The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

and they quickly become your bffs.

I put in the Star of India..

 

[Austin8]

man, did it have to be signed with pig poop?



and you get a room deodorizer for your troubles.

I put in some diamonds from New York, Dah-link...

and you get a Texas / Philly cheese steak, thats not really a cheese steak but bologna and chez whiz on white bread.

I put in the Green Acres Theme Song and the alien machine groans

 

[kimbalee]

and you get a Texas / Philly cheese steak, thats not really a cheese steak but bologna and chez whiz on white bread.

I put in the Green Acres Theme Song and the alien machine groans

and you get a stern note: "I hate bologna! and turn that music off!"

I put in a bunch of balloons...

 

[Zom_Dom]

and you get a stern note: "I hate bologna! and turn that music off!"

I put in a bunch of balloons...

And the alien machine begins speaking in a high pitched, squeaky voice...

"We represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild..."

I put in a Rueben Sandwhich, in hopes the machine likes pastrami better than balogna...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a stern note: "I hate bologna! and turn that music off!"

I put in a bunch of balloons...

and you get alf and ralph

I put in a deed to a crappy run down house I got from Mr. Haney

(sorry guys slow tonight)

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get alf and ralph

I put in a deed to a crappy run down house I got from Mr. Haney

(sorry guys slow tonight)

and, you get 1,000 green acres to mow, Oliver.

I put in a train ticket to the Petticoat Junction.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, you get 1,000 green acres to mow, Oliver.

I put in a train ticket to the Petticoat Junction.

and the machine says "Petticoat Lane; yes. Junction: NO. returns the ticket.

I put in a ticket for Medicine Hat.

 

[Austin8]

and the machine says "Petticoat Lane; yes. Junction: NO. returns the ticket.

I put in a ticket for Medicine Hat.

and Fog Hat shows up

I put in a sign picture of Fred Ziffel

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:eTOki7l1yuavKM:http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm267/busdriver23/cast_fred.jpg

 

[Handley_Page]

and Fog Hat shows up

I put in a sign picture of Fred Ziffel

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:eTOki7l1yuavKM:http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm267/busdriver23/cast_fred.jpg

and the machine says: "who?"

I put in a return ticket to London

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the machine says: "who?"

I put in a return ticket to London

and, I wave goodbye to Peter and Paul as they leave on the jet plane.

I put in something funny for Mary.

 

[Austin8]

and, I wave goodbye to Peter and Paul as they leave on the jet plane.

I put in something funny for Mary.

and There's Something Strange about Mary

I put in some 25-8-3 Turf fertilizer

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and There's Something Strange about Mary

I put in some 25-8-3 Turf fertilizer

and, in only a week away from Earth Day, the greening of America begins in Texas.

I put in a sample pack of Miracle Gro.

 

[Austin8]

and, in only a week away from Earth Day, the greening of America begins in Texas.

I put in a sample pack of Miracle Gro.

and soon alien vines and unusual flowers are blooming, and consuming the break room

I put in a host of string trimmers and pruners to tame the jungle like fauna

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and soon alien vines and unusual flowers are blooming, and consuming the break room

I put in a host of string trimmers and pruners to tame the jungle like fauna

and, it ends up as a topiary masterpiece in the shape of an elephant with a very long trunk.

I put in a request for Mickey Mouse ears.

 

[Austin8]

and, it ends up as a topiary masterpiece in the shape of an elephant with a very long trunk.

I put in a request for Mickey Mouse ears.

oh my you sound like a customer of mine!

and I put in a National Trust video on topiary design and plant growth training

 

[YoursSINSerely]

oh my you sound like a customer of mine!

and I put in a National Trust video on topiary design and plant growth training

and, I reluctantly loan you my manicure scissors for the fine work.

I put in a sign designed by me: Welcome to Edward's Place.

 

[Austin8]

and, I reluctantly loan you my manicure scissors for the fine work.

I put in a sign designed by me: Welcome to Edward's Place.

and I present you with a bill that would rust ol Ed in his tracks!

i put in an invoice book

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and I present you with a bill that would rust ol Ed in his tracks!

i put in an invoice book

and, it may surprise you to know that I'm very pleased to pay you 69.69 for trimming my bush.

I put in a licked-stamp, self-addressed envelope.

 

[Austin8]

and, it may surprise you to know that I'm very pleased to pay you 69.69 for trimming my bush.

I put in a licked-stamp, self-addressed envelope.

and I hate to inform you that 69.69 only covers the first 30 mins.

I put in some overhead and gasoline reciepts

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and I hate to inform you that 69.69 only covers the first 30 mins.

I put in some overhead and gasoline reciepts

and, I take those to write off on my income tax for the business and schedule another 30-minute session for next week.

I put in pocket date book.

 

[Austin8]

and, I take those to write off on my income tax for the business and schedule another 30-minute session for next week.

I put in pocket date book.

and the only think in my pockets is a knife, a duck tape wallet, some cedar elm leaves and a quarter.

I put in a freshly sharpened high lift mower blade

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the only think in my pockets is a knife, a duck tape wallet, some cedar elm leaves and a quarter.

I put in a freshly sharpened high lift mower blade

and the Grim Reaper asks to borrow it.

I put in four horses in search of riders...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Grim Reaper asks to borrow it.

I put in four horses in search of riders...

and, I found one rider and a horse with no name.

I put in a set of stirrups.

 

[Austin8]

and, I found one rider and a horse with no name.

I put in a set of stirrups.

and you get a anvil

I put in a chart of the inner ear

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a anvil

I put in a chart of the inner ear

And, it's a little chart that makes me dizzy.

I put in a patch.