The Bitch Thread

[Red Sonja]

In order to get funding and/or a space in underfunded programs such as speech therapy, schools have to jump through hoops. i am having problems with a kid with LD. In order to get the kid tested, i have to have the kid get a paediatric assessment, a hearing test, and have her evaluated by an LD team for 2 terms before they'll even test her to find out what she has. Hoops.
Also, the assistive tech is probably for his handwriting, judging by your comments.

My advice as a teacher? Set up an appointment and go in and ask what their intentions and plans are. Ask why he is being evaluated for these things. Please don't be rude or mean, classroom teachers often have no say on what is and isn't addressed. All we can do is bring it to others attention.
Also ask what you can do to support him at home.

But bitch away here, that's what the thread is for.

A bit more background... he is in 7th grade. He's been in speech therapy paid for by us since 1st grade. I am not offended by the request to evaluate. My offense is the call from the teacher who never mentions the assistive tech or classroom eval. Nope all I hear about is speech, and then get the form with all these additional things checked.

Not honest. Not even a little. If these are concerns then why not tell the parent straight up instead of putting it on the form? I might have agreed then. Now my reaction is Nuh-uh. Not happening.

And again... he's in 7th grade. Where was the desire for assistive tech when I was struggling to get him help with handwriting etc in 2nd 3rd and 4th and everyone said... have him use the computer? We've also been paying for private occupational hand therapy for him since 2nd grade. *sigh*

Anyway, we're just going to refuse all services, and if they think that makes us bad parents... so be it.

 

[brioche]

A bit more background... he is in 7th grade. He's been in speech therapy paid for by us since 1st grade. I am not offended by the request to evaluate. My offense is the call from the teacher who never mentions the assistive tech or classroom eval. Nope all I hear about is speech, and then get the form with all these additional things checked.

Not honest. Not even a little. If these are concerns then why not tell the parent straight up instead of putting it on the form? I might have agreed then. Now my reaction is Nuh-uh. Not happening.

And again... he's in 7th grade. Where was the desire for assistive tech when I was struggling to get him help with handwriting etc in 2nd 3rd and 4th and everyone said... have him use the computer? We've also been paying for private occupational hand therapy for him since 2nd grade. *sigh*

Anyway, we're just going to refuse all services, and if they think that makes us bad parents... so be it.

i have a problem with that IF it is detrimental to your child. If it's not, i don't care.

 

[Red Sonja]

i have a problem with that IF it is detrimental to your child. If it's not, i don't care.

Since we're already paying for him to receive services privately... it is NOT detrimental to my child... but thanks for your concern.

 

[graceanne]

A bit more background... he is in 7th grade. He's been in speech therapy paid for by us since 1st grade. I am not offended by the request to evaluate. My offense is the call from the teacher who never mentions the assistive tech or classroom eval. Nope all I hear about is speech, and then get the form with all these additional things checked.

Not honest. Not even a little. If these are concerns then why not tell the parent straight up instead of putting it on the form? I might have agreed then. Now my reaction is Nuh-uh. Not happening.

And again... he's in 7th grade. Where was the desire for assistive tech when I was struggling to get him help with handwriting etc in 2nd 3rd and 4th and everyone said... have him use the computer? We've also been paying for private occupational hand therapy for him since 2nd grade. *sigh*

Anyway, we're just going to refuse all services, and if they think that makes us bad parents... so be it.

I would avoid any state service, if you can. If you're paying for all this, anyway, then why are they wanting to evaluate him? Sounds to me like they're being nosy about stuff that's none of their business.

 

[brioche]

Since we're already paying for him to receive services privately... it is NOT detrimental to my child... but thanks for your concern.

i thought you were indicating that you were taking care of these things privately. i just wasn't sure. The fact that you're willing to continue to do that rather than jump through the hoops is interesting, to say the least, and kind fo refreshing.

i wish there were more parents like you.

 

[graceanne]

i thought you were indicating that you were taking care of these things privately. i just wasn't sure. The fact that you're willing to continue to do that rather than jump through the hoops is interesting, to say the least, and kind fo refreshing.

i wish there were more parents like you.

Quite often parents are willing, but don't have the money. Therapists of any kind are spendy. My neice stutters, and my sister looked into a speach therapist and she can't afford it, so she has to jump through hoops.

