The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and, someone creates one in baby blue to match your eyes.

I put in a good home cooked meal well processed.

and digestion hurts like hell.

I put in a box of pain-killers

 

[hellguy]

and, someone creates one in baby blue to match your eyes.

I put in a good home cooked meal well processed.

and digestion hurts like hell.

I put in a box of pain-killers

And you are feeling good

I put in the blue ones to go with the painkillers.

 

[kimbalee]

And you are feeling good

I put in the blue ones to go with the painkillers.

and you get the blue ones back with a not that says, "Finders, Keepers."

I put in a bucket of fresh snow...

 

[hellguy]

and you get the blue ones back with a not that says, "Finders, Keepers."

I put in a bucket of fresh snow...

And you get back a recipe for snow cream.

I put in a book titled, "101 Naughty Things to do to a Snowman"

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back a recipe for snow cream.

I put in a book titled, "101 Naughty Things to do to a Snowman"

and you get a snowman with the bottom snowball containing decorations of two kiwi and a carrot, artfully arranged.

I put in a book on Kama Sutra, with slightly dog-eared pages...

 

[hellguy]

and you get a snowman with the bottom snowball containing decorations of two kiwi and a carrot, artfully arranged.

I put in a book on Kama Sutra, with slightly dog-eared pages...

And you get back the video demonstration of those two pages.

I put in a box of viagra.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back the video demonstration of those two pages.

I put in a box of viagra.

and you get a returned box as I don't have the plumbing for it.

I put in a request for further demos of pages 12-14, 38-42, and 51-78...

 

[hellguy]

and you get a returned box as I don't have the plumbing for it.

I put in a request for further demos of pages 12-14, 38-42, and 51-78...

And I am glad I got the box back.

You get back a first class ticket to where I am.

I put in the extra batteries for the video camera.

 

[kimbalee]

And I am glad I got the box back.

You get back a first class ticket to where I am.

I put in the extra batteries for the video camera.

and you get a big disappointment when you realize you forgot to hit the "record" button.

I put in a condolence prize of a lifetime supply of Kleenex...

 

[hellguy]

and you get a big disappointment when you realize you forgot to hit the "record" button.

I put in a condolence prize of a lifetime supply of Kleenex...

And you get the soft tissue ran gently up and down your thighs.

I put in the soft music and candles

 

[kimbalee]

And you get the soft tissue ran gently up and down your thighs.

I put in the soft music and candles

and you get a question asking just what soft tissues you were using?

I put in a fire extinguisher in case things get too heated.

 

[hellguy]

and you get a question asking just what soft tissues you were using?

I put in a fire extinguisher in case things get too heated.

And you get back a bottle of massage oil to help work out those tight spots.

And I put in the map of your erogenous zones.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back a bottle of massage oil to help work out those tight spots.

And I put in the map of your erogenous zones.

and you get the map back with "yes, uh huh, yeah, that looks right" penciled in on the interesting spots.

I put in a nice hot bath...

 

[hellguy]

and you get the map back with "yes, uh huh, yeah, that looks right" penciled in on the interesting spots.

I put in a nice hot bath...

And yo get back a man willing to "scrub" you clean.

I put in the bubble bath.

 

[kimbalee]

And yo get back a man willing to "scrub" you clean.

I put in the bubble bath.

and you get an invitation to hop on in.

I put in some fluffy towels...

 

[hellguy]

and you get an invitation to hop on in.

I put in some fluffy towels...

and you get back a special poof just for "those" areas.

I put in the glow sticks to make the bath more colorful.

 

[kimbalee]

and you get back a special poof just for "those" areas.

I put in the glow sticks to make the bath more colorful.

and you get a big smile for your troubles.

I put in the Kama Sutra videos, to use for um... reference...

 

[hellguy]

and you get a big smile for your troubles.

I put in the Kama Sutra videos, to use for um... reference...

And you get a real life reinactment.

I put in the fluffy new pillows for the bed.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get a real life reinactment.

I put in the fluffy new pillows for the bed.

and you get matching sheets.

I put in a spare set...

 

[hellguy]

and you get matching sheets.

I put in a spare set...

And you get back a coupon for a free maid service to help change the sheets.

I put in a DVD of Gone with the Wind.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back a coupon for a free maid service to help change the sheets.

I put in a DVD of Gone with the Wind.

and you get talking the whole way thru the movie...

I put in an attempt to keep my mouth shut.

 

[hellguy]

and you get talking the whole way thru the movie...

I put in an attempt to keep my mouth shut.

And you get a special reward for the effort, something to help you.

I put in the pictures I took earlier.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get a special reward for the effort, something to help you.

I put in the pictures I took earlier.

and you get a surprised look on my face. what pictures?

I put in a roaring fire to dispose of the pics, if needed...

 

[hellguy]

and you get a surprised look on my face. what pictures?

I put in a roaring fire to dispose of the pics, if needed...

And you get back a warning from the fire marshal about those bonfires.


I also put in the negatives to the pictures.

 

[kimbalee]

And you get back a warning from the fire marshal about those bonfires.


I also put in the negatives to the pictures.

you get some help carrying them over to the blaze.

I put in a nice cold drink after all of that work...