The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

and it transforms into a personal massager.

I put in a personal massage...

and, you get a personal check in return.

I put in a handwritten thank you note.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you get a personal check in return.

I put in a handwritten thank you note.

and I hold your hand to read it.

I put in an erotic haiku, brushed onto your naked breast...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and I hold your hand to read it.

I put in an erotic haiku, brushed onto your naked breast...

and, I thought you said aachoo and hand you a tissue.

I put in a bed of roses.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I thought you said aachoo and hand you a tissue.

I put in a bed of roses.

and the thorns whet your appetite for a bit of S&M.

I put in a cat-o'-nine-tails...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the thorns whet your appetite for a bit of S&M.

I put in a cat-o'-nine-tails...

and, you find that it's old and gone to seed and now it's just blowing in the wind.

I put in a candy bar made by Peter and Paul.

 

[Austin8]

and, you find that it's old and gone to seed and now it's just blowing in the wind.

I put in a candy bar made by Peter and Paul.

and sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you dont

I put in a Zone Bar

 

[Handley_Page]

and sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't

I put in a Zone Bar

and that's where Mary was hiding.


I put in a video lesson on Kibuki

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and that's where Mary was hiding.


I put in a video lesson on Kibuki

and none of the women on Lit want to try it.

I put in a 12-lesson DVD Belly Dancing course...

 

[Handley_Page]

and none of the women on Lit want to try it.

I put in a 12-lesson DVD Belly Dancing course...

and there's queue round the corner for it.


I put in a dead LED

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and there's queue round the corner for it.


I put in a dead LED

and you finally see the light.

I put in the end of the tunnel...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you finally see the light.

I put in the end of the tunnel...

and, you reach the wall.

I put in a train.

 

[Austin8]

and, you reach the wall.

I put in a train.

but it cant keep up

I put in an ultra-marathon

 

[Handley_Page]

but it cant keep up

I put in an ultra-marathon

and the candy gets stuck in your teeth


I put in a pint of good English beer

 

[Austin8]

and the candy gets stuck in your teeth


I put in a pint of good English beer

and your a sight for sore eyes

I put in a pair of Salomon running socks

 

[kimbalee]

and your a sight for sore eyes

I put in a pair of Salomon running socks

and you get back a two pack of work socks.

I put in some bison jerky...

 

[Austin8]

and you get back a two pack of work socks.

I put in some bison jerky...

mmm

and it's mighty tuff

I put in some pasta primavera

 

[kimbalee]

mmm

and it's mighty tuff

I put in some pasta primavera

and you get a dinner guest pulling up her chair.

I put in a request for dessert...

 

[ravi64]

and you get a dinner guest pulling up her chair.

I put in a request for dessert...

you get a spoonful of Souffle

i put in a quick grope

 

[Austin8]

you get a spoonful of Souffle

i put in a quick grope

and the young male alien replies, " Like my extra large testicles?"

I put in a slow-carb diet

 

[kimbalee]

and the young male alien replies, " Like my extra large testicles?"

I put in a slow-carb diet

blech! and you get no requests for seconds.

I put in a slow cooker and cook book...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

blech! and you get no requests for seconds.

I put in a slow cooker and cook book...

and you get plenty of pre-prandial hanky-panky time.

I put in a slow cook...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get plenty of pre-prandial hanky-panky time.

I put in a slow cook...

and, it takes her hours to make the Minute rice.

I put in an egg timer.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, it takes her hours to make the Minute rice.

I put in an egg timer.

and the couple finally get that baby they've been trying for.

I put in a 2 am feeding...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the couple finally get that baby they've been trying for.

I put in a 2 am feeding...

and, it reminds me of the middle of the night bathroom visits.

I put in a very cute smiling face.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, it reminds me of the middle of the night bathroom visits.

I put in a very cute smiling face.

and you get a little gift for 'Grandparents Day.'

I put in a cosmo and a couch...