherLovesYou stated, a collaring is a very serious thing. In my opinion, far more serious then even vanilla marriage. Why? Because now days all you have to do to be married is sign a peice of paper, put on a ring and your husband and wife (or wife and wife, or husband and husband, depending on such circumstances )--the ceramony isn't even necessary anymore in most places, so long as the legal stuff is done right. But to be someone's submissive, or to be someones Master, there needs to be a very strong foundation of trust--even more so in the deeper and more absolute Master/slave relationship, and even more so still when it's a 24/7 lifestyle relationship--even if the 24/7 relationship doesn't involve a slave.

Collaring does have many meanings to many different people. But to me, and at least a few others it seems, it is a very deep and romantic event.

Couldn't have said it better.