The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a little gift for 'Grandparents Day.'

I put in a cosmo and a couch...

and, you get a very happy Granny.

I put in a pair of granny glasses.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you get a very happy Granny.

I put in a pair of granny glasses.

and they're both filled with gin.

I put in a breath of vermouth...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and they're both filled with gin.

I put in a breath of vermouth...

and the taste lingers on my lips.

I put in a couple of olives.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the taste lingers on my lips.

I put in a couple of olives.

and the martini is declared a health food.

I put in a couple of bottles of tequila...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the martini is declared a health food.

I put in a couple of bottles of tequila...

and, I'm looking for the giant worm.

I put in a fishing pole.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I'm looking for the giant worm.

I put in a fishing pole.

and you catch a horny merman.

I put in a deserted little cove...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you catch a horny merman.

I put in a deserted little cove...

who's not happy that the 'Bus left without him.


I put in a spare tyre for the 'bus.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

who's not happy that the 'Bus left without him.


I put in a spare tyre for the 'bus.

and, the fifth wheel has room for a party.

I put in a light in the window.

 

[kimbalee]

and, the fifth wheel has room for a party.

I put in a light in the window.

and you get a citation for the red light when it draws a lot of traffic to your doorstep. (bad girl!)

I put in a container of arborio rice...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a citation for the red light when it draws a lot of traffic to your doorstep. (bad girl!)

I put in a container of arborio rice...

and it plants quite easily in the flooded part of the garden


I put in some organic fertiliser.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and it plants quite easily in the flooded part of the garden


I put in some organic fertiliser.

and you get very aromatic tomatoes.

I put in a fertilizing organ...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get very aromatic tomatoes.

I put in a fertilizing organ...

and, you get a new avatar with bells on it.

I put in a pair of holiday boots.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you get a new avatar with bells on it.

I put in a pair of holiday boots.

and you get quite a kick out your holiday.

I put in a brass boot jack...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get quite a kick out your holiday.

I put in a brass boot jack...

and, you decide to undress me with your eyes instead.

I put in a pair of binoculars.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you decide to undress me with your eyes instead.

I put in a pair of binoculars.

and all your admirers worship you from afar.

I put in a 75-300mm image-stabilized ultrasonic lens...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and all your admirers worship you from afar.

I put in a 75-300mm image-stabilized ultrasonic lens...

and, I can see clearly from here to Timbukto.

I put in a short string.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I can see clearly from here to Timbukto.

I put in a short string.

and it's knotted around your finger so you won't forget.

I put in a sweet memory...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it's knotted around your finger so you won't forget.

I put in a sweet memory...

and, I'm reliving the taste in my mouth.

I put in a tangy tart.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I'm reliving the taste in my mouth.

I put in a tangy tart.

and you get asked for her phone number.

I put in a suggestive sonnet...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get asked for her phone number.

I put in a suggestive sonnet...

and the Bard's spinning at high speed.


I put in a water filter

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Bard's spinning at high speed.


I put in a water filter

and, you get a shot of pure scotch to go with it.

I put in some English ivy.

 

[Zom_Dom]

and, you get a shot of pure scotch to go with it.

I put in some English ivy.

And Ivy comes asking for a spot of tea and some crips if we've got any.

I put in a pair of tumbling dice.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And Ivy comes asking for a spot of tea and some crips if we've got any.

I put in a pair of tumbling dice.

and, I'll meet you at the casino and add a for good luck.


I put in a side bet for something black.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I'll meet you at the casino and add a for good luck.


I put in a side bet for something black.

and the ball stops on the red stilettos.

I put in a one-armed bandit...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the ball stops on the red stilettos.

I put in a one-armed bandit...

and, he robs me of my virginity.

I put in a slot.