The big 'O' poll

[NoJo]

There's obviously more to sex than orgasms:

So, how important is it really? To men? women? My guess is... well, we'll see...

 

[English Lady]

Orgasms are fantastic, but not the end all and be all of sex. When I am not so determined to come I really can concerntrate on my lovers needs, and i do love to make my husband REALLY come!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm multi-orgasmic, so I get disappointed if I don't come at least 4 times.

Sex is a great way of feeling intimacy with your loved one, but it's also about great sexual tension building up, demanding a release.

I feel sort of cheated without it.

 

[pop_54]

Hi

I've had great sex without an orgasm, I've also had great orgasms without sex, usually starching the underpants when a lot younger.

I know a lot of ladies claim this never happens but I have elevated many a young lady to twitching and crying out with just the fingers and large amounts of foreplay when full sex wasn't possible, ie: in a public place, Cinema etc.
I love to play with a woman and her lovely body just as much as sticking the old pork sword in there sometimes.

pops...............

 

[Chicklet]

lol

great poll

i chose the one about sleeping 5 seconds later, cause, well, i do. have to make it last BEFORE the "big O"

Chicklet

 

[Pookie]

Great sex isn't about orgasms, IMO. It's about intimacy. I have had very satisfying sex without an orgasm. Sometimes all I want is the intimacy ... the holding, the touching, etc.

I think it is different for men. Men seem to need that orgasm or they do feel cheated. Fortunately it's not that difficult to give a man an orgasm.

Sometimes I'm satisfied that I made my man feel great and that he returned the attention, even if I don't have an orgasm.

 

[Un-registered]

The poll confused me. Does it mean your own orgasm or your sexual partner's? For me, I vastly prefer my partner to have an orgasm; if she does not achieve one I feel somehow a failure.

Fortunately it's not that difficult to give a man an orgasm

Oh, the optimism of youth! WYGTMA it isn't so easy; actually it is hardly possible.

 

[Pookie]

Oh, the optimism of youth! WYGTMA it isn't so easy; actually it is hardly possible.

Okay ... I will qualify that ... It hasn't been difficult to give the men I have been with and orgasm ... especially when they wanted one too. But I will admit that my experiences have an age bias.

Maybe I should correct this age bias of mine sometime soon.

Pookie

 

[Octavian]

Pookie

Love the sig!

Octavian

 

[Pookie]

Octavian

Thanks, sweetie. I have many more metaphors like that. They are from student essays. Another I like is ...

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef."

Would you want me to grow on you like that? Maybe it would help me correct my age bias too?

Pookie

 

[Just-Legal]

Orgasm... Hmm. Personally I can take it or leave it during sex. And sometimes we don't want full penetration and it's mutual masturbation.

I think it, like evrything else, is a personal choice

Oh, and Pookie:

Metaphorically speaking ... "Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

They'd take a while to meet each other then... York's at the top, Peterborough's near the bottom

Ahh, good ol British Rail.

Actually, thats fast for freight trains. Prolly passenger trains. Speed restrictions and all...

I'll go now...

((Its still a funny sig tho ))

 

[English Lady]

I am multi orgasmic, sometimes i loose count of how many times I come*L* Its not the be all and end all though. I find the satisfaction of my partner to be the most satisfying thing to come from sex!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Samantha Jones, SATC:

I may have to polish myself off once in a while, but when I RSV to a party, I make it my business to come.

 

[SexyChele]

I am multi-orgasmic, but it takes a very, very long time for me to achieve that first orgasm. After that, subsequent orgasms happen very quickly. For me, I am perfectly content and do enjoy sex without having acheived orgasm. If I demanded that of my partner every time, the poor guy would be worn out! However, if my partner does not have an orgasm, I am usually more disappointed than he is. And greatly so.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I've been with a guy who almost never came when we had sex. He made me come until my head started to spin, and I had to ask him to please stop, but he himself just couldn't come. I was very puzzled and a bit disappointed, as I love to see a guy's face when he comes - the happiness, the relief, the torture! - but he explained that he almost never came during sex, only when he masturbated. I felt a bit guilty, as I seemed to be the one getting the most out of our love making, but he chuckled when I said that, and reassured me that no matter how many orgasms I got, he thought he was the one getting most out of sex, not only because it felt so good to be inside me, but also because he got to see my face when I came over and over again...

A man who prefers to see a woman come rather than coming himself.

Fancy that.

How many Thursdays ARE there in one week, really?

 

[NoJo]

The poll confused me. Does it mean your own orgasm or your sexual partner's? For me, I vastly prefer my partner to have an orgasm; if she does not achieve one I feel somehow a failure.

