The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a very angry Eagle looking for it.




I put in a new bale arm

and you pick up 70 lbs of hay with one hand.

I put in a new bailer...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you pick up 70 lbs of hay with one hand.

I put in a new bailer...

but the Tractor is broken.




I put in a new Tractor tyre.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the Tractor is broken.




I put in a new Tractor tyre.

and Johnny Deere gets all tyred out installing it.

I put in a pneu-matic tire...

 

[stickygirl]

and Johnny Deere gets all tyred out installing it.

I put in a pneu-matic tire...

and you felt suddenly deflated

I put in a soft hand and a wet kiss

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you felt suddenly deflated

I put in a soft hand and a wet kiss

and you would have been welcomed into a room in Manchester.

I put in a pint at the Lass o' Gormley...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you would have been welcomed into a room in Manchester.

I put in a pint at the Lass o' Gormley...

but she's gormless.


I put in a pint of Boddingtons

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but she's gormless.


I put in a pint of Boddingtons

but it's flat.

I put in a seltzer bottle...

 

[desertslave]

but it's flat.

I put in a seltzer bottle...

And get a misfire of whipped cream

I put in a cherry pie

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And get a misfire of whipped cream

I put in a cherry pie

and you get a dollop of whipped cream.

I put in a pint of fresh-picked huckleberries...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a dollop of whipped cream.

I put in a pint of fresh-picked huckleberries...

There's a Finn in the middle.



I put in a Sawyer.

 

[drteetho]

There's a Finn in the middle.



I put in a Sawyer.

But his mind is not for rent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLjOpx3ORbw

I put in a modern day warrior...

 

[Handley_Page]

But his mind is not for rent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLjOpx3ORbw

I put in a modern day warrior...

frightened half to death in sandy places for no real reason.
[sorry]


I put in an M26 rifle thing

 

[Tio_Narratore]

frightened half to death in sandy places for no real reason.
[sorry]


I put in an M26 rifle thing

and you don't know which end is which.

I put in a neatly severed toe with slight powder burns around the edges...

 

[stickygirl]

and you don't know which end is which.

I put in a neatly severed toe with slight powder burns around the edges...

and you get back a knuckle duster


I put in a karate chop

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get back a knuckle duster


I put in a karate chop

and it gets basted with Jack Daniels' special No. 7 sauce before being slow grilled.

I put in a pulled pork sandwich...

Hello again, Jane...

 

[stickygirl]

and it gets basted with Jack Daniels' special No. 7 sauce before being slow grilled.

I put in a pulled pork sandwich...

Hello again, Jane...

and you get sweet and sour balls

I put in four and twenty blackbirds

*deep curtsey*

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get sweet and sour balls

I put in four and twenty blackbirds

*deep curtsey*

and get a mouth full of feathers for dessert.

I put in a feather boa...

(you're so cute when you do that, Jane. )

 

[stickygirl]

and get a mouth full of feathers for dessert.

I put in a feather boa...

(you're so cute when you do that, Jane. )

and you get strangled by the constrictor

I put in a trouser snake

I know your buttons

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get strangled by the constrictor

I put in a trouser snake

I know your buttons

and you get your drain reamed.

I put in a Roto-Rooter...

 

[stickygirl]

and you get your drain reamed.

I put in a Roto-Rooter...

and you get a Tuttie-Fruity

I put in a some glace cherries

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a Tuttie-Fruity

I put in a some glace cherries

and you get a visit to Margaret's Museum.

I put in a Halifax pub crawl...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a visit to Margaret's Museum.

I put in a Halifax pub crawl...

All is well until you try to get to South Owram; the road is quite steep.




I put in a road roller

 

[Tio_Narratore]

All is well until you try to get to South Owram; the road is quite steep.




I put in a road roller

and your road is still rocky.

I put in a roller coaster...

 

[stickygirl]

and your road is still rocky.

I put in a roller coaster...

and the life boat comes to your rescue

I put in a distress flare

 

[Handley_Page]

and the life boat comes to your rescue

I put in a distress flare

but it's wet.



I put in a search radar