The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[NekoParks]

who's occupants live in blissful ignorance of the internet and telephones.




I put in a giant cooking pot.

and Hansel and Gretel are served al dente.

I put in sprig of green...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and Hansel and Gretel are served al dente.

I put in sprig of green...

and it infuses the whole landscape.

I put in the first narcissus of the season...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and it infuses the whole landscape.

I put in the first narcissus of the season...

And you almost get stung by the first hornet of spring.


I put in my 2 cents.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you almost get stung by the first hornet of spring.


I put in my 2 cents.

but the tax-man wants his share.


I put in a £9 note

 

[Saxon_Hart]

but the tax-man wants his share.


I put in a £9 note

But it comes up three pounds short.


I put in an ounce of courage.

 

[Handley_Page]

But it comes up three pounds short.


I put in an ounce of courage.

but you get a ton of despair



I put in a all-male Hero

 

[SwitchMami]

but you get a ton of despair



I put in a all-male Hero

and you get blind-sided by the screaming female fans

I put in a championship wrestling belt...

 

[NekoParks]

but you get a ton of despair



I put in a all-male Hero

And Wonder Woman saves him from his macho assumptions...

I put in a clichéd trope...

 

[Handley_Page]

And Wonder Woman saves him from his macho assumptions...

I put in a clichéd trope...

It's eaten by a passing Style Guide.



I put in a laser cannon

 

[Tio_Narratore]

It's eaten by a passing Style Guide.



I put in a laser cannon

and it prints the Great Books of the Western Tradition.

I put in a Canon 60D...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it prints the Great Books of the Western Tradition.

I put in a Canon 60D...

and you get a kodak 'pocket'



I put in a spare button

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a kodak 'pocket'



I put in a spare button

and you're knighted for your contribution to automotive technology.

I put in a pill of belly button lint...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you're knighted for your contribution to automotive technology.

I put in a pill of belly button lint...

but the instructions say "lint free dressing".



I put a suitable dress

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but the instructions say "lint free dressing".



I put a suitable dress

And you look smashing with the matching linen sportscoat over your summer dress.

I put in one of Hillary's pantsuits...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

And you look smashing with the matching linen sportscoat over your summer dress.

I put in one of Hillary's pantsuits...

But it has been torn by her 18 inch strap on.


I put in Bill's cigar.

 

[Handley_Page]

But it has been torn by her 18 inch strap on.


I put in Bill's cigar.

but there's no lighter.



I put in a soggy match

 

[NekoParks]

but there's no lighter.



I put in a soggy match

but you can't start a fire without a spark, so you're just dancing in the dark...

I put in a Limp Bizkit song...

 

[Handley_Page]

but you can't start a fire without a spark, so you're just dancing in the dark...

I put in a Limp Bizkit song...

and it is flushed down the lavatory of junk with all the other talent-free so-called music.
[sorry. I ain't a rap crap fan]


I put in some real music

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and it is flushed down the lavatory of junk with all the other talent-free so-called music.
[sorry. I ain't a rap crap fan]


I put in some real music

and the London Philharmonic packs into your sitting room.

I put in barely enough room to swing a cat...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the London Philharmonic packs into your sitting room.

I put in barely enough room to swing a cat...

and all nine tales are tied.


I put in a wooden box

 

[Saxon_Hart]

and all nine tales are tied.


I put in a wooden box

But Pinochio says it isn't tight enough.

I put in a crystal goblet.

 

[Handley_Page]

But Pinochio says it isn't tight enough.

I put in a crystal goblet.

but it resonates at a discordant note



I put in a coffee mug

 

[Saxon_Hart]

but it resonates at a discordant note



I put in a coffee mug

But the folk are screaming for tea.


I put in a porcelain carafe.

 

[Handley_Page]

But the folk are screaming for tea.


I put in a porcelain carafe.

but the wine leaches out



I put in a space-ship

 

[Noor]

but the wine leaches out



I put in a space-ship

and you get a satellite

I put in 50 feet of coaxial cable.