I meant one's own. I have to say, un-registered, I am similar to you here: I'm a "ladies first" kind of guy, too. But I definitley get pretty antsy if I don't come during (or after) sex. Not coming is worse than a double espresso last thing at night for me.

But I don't really consider it a major part of sex. Often so-called "foreplay" is sex.

I voted the first option, without really thinking.
The poll results after 18 votes is overall what I expected: Orgasms, in general, seem to be slightly more important to men. Is that because we're more selfish? Or is it just a physical thing?

Joe

 

[MathGirl]

Poor me!

Huh. There I am as the only vote in the category I selected. Oh, well, I always knew I was different. John says I have a "hair trigger."

 

[gauchecritic]

The poll results after 18 votes is overall what I expected: Orgasms, in general, seem to be slightly more important to men. Is that because we're more selfish? Or is it just a physical thing?

Joe

I think it IS a physical thing for blokes Joe. I can remember in my early years of experimentation having painful balls because of the anticipation, therefore sperm production, and consequent need for ejaculation, nearly always involving orgasm.

These days I don't get 'worked up' quite so quickly and have always been a 'ladies first' kind of guy.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

Have to respond on this one! LOL

I like a nice hard orgasm...same as the next guy. BUT! Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just old fashioned, sentimental. But I get perhaps more pleasure in "pleasuring" my partner.

For me....hearing her excitement, her joy...(however many times I can manage it) is the penultimate for me, with or without the slef-fullfilling climax.

But I'll take this one step further. When she's recuperated (lol) and then is in a reciprocal mood to "truly' want to pleasure me, then....when I know she'd enjoying herself as much as I was when making her feel good...then, and only then do I truly enjoy my orgasm when it happens. Why? Because she's enjoying it with me. It's still not a selfish moment, not merely an act of gratification. As I have shared that moment with her, so has she now shared it with me.

Sure......we all enjoy and strive for the big "O". But it's how you get there that makes it memorable, truly satisfying.

I remain,

 

[SlickTony]

I was very puzzled and a bit disappointed, as I love to see a guy's face when he comes - the happiness, the relief, the torture! - but he explained that he almost never came during sex, only when he masturbated.

Spending much time with a guy like that would eventually give me a complex. Even though I went through a period of being like that myself. I first heard that thing about how sex could be perfectly satisfying for a woman without her getting an orgasm. I was married to the Egg Timer at the time, and figured this had to be a bill of goods sold to women so that the guy could roll over and go to sleep once he'd gotten his.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I voted the first option, without really thinking.
The poll results after 18 votes is overall what I expected: Orgasms, in general, seem to be slightly more important to men. Is that because we're more selfish? Or is it just a physical thing?

Joe

I think it's because women are brought up to be romantic and mushy, whereas men are brought up to be tough and crude.

If we could go half way, we might actually develop into Humans.

 

[English Lady]

You put it really well sandman, i totally agree. An orgasm is the icing on the cake so to speak!

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

I didn't post in the 'fall asleep afterwards' category but maybe I should have... that's why sex to me is more about pleasuring my partner than having an orgasm.

But to me pleasuring my partner is about building up the tension in her until she demands release, then pushing her a bit further still before giving her that release. I think in that sense if I didn't let her have an orgasm perhaps the sex would be unfulfilling for her..?

It's only when I think I've done my best that I actually go for it myself

To be honest I've had sex that's lasted for some time and not had an orgasm because we've simply ran out of time / energy. And, yes, it was satisfying at the time, but for some reason leaves me feeling edgy afterwards...

ax

 

[MathGirl]

Men!!

Of course most men say they place more emphasis on and derive greater pleasure from the woman's enjoyment and satisfaction.

Did anyone ever consider that it's a male control thing? Of course it is. Not that I don't like it............

 

[NoJo]

Re: Men!!

Of course most men say they place more emphasis on and derive greater pleasure from the woman's enjoyment and satisfaction.

Did anyone ever consider that it's a male control thing? Of course it is. Not that I don't like it............

Smart point, Mathematical Girl, and I think, more than a little true sometimes... "I made you have an orgasm..."

But then you have to be careful with the argument, or you might get into "isn't being generous really just being self-centered, because when you're generous to someone they're in your debt..."


it hurts Jack
to think
that Jill thinks he is hurting her
by (him) being hurt
to think
that she thinks he is hurting her
by making her feel guilty
at hurting him
by (her) thinking
that he is hurting her
by (his) being hurt
to think
that she thinks he is hurting her
by the fact that

da capo sine fine

R. D. Laing: Knots