The ART of Losing

[tswyk]

I found this poem several months ago and have posted it here before. It seems to speak to me, on a deeply personal level. I think, in my life, I have become used to losing the things I hold dear - people, places, property. That doesn't mean it's easy, but maybe it's one of those things that you do get better at with practice.

What have you lost that was inportant to you?
How did you handle it?
Are you over it yet - will you EVER be over it?
Do you think we can actually MASTER "the art of losing"?

Discuss please!

t


One Art


The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it) like disaster.


"One Art," from The Complete Poems 1927-1979 ,
By Elizabeth Bishop

 

[ChesterChicLuvr]

That was beautiful.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Holy Bible - Lev 19:34 [But] the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I [am] the LORD your God.

____________________
This random Scripture is provided in the hopes that Hanns will just get his ignorant, white-trash ass the fuck out of here!



Another quality TrollBot from Ze Mad Zientist (TrollBot version 1.0 rev 43)

 

[A Desert Rose]

Losing is difficult. And losing gracefully is very difficult, especially when it involves people and emotions one once held dear and cherished deeply.

I try to be a graceful loser. I try to back away when the "game" is lost and smile and congratulate all around. I try to put on a face that says, "Way to go" but what is going on inside me is another story, altogether.

I hate to be bested by someone I know is not of the caliber that I am, especially in regards to ethics and core beliefs. It happens, however and I move on and out.

Learning to be graceful in the face of defeat is a lifetime battle.

 

[curious2c]

There is as much of an art at losing as there is at winning. I try to be neutral as much as possible, but there have been times when bam! I just couldn't help myself. I ususally recover nicely afterwards though.

 

[The Squid King]

I hate losing.

 

[sufisaint]

I have lost every person I ever loved...except family...

 

[The Squid King]

I have lost every person I ever loved...except family...

me too, but I alienated my family, also

 

[A Desert Rose]

I have lost every person I ever loved...except family...

Do you know why? How did you deal with it? May I ask those questions or are they out of bounds?

 

[sufisaint]

Lots of reasons but I guess i was not ready to truly love or choose people who were not. One died. Was heartbroken and after a year or so it faded to just memory..

 

[A Desert Rose]

Lots of reasons but I guess ...

Thank you and I wish you the best.

 

[tswyk]

I have lost every person I ever loved...except family...

But do you feel like the poem - that you actually LEARN to get used to losing???

 

[A Desert Rose]

But do you feel like the poem - that you actually LEARN to get used to losing???

I dont think you can ever get used to it, if you don't mind my opinion here. You can learn to accept a loss. But to accept losing, no. I don't think so.

 

[sufisaint]

People, things just come and go in your life...thats reality. All things pass...all things... but I do believe they just take other form. This is a world of sorrow and loss ultimately so deeply enjoy those thing in present., all is a gift from beyond.

 

[LukkyKnight]

But do you feel like the poem - that you actually LEARN to get used to losing???

Very cool poem, ts. Ponderable, and ponder-worthy, though I suspect it is a hard one for those not already fairly secure with themselves.

 

[sufisaint]

I have accepted losing just as I accept gain...but i always try to just keep my center through it. i have also lost my center at points in my life...when I was not even me...that is a living hell and no i cannot accept that condition.

 

[tswyk]

I find that I have methods for surviving losses. But sometimes those methods don't work.

Overall, tho, I think you do learn to COPE with loss - with losing - if you are a growing individual - one that continues to learn every day of your life.

t

 

[weed]

I thought about this one for a bit. I remember reading Bishop in school. I like her.

The poem speaks of accepting loss in the process of denying disaster. Kind of a funny twist thinking of denial as the first stage of grieving for most. Denial only serves a purpose for so long though. Sooner or later you've got to acknowledge any hurt or pain and accept it.

Then move on.

That's the art of losing.

 

[tswyk]

Excellent insight, Weed!

Thanks!


t

 

[erosman]

hey, sexy

I tend to avoid loss with a light grip on possessions. I mean I'm not a monk or anything, but I tend to expect the worst at times, to avoid the pain. When it comes to losing people, I figure that I don't really possess them, and whenever they are taken from me, I make a point of using the loss to frame my favorite mental images of them. In short, I replace the pain of loss with the happy memories...sort of a self-hypnosis.

For me, the art is choosing the upside of downturns.

 

[tswyk]

You are an impossibly happy person, aren't you???


'nite, my sweet!

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

I lost my youth a while ago
With it went my ready smile
But age and wisdom did bestow
A happy calm and graceful style

But love still stirs a passion deep
From age and calm it will not hide
And loss of love will make me weep
A nature of love we must abide


Hi Tis.

 

[tswyk]

Hello, LTGR!

Long time, no see! Thanks for your lovely contribution - you are always a welcome poster.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

You've been away. Working hard? I hope things have been going well for you.