 

[Red Sonja]

Quite often parents are willing, but don't have the money. Therapists of any kind are spendy. My neice stutters, and my sister looked into a speach therapist and she can't afford it, so she has to jump through hoops.

Yep we're lucky. Our insurance covers the cost of two visits to the speech therapist and occupational therapist a week. All we pay is the co-pay. Plus, there is a masonic order here that works with speech pathology to provide extra help free of charge. It utilizes graduate students in the field, but hey, you can't beat the price. He goes there every afternoon for half an hour.

It's called Scottish Rite, and if there's one near her graceanne, she may want to check it out.

 

[graceanne]

Yep we're lucky. Our insurance covers the cost of two visits to the speech therapist and occupational therapist a week. All we pay is the co-pay. Plus, there is a masonic order here that works with speech pathology to provide extra help free of charge. It utilizes graduate students in the field, but hey, you can't beat the price. He goes there every afternoon for half an hour.

It's called Scottish Rite, and if there's one near her graceanne, she may want to check it out.

I'll look into it. My neice could definately use a little help. We've been working a bit with her, making her slow down and think of what she's going to say. But that's all we know to do. Well, other than not get frusterated when it takes her forever to get out a sentance.

 

[graceanne]

Yep we're lucky. Our insurance covers the cost of two visits to the speech therapist and occupational therapist a week. All we pay is the co-pay. Plus, there is a masonic order here that works with speech pathology to provide extra help free of charge. It utilizes graduate students in the field, but hey, you can't beat the price. He goes there every afternoon for half an hour.

It's called Scottish Rite, and if there's one near her graceanne, she may want to check it out.

Is there a link? Like do they have a site?

 

[Recidiva]

I'll look into it. My neice could definately use a little help. We've been working a bit with her, making her slow down and think of what she's going to say. But that's all we know to do. Well, other than not get frusterated when it takes her forever to get out a sentance.

It's difficult. My son has learning disabilities and is borderline autistic. It's difficult to classify and difficult to get help.

I'm a fast learner but since it's so easy for me to learn, the patience that it takes to teach is hard to come by.

Patience is key and that's hard to find. Society is not geared toward patience being something you test for, hire by or can grade. I'm still trying to devise a standard by which I can determine progress. He still hasn't decided that language is really for him and he's almost eight. He doesn't want to read at all. He has to teach me how to think like him before I can reverse engineer that and help him how to think like me. Working on it.

 

[graceanne]

It's difficult. My son has learning disabilities and is borderline autistic. It's difficult to classify and difficult to get help.

I'm a fast learner but since it's so easy for me to learn, the patience that it takes to teach is hard to come by.

Patience is key and that's hard to find. Society is not geared toward patience being something you test for, hire by or can grade. I'm still trying to devise a standard by which I can determine progress. He still hasn't decided that language is really for him and he's almost eight. He doesn't want to read at all. He has to teach me how to think like him before I can reverse engineer that and help him how to think like me. Working on it.

Yeah, that's rough. The closest I can come to sympathising is my friend Sarah. Sarah has an IQ of 64, and she requires a lot of attention. I get tired after just a few hours with her. I'd like to think I'd never get impatient with a child like that - but I get impatient with my children - and their's nothing wrong with their ability to learn.

 

[Recidiva]

Yeah, that's rough. The closest I can come to sympathising is my friend Sarah. Sarah has an IQ of 64, and she requires a lot of attention. I get tired after just a few hours with her. I'd like to think I'd never get impatient with a child like that - but I get impatient with my children - and their's nothing wrong with their ability to learn.

Well, autism is just in that range of being brilliant at one thing but dirt dumb at other stuff, so it's hard to classify. So my son is great at things like games and backward at other things, but he thinks we're all very dumb and treats us like servants. Funny and tragic and we try to have a sense of humor and help him feel normal and loved. Best I can do for him. But it's difficult to translate to people who don't speak his particular brand of reality.

 

[graceanne]

Well, autism is just in that range of being brilliant at one thing but dirt dumb at other stuff, so it's hard to classify. So my son is great at things like games and backward at other things, but he thinks we're all very dumb and treats us like servants. Funny and tragic and we try to have a sense of humor and help him feel normal and loved. Best I can do for him. But it's difficult to translate to people who don't speak his particular brand of reality.

