The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Austin8]

and get quite a jolt when the belay is delayed.

I put in a double Carrick bend...

and get a monster munter

I put in a double fisherman

out for a while Tio, have a good day!

 

[Handley_Page]

and get a monster munter

I put in a double fisherman

out for a while Tio, have a good day!

Would they be 118 & 118 ? They could do with a long swim home.

I put in a pair of plimsoles.

 

[Austin8]

Would they be 118 & 118 ? They could do with a long swim home.

I put in a pair of plimsoles.

and the Liverpool Rubber company (Dunlop) resends your patent.

I put in a Mammut Glacier Half Rope, 8.3 mm x 30 m

 

[Noor]

and the Liverpool Rubber company (Dunlop) resends your patent.

I put in a Mammut Glacier Half Rope, 8.3 mm x 30 m

and you get a gold fish!

I put in an full spectrum lamp

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Liverpool Rubber company (Dunlop) resends your patent.

I put in a Mammut Glacier Half Rope, 8.3 mm x 30 m

and, I get out my Dad's micrometer to check your measurements.

I put in one of his taps that I have no use for.

Sorry, Noor. Didn't see you there.

and, you get a well lit paperback book.

I put in a Kindle.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I get out my Dad's micrometer to check your measurements.

I put in one of his taps that I have no use for.

Sorry, Noor. Didn't see you there.

and, you get a well lit paperback book.

I put in a Kindle.

and it sparks a fire within your loins.

I put in an unedited manuscript...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it sparks a fire within your loins.

I put in an unedited manuscript...

and, I show up with a sharp wit to help you edit it.

I put in a manual sharpener.

 

[Austin8]

and, I show up with a sharp wit to help you edit it.

I put in a manual sharpener.

but the thing is full of shavings!

I put in a .05 lead holder

 

[YoursSINSerely]

but the thing is full of shavings!

I put in a .05 lead holder

and, there's no lead in your pencil.

I put in a small vial.

 

[Austin8]

and, there's no lead in your pencil.

I put in a small vial.

oh my! I have plenty of lead in my pencil!

I put in a gift card from a sperm bank

 

[kimbalee]

oh my! I have plenty of lead in my pencil!

I put in a gift card from a sperm bank

and you get a kick in the pants for that one, mister.



and I am sure to re-gift the gift card, putting it back into the machine.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a kick in the pants for that one, mister.



and I am sure to re-gift the gift card, putting it back into the machine.

And, there's a waiting line at the ATM machine, now.

I put in a rather large gold coin.

 

[Zom_Dom]

And, there's a waiting line at the ATM machine, now.

I put in a rather large gold coin.

The gold turns out to be foil, which quickly falls away to reveal chocolate.

I put in some treasure chest, in case there are any other coins floating about.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

The gold turns out to be foil, which quickly falls away to reveal chocolate.

I put in some treasure chest, in case there are any other coins floating about.

And, you find out there are treasures in my chest.

I put in a plank.

 

[Zom_Dom]

And, you find out there are treasures in my chest.

I put in a plank.

And, you come to find out there's more than enough wood to go around.

I put in an entire basket full of other suggestive items, a banana, two ripe melons, a twig and berries, a candybar called Mounds...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And, you come to find out there's more than enough wood to go around.

I put in an entire basket full of other suggestive items, a banana, two ripe melons, a twig and berries, a candybar called Mounds...

And, it sounds like you have an idea for a new story in the Toys & Masturbation category.

I put in a can of whip cream.

 

[Zom_Dom]

And, it sounds like you have an idea for a new story in the Toys & Masturbation category.

I put in a can of whip cream.

(You never know, random ideas can lead to good stories )

And now you have everything needed to make a fantastic human sundae - nuts, whipped cream, hot fudge and even a cherry on top.

I put in a banana in case you decide to make it a split.

 

[xOxCherryxOx]

(You never know, random ideas can lead to good stories )

And now you have everything needed to make a fantastic human sundae - nuts, whipped cream, hot fudge and even a cherry on top.

I put in a banana in case you decide to make it a split.

Can I be the Cherry on the sundae?

And you get a banana covered in sweet creamy goodness.

I put in two spoons..

 

[FallingToFly]

And you get back a baby rattle

I put in a wartenberg wheel, clothespins and a suspicious looking pickle.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get back a baby rattle

I put in a wartenberg wheel, clothespins and a suspicious looking pickle.

which is fed to a suspicious person at the back gate.

I put in a plastic spoon.

 

[FallingToFly]

which is fed to a suspicious person at the back gate.

I put in a plastic spoon.

And get back a taste of peanut butter ice cream.

I put in James' cold feet!!!

 

[Handley_Page]

And get back a taste of peanut butter ice cream.

I put in James' cold feet!!!

which I leave firmly alone to warm up where they will.


I put in a hot water bottle

 

[Noor]

which I leave firmly alone to warm up where they will.


I put in a hot water bottle

and you get warm feet

I put in a steam engine

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get warm feet

I put in a steam engine

and you find yourself transfixed by the orgasmic explosion of stem with each cycle.

I put in a piston arm with a special molded silicone end...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you find yourself transfixed by the orgasmic explosion of stem with each cycle.

I put in a piston arm with a special moulded silicone end...

and it works to a rousing chorus of
"Round and round went the great big wheel,
In and out went to rod of steel"

http://www.csufresno.edu/folklore/drinkingsongs/mp3s/1950s/1956ca-bawdysongs-vol-6-bawdy-western-songs-%28LP%29/14-the-great-wheel.htm



I put in some suitable lubricant.