The Church People Where Just Here

[Match Made In Heaven]

Now my hands are cold- typing is hard. From standing in the doorway and chatting

Anyway, some people came from a local church to invite me to attend (and let me know that they have a church bus.)

Who knows- a little christian guilt might pump up my sex life

Plus, my kids love church

 

[Match Made In Heaven]

I neglected to say, "It was nice talking to you, but I have to get back to my online porn now."

That would have been wrong.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

You should have invited them in and shown them the porn. That way they would know what they are up against.

Makes for a more fair fight, don't you think?

 

[CharleyH]

I neglected to say, "It was nice talking to you, but I have to get back to my online porn now."

That would have been wrong.

In writing a particular story, I came upon some intriguing research. First, the obvious: the more repressed, the more porn . . . so in actuality, you may have hit upon a gold mine of opportunity to really open up the term "passion of Christ."

Some 19th century magazines included:

The Pearl
The Annals of Gallentry
The Whippingham Papers

Second, I did not know that the word 'fuck' existed prior to the 20th century.

New things, everyday.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Match,

Maybe you should have done what a friend of mine says she once did. According to her, this is a true story.

My short, cute, and married life-long friend was getting regular visits from two very persistent middle-aged ladies going door-to-door as Jehovah Witness missionaries. One afternoon my friend is home alone, trying on the Victoria's Secret see-thru shortie nightie she'd bought as wrapping for the anniversary present she was going to give her husband.

Naturally, the doorbell rang. The JW ladies had returned. My friend, who is notoriously polite, started to put on a robe, then thought, why? She already had a cigarette going and there just happened to be a half-empty glass of flat Coke on the kitchen table.

So here's the scene. It's the middle of the afternoon. The cute young housewife opens the front door and greets the missionary ladies. Her long hair is slightly mussed, she's barefoot, and wearing a short, very revealing nightie. There's a cigarette in one hand and a half-full glass of something in the other. The ladies' jaws drop, they mumble something, hand her a couple JW tracts, and vanish, never to be seen again.

To this day I don't know if I would rather have had a photo of my friend standing in the doorway or a reaction shot of the two missionary women the moment the latter saw the former.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Kassiana]

Blasphemy can add some spice to a sexual situation.

 

[cantdog]

So can lingerie. And those Witnesses are probably seething with repressed passion.

 

[Guest]

I neglected to say, "It was nice talking to you, but I have to get back to my online porn now."

That would have been wrong.

LMAO!

But funny. Very, very funny.


Actually this morning we took our kids to our church for the Easter egg hunt. They had a blast and came home with buckets of eggs and candy. Plus as our attendance has been sporadic it was nice to see friends again.

Now I've got some guilt working on me, too.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

So can lingerie. And those Witnesses are probably seething with repressed passion.

Cantdog,

Wouldn't you love to have heard what they said afterward? I'm not sure I could handle knowing their inner-most thoughts.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[NoJo]

JW's are like Real Life spam. But I actually quite respect the personal approach. If I tell them the truth, that I'm both atheist and Jewish, it's impossible to get rid of them. I'm like a bitch in heat to them.

 

[cantdog]

No, I really wouldn't care to know what they said (fairly predictable) nor what they thought. They are lost to the community of mankind. Like employees of IRS.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I'm not a Witness, I'm more of a Bystander. I just don't want to get involved...






thanks kinky friedman...

 

[CharleyH]

So can lingerie. And those Witnesses are probably seething with repressed passion.

What are mens lingerie?

 

[Guest]

Cantdog,

Wouldn't you love to have heard what they said afterward? I'm not sure I could handle knowing their inner-most thoughts.

Rumple Foreskin

Several gasps, I'm certain.

Some frequent rereading of certain tract passages.

and then a few of these -


"Goodness gracious!"


"My heavens!"


"My Lord!"


"Did you see her tits? God, she's hot!"

 

[carsonshepherd]

What are mens lingerie?

Naked.

 

[NoJo]

Usually a pair of socks and Y front, and a beer.

 

[carsonshepherd]

damn Joe, you just made me hot...

 

[cantdog]

Mens' lingerie? Tongue, I always thought.