Yeah, I know. I spent a few years in highschool aiding in the special ed room. I used to want to be a special ed teacher. Autistic kids alternate between really cool and really frusterating.

But I have the same problem with Sarah. I'm probably the only 'normal' person who's friends with her, that isn't paid. And those loosers who take advantage of her don't count. I go with her to most things that involve the state or whatever just to make sure no one's taking advantage of her, and that she really understands what's going on. It never ceases to amaze me how nasty and pushy people can be with her.

 

[Recidiva]

Yeah, I know. I spent a few years in highschool aiding in the special ed room. I used to want to be a special ed teacher. Autistic kids alternate between really cool and really frusterating.

But I have the same problem with Sarah. I'm probably the only 'normal' person who's friends with her, that isn't paid. And those loosers who take advantage of her don't count. I go with her to most things that involve the state or whatever just to make sure no one's taking advantage of her, and that she really understands what's going on. It never ceases to amaze me how nasty and pushy people can be with her.

That's my next challenge is phasing him into trusting him to live his own life and suffer the slings and arrows. He's smart and tough and we'll just have to put it to the test and see how he does. He's managed to frustrate the hell out of me, I bet he'll do the same to the rest of the world

 

[graceanne]

My stupid sister is such a freaken flake. Our phone is in her name. The agreement is that I babysit for her on Monday evenings, she pays our bill. She didn't - they turned off my phone. So, she promised that during the day I could use her cell phone until it gets turned back on (since I just went ahead and switched it into MY name - fuck that). So it's now 2 pm, and guess who I haven't seen today? Man, when I get ahold of her I'm gonna rip her a new asshole. Fucking flake. Stupid, inconsiderate bitch.

 

[DVS]

I have a sister that has Downs. She is 50, but her mental scale is very low. She can communicate with you, if you know her, and can understand her, but if not, you're lost. Except for when she was going to a special school for Downs patients, her day is filled with playing with Barbie dolls and watching reruns of Gillligan's Island, one of her favorite shows.

I must add there is a group she's with that takes her on trips. Her social security pays for her way on these trips they take. Listen...they take some cool trips...Hawaii, Europe, and a cruise once. She does have her share of fun. And, she watches TV and goes places, so she's not just a shut in, by any means.

The problem started when my parents died, and she needed to live with someone. One of my older sisters has a three bedroom house, and she lives alone, so she was elected by default. And, that was no problem because they get along well, too.

But, as time goes on, we all can become more callus to the ones we live with, because we see more of what really happens that others don't see. I think this is happening with my sisters.

The older sister is getting close to 62 years old. But, I hear her complaining about my little sister not doing this or doing that, etc. It makes me wonder sometimes...my older sister knows she has Downs, and her mental ability is very limited. But, because we can communicate with her, I think she sees someone who's more able than she really is.

It bothers me that she gets so frustrated with my little sister, when she doesn't do some of the things she thinks she should be able to do. Actually, I don't think she should have such expectations for her, becuase it's making my older sister's life a small hell.

I've always been the black sheep of the family and the one who didn't finish college, and the one who's always tried to enjoy life when I could. But, my two older sisters have been the dutiful daughters they thought they should, and finished college, became teachers and were miserable the whole time.

I think iI'm resented by my older sisters because I wasn't miserable, like they were. And, I don't have the say in family matters, as an equal, either. My two older sisters are only a year apart and so they act almost like twins.

But, it does bother me when I see what's going on in that house. One sister is getting frustrated at the other, and I just want to say "Hey, she has Downs, she isn't going to comprehend some of this."

But, I'm trying to get along with family. Oh, I should also say I could always eat anything I wanted (pretty much still can) and not gain any weight. My older sisters always said "one of these days, it will catch up with you" because they were always fighting with their weight.

Well, that day never came, and I can still pretty much eat what I want. They see this as unfair and almost like it's my fault this has happened. I just can't do anything right, so I keep my mouth shut as much as possilbe.

 

[brioche]

Quite often parents are willing, but don't have the money. Therapists of any kind are spendy. My neice stutters, and my sister looked into a speach therapist and she can't afford it, so she has to jump through hoops.

