The clinically depressed Top

[northwoods_sub]

Thanks again guys for all the support.

And yes, in a weird way, it does make me feel somewhat better about myself to know that I'm not the only one here whose brain is misbehaving. I'll burn in hell I know.

No burning in hell for you. In my own experience it was such a relief to finally have someone know what it was like inside my head! My DH doesn't get it, no matter how hard he tries he just can't grasp why and how my brain freaks out the way it does sometimes, especially when there is absolutely no reason for me to all of a sudden fall apart at the seams.
Loving Dominant he is, comprehending of my mental health disorders he is not even though he tries.

 

[coy_one]

I'm depressed. Neurotic. You name it. I don't let it define me. I just get the help I need along my journey and call it good.

 

[Rosie_Riveter]

Thank you all for the nice and encouraging words.

I'm actually feeling somewhat relieved now that I've been diagnosed with this depression shit. In a way, it helps making sense of what my life has been for the last few months and take some of the blame of my shoulders.

I'm hoping that the meds are going to help and I'm working on re-thinking my priorities. Now, if I could just have a scotch with it, it would be great!

And apparently, I'm one of the lucky few whose libido isn't much affected by the depression. Actually, sex and play are one of the few things that were bringing me pleasure and fun in the last few months. "BDSM - your friend through depression". I wonder if that could sell?

Alas, if the depression doesn't kill your libido the meds might. Sometimes you have to experiment with different meds to minimize the bad stuff and maximize the good stuff--but something works for most people.

I had a classic and massive case of post-partum depression, and not only did I not figure it out for ages--my docs were mystified as well.

Hang in there.

 

[mickyp123]

I'm depressed. Neurotic. You name it. I don't let it define me. I just get the help I need along my journey and call it good.

Interesting TOPic possibly what would be worse for the bottom, having a depressed Top, a neurotic Top, a Top with PMT, or cop one with all bloody three? any takers.....

 

[DeservingBitch]

Interesting TOPic possibly what would be worse for the bottom, having a depressed Top, a neurotic Top, a Top with PMT, or cop one with all bloody three? any takers.....

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this right now, but frankly, this is kind of offensive to me. Actually, not 'kinda'. It is offensive and insulting.

I don't care if it was meant as a joke. It's not funny.

If you want to seriously discuss the implications of a PYL dealing with mental health issues, go ahead, start a thread about it. I actually think it would be a worthwhile discussion to have.

But here is not the place, nor the time to ask whether my dealing with depression makes me the 'worse for a bottom'. Trivializing mental illness is NOT funny, and it's fucking insulting to suggest that I (or any other PYL in my situation) wouldn't be responsible enough to seriously consider the implications of my depression on my partners.

 

[BiBunny]

Depressed? No. Struggling with social anxiety issues for years? Yes. Not the same thing, obviously, but it gives a similar sense of isolation, I'd imagine. *Hugs*

I've been doing better in the last month, actually. I made up my mind to try to do something about it. No meds, though I wouldn't be opposed to them if it got as out-of-control as it was this summer and early fall. I'm just a damned stubborn bitch with a few really good friends who's decided she's not going to let this shit rule her life anymore.

I think, DB, with the right combination of meds and the "I'm going to fix this" attitude that it seems like you have, you'll be back your old self pretty soon.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I think, DB, with the right combination of meds and the "I'm going to fix this" attitude that it seems like you have, you'll be back your old self pretty soon.

Thanks for the vote of confidence BB.

I have a close friend dealing with anxiety as well. Hers is chronic thought, and she's been on meds for the last two years, and will most likely be on meds for the rest of her life. Which is the best thing that she could do to herself: I've never seen her more happy and functional than in those last two years since she started the meds and therapy.

 

[mickyp123]

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this right now, but frankly, this is kind of offensive to me. Actually, not 'kinda'. It is offensive and insulting.

I don't care if it was meant as a joke. It's not funny.

If you want to seriously discuss the implications of a PYL dealing with mental health issues, go ahead, start a thread about it. I actually think it would be a worthwhile discussion to have.

But here is not the place, nor the time to ask whether my dealing with depression makes me the 'worse for a bottom'. Trivializing mental illness is NOT funny, and it's fucking insulting to suggest that I (or any other PYL in my situation) wouldn't be responsible enough to seriously consider the implications of my depression on my partners.

Point taken......

 

[DeservingBitch]

Point taken......

I was not making a 'point'. I was telling you that your comment was insensitive, hurtful, and insulting.

The appropriate thing to do after making an insensitive and/or hurtful comment and being called on it is to 1) acknowledge the harm done, 2) apologize for it, and 3) avoid repeating same offense in the future.

 

[Fluff-Fairy]

Yep, that would be me.

After more or less 6 months of not being functional and generally feeling like a failure, I had a break-down a few days ago, and someone pointed out to me that I needed to see a doctor. Funny it never occured to me that the insomnia, oversleeping, significant weight lost, and general inability to accomplish the smallest task were symptoms of something wrong beyond me not being able to just pull myself together.

Got out of the doctor's office with a diagnosis of major clinical depression, anti-depressant medication, and a recomendation to see a therapist.

Yeh genetics, academia and poverty!

And I can't even have a scotch now.

That sucks. Hope you are feeling better.

I officially deem this as a non-fluff thread. By the powers vested in me as the Official Literotica Fluff-Fairy I hereby proclaim that this thread is full of serious shit.

 

[Netzach]

That sucks. Hope you are feeling better.

I officially deem this as a non-fluff thread. By the powers vested in me as the Official Literotica Fluff-Fairy I hereby proclaim that this thread is full of serious shit.

Dude, there are movie threads. And a whole thread for drinking.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Dude, there are movie threads. And a whole thread for drinking.

Did I mention that I'd really like a scotch right now?

 

[coy_one]

I was not making a 'point'. I was telling you that your comment was insensitive, hurtful, and insulting.

The appropriate thing to do after making an insensitive and/or hurtful comment and being called on it is to 1) acknowledge the harm done, 2) apologize for it, and 3) avoid repeating same offense in the future.

Notice he hasn't apologized to me. Not even in PM either.

Being a responsible Top is understanding your limitations and getting help. I don't mind sharing with others my story of struggle and how I have overcome the darkest of days. This is a supportive group of people here, and it's through our support that others have the comfort they need. I no longer struggle with depression. I have a few sad days, but nothing like before. I know that the people that supported me, that gave me encouragement when I was neck deep in therapy were one of the reasons I kept going.

Cheap shots are only a few forums away in the General Board, Micky.


DB, I hope that you are doing better.

 

[bandelero]

a little strength

Sending a little strength your way....hope it helps you build some steps back up DB

Applaud your guts to share this, like others here I DO know how crap it is to be depressed, like others all I can reiterate is, "This too WILL pass"

hug

 

[intothewoods]

*bump for rida*