Oh, well, that's true, there are plenty of parents who can't afford it. i spent my entire childhood constantly plagued by upper respiratory infection and ear problems of all kinds because we couldn't afford to get that sort of thing looked into too deeply, just to the amount of OHIP coverage (that's Ontario's public health plan). My earliest memory is of lying on my Dad's lap getting ear drops and crying. We didn't have a lot of money. When i was a kid, i actually thought it was normal for your grandparents to drive for hours every weekend to "visit" and bring bags of groceries with them.
Eventually i found out that i have negative pressure in tubes in my ears; the Eustachian tubes if i remember correctly. It doesn't matter now, but it sure as heck made things difficult for me when i was growing. i still can't pop my ears without effort to this day. i also have allergies and asthma.

As for autistic kids, i have worked in special ed classrooms, and liked it on the whole. i like teaching the younger grades because of its nurturing aspects, and that translates well into spec. ed. The second day i was there i had one higher functioning kid sitting on my lap (by his choice not mine) telling me stories, "Once upon a time and they all lived happily ever after." You have to be stubborn to get the work done, stern if they hit you, and also willing to do something over and over if they're finding it fun. Kids will push you out of your comfort zones without fail. Don't know if i could do it every day, though.

i understand the problems facing parents in paying for these things. i was actually a tutor in a low income area for just that reason. i was convinced some of these kids just needed a little one-on-one time in order to succeed. i charged $15 an hour, $20 for 90 minutes, including the summer i after i got my degree, when the going rate for tutoring teachers is $40 an hour. Heck, i made so little that most of it went right back into supplies. the only reason i didn't do it for free was that i was taking hours from my job to do this and i wanted the parents to take it seriously. There were parents who would have happily signed up and taken their kid when they felt like it if it was free. i had one family that i only stayed with for a year because they paid whenever they felt like it. Every second week, every third week, every session... And they got me kicked out of the school i was working in because they were coming in during school hours, when i was volunteering, saying they had to pay me. Thank God there was a library right around the corner that not only welcomed me, they once cancelled charges when an audio tape snapped because they saw how hard i worked with the kids for so little. Told me i worked to hard for the money to spend it on that.

My mum had a kid who was at a Grade One level in a Grade Four class. They decided to place him in Grade Five as long as he started to get tutoring in Grade Four, and the mum asked if i tutored. i said i'd try and that's how it all began. i tutored him three times a week, then twice, then once a week, for three and a half years. i started him with Grade One work and we worked from there. It was truly magical to see him blossom. He was a closed in child because he felt incapable and stupid, and as he began to understand he changed, started to interact, have friends, smile...it was amazing! i have a snow globe that he gave me for Valentine's Day one year. It says, "An angel sent you to me." It is a treasured possession.

What am i trying to say with this long winded story? i guess i'm just trying to say that when the conventional routes don't work, you can sometimes find unconventional routes to the same ends. i think i was a better tutor than many, because i was there because i cared. i'd still be one if i had the energy, but with a class of little darlings to worry about, i don't. i don't even get a lunch break some days as it is, what with keeping kids in to get them to understand.

There are people out there who are willing to help because they are idealists and are doing their part to make the world better. If you keep an eye out, one will often come around the corner when you least expect it. Sounds like you are one, graceanne. Red Sonja, i reread my post and realized that it sounded - hmm. not positive, shall we say? i didn't mean it the way it read. i admire you for your dedication to getting what your son needs and determination in putting things through.

graceanne, Masons are almost everywhere, though i don't know if they all tutor. Try the Scottish Rite, the Masons, and the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry in the local phone book. If not, the internet may have some information. So might the school - they often know of low cost alternatives, but often won't tell you unless you ask. Finally, universities in the area often have programs, again for graduate students, or new therapies they want to try. They're always looking for volunteers for this or that. don't forget you doctor can also be a resource.

i hope this all makes sense, i have a migraine and have had it all day, even before the pressure dropped, according to the weather channel. i don't know what the heck's going on.

Please excuse any wacky spelling and capitalization.

 

[brioche]

i'd also just like to add MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS!

This rainy spell is really starting to get to me. We haven't had a week without rain in over a month.

 

[Red Sonja]

i'd also just like to add MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS!

This rainy spell is really starting to get to me. We haven't had a week without rain in over a month.

Hey, how's your head feeling? I always have an attack of the blues this time of year. Less sunlight, the fall rain... and now with hubby and the bronchitis... ARGH!

I need an attitude adjustment.

 

[Red Sonja]

graceanne,

here's the website... but I can't guarantee with my computer naivete that it will actually link you directly to the site. Hopefully it will, but if not... cut and paste into your browser.

http://www.srmason-sj.org/council/temple/booklet/cldp.htm

 

[brioche]

Hey, how's your head feeling? I always have an attack of the blues this time of year. Less sunlight, the fall rain... and now with hubby and the bronchitis... ARGH!

I need an attitude adjustment.

Well, it was only a little sore today, but there's a thunderstorm scheduled for tomorrow. i have 5 kids to do reading assessments on and 2 more to continue assessments on and the results are due Friday. Also, an interview with a parent i just reported to the CAS for suspicion of emotional abuse (which hopefully hasn't been processed yet) and a job interview. So i'm kind of planning on the migraine, since i'll get it one way or another, you know? Doesn't make it hurt any less though.

Bronchitis huh? That truly sucks. i haven't had it since i was a kid - i coughed so much i pulled my stomach muscles. My sister got it every winter for about 4 years. i used to sneak into her room and leave flat ginger ale on her desk even though she insisted she didn't need anything. She'd wake up, be happy it was there and drink it, and go back to sleep, and i'd refill it. She was mildly confused at how it always stayed full but happy.

i mentioned it a couple of years ago and she told me about the confusion, and the happies.

Hang in there, at least the rain will stop soon. i got a sunlight lamp and am looking forward to trying it.

 

[graceanne]

I HATE DRIVING, AND I HATE OTHER DRIVERS. IF IT WEREN'T FOR NEEDING TO GET A TO AND FROM SCHOOL I'D TELL THE DMV TO TAKE THIS LICENSE AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR ASS!

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programing.

 

[DVS]

I HATE DRIVING, AND I HATE OTHER DRIVERS. IF IT WEREN'T FOR NEEDING TO GET A TO AND FROM SCHOOL I'D TELL THE DMV TO TAKE THIS LICENSE AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR ASS!

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programing.

Well, I agree with you, on some of your post. I have some drivers. Some have no respect for the other driver (me) at all, and that can get someone hurt.

Today, on the way to work, I came upon one driver that was driving so slow, he almost caused several accidents, because people had to swerve to keep from hitting him. There is no minimum on that particular street, but it's dangerous to not stay way to the right, if you can't keep up with the flow of traffic.

Just about to my turn (I was in the left lane, and going to turn in about 100 feet), some car pulls out in front of me from the right, pulls across one lane and into my lane. He didn't have enough room to do this, so I had to pull over to the right lane (the lane he should have pulled out into in the first place) to miss running into the back of his car.. No signal or anything...he just pulled out like there was nobody else on the road but him.

On the way home from work, several of us had to wait at one stop likght to change green so we could turn right. Why? The guy at the front of the line didn't want to wait his turn in the "go straight" laine, so he pulled over into the right hand turn lane and waited for the light to change to green. Then, he speeded ahead of the other cars, so he could be first down the road. Just another of those "I'm more important than you" kind of people.

Later on the way home, I saw yet another person turn LEFT from the right lane. He had room, but didn't even attempt to move to the left hand lane before he turned. He did use his turn signal, which is so uncommon, these days, but he had the time and the space to pull to the left lane, too and didn't. Not only unsafe, but also illegal.

Always, on a four lane street, the left lane is for faster traffic. Why is it that there's alway some slower driver in that lane that just wants to go at the same speed as the car that's in the lane beside him? That is so stupid. Both lanes are then going the same speed, and nobody can get past either of them.

The person in the right lane is OK, and in the correct lane for going the speed he is in, but the idiot in the left lane must either be in a world all his own not to see the line of cars behind him, or in some sort of power hungry mood where he loves making all of those people go as slow as he is, just for the fun of it.

I could go on and on. Stupid drivers are all over the place. I might start another thread.

 

[graceanne]

It's not the idiots that piss me off - they can't help themselves. It's the assholes. The one's who won't let me switch lanes, or turn, or whatever. It's not stupidity, it's flat out RUDENESS.

 

[FurryFury]

I hate cheep plastic parts on a so called "reliable" car that break off in my hand when I have done nothing more than manipulate them the way they were made to be used.

In this case a door handle.

*GRR*

Fury