The Art of Getting Lit Laid

[Hornymwtxn]

Your thread. Maybe decide if that is part of the tone you and Carmina want to set from the OP. I like that it is humorous and on point.

Link it so me and Carmina can read it and decide if providing that link in the OG is something that we would want to add

Thx

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Linked in my last post.

Awesome me and Carmina will take a look and see if it is something we would like on 1st post

Thanks!

 

[Carmina24]

It is a wonder to see this little thread unfolding, like lanterns lit along a winding path.
Each voice here a traveler’s candle, casting light not only on their own steps,
but on the way for those who walk beside them.

Wisdom gathers in these pages - not from lofty pedestals, but from kindred souls who have stumbled, risen, and chosen to share.
It is in these offerings that we glimpse the truth: that we are not alone in the hunger, the laughter, the ache, the longing.

So thank you, friends, for making this corner of Lit a place where truth bows to meet vulnerability, and where our journeys, however different, are gathered gently in the same light.

May it always remain so - a small sanctuary of warmth, candor, and grace.

 

[MedicalMuse]

MM

Love seeing you here I have missed you!
And omg your signature video on "genitals are not an acceptable conversation starter" should be mandatory viewing and posted in this thread's OP. Hilarious and accurate.

Hello my beautiful friend!
I love that video. It is such an inappropriate and timely piece of cinema.

 

[Susurration]

The video is really funny. It is also Olivia Coleman, who is a fantastic actor in my opinion, and knows exactly how to deliver the punch lines. On that basis it was always going to be excellent.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I loved her accent in the video! And it was very funny

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Think it is always best to create a line of communication to learn a little about the person first. I think people come to Lit looking for something sexual, many not sure what but just exploring. Is there an art?, not sure but always nice to make a connection.

Yes, I have met many many wonderful people via the forums on this site.

They make me laugh and feel alive every single day and I am always so very grateful that our paths have crossed.

Thanks for joining in on our thread!

 

[Carmina24]

Introducing: @Hornymwtxn

He’s no stranger here - my co-conspirator in fanning the flames of this very thread. But now, he steps into the Matchmaking Corner with a spark of his own.

He prefers the company of women (his words: “men are too easy to find” ), and he comes open-hearted, open-minded, ready to accept you as you are. He’s a man who listens deeply, a sympathetic ear who finds joy in making your day lighter, your night brighter.

Disciplined in body - exercise keeps him grounded (and yes, sometimes he does it naked… because why not make discipline a little daring?). Disciplined in words - he writes poetry that lingers, gentle lines that tug at the edges of your imagination.
Retired now, he has the rarest luxury of all - time. Time to listen, time to explore, time to give himself fully to whatever (or whoever) sparks his curiosity.

Easy-going, approachable, with a touch of mischief, he has led a steady life… but he’s also open to new adventures, new discoveries, and meaningful connections that make the heart race.

He’s not here for empty sparks. As the co-creator of this thread, he’s looking for something more - a connection that excites, intrigues, and deepens with every exchange. Something that feels like discovery, like finding a secret you never want to put down.

So, ladies… the Matchmaker has struck her first match. The question is - who will be bold enough to lean in and see where this flame could lead?

Perhaps you missed him the first time.
Perhaps my words slid by too quietly, too subtle for the rush of voices here. But I will not let him go unseen.

@Hornymwtxn is not a man who floods the room with noise. He is deliberate, steady, and sharp. He has no need for theatrics - his presence is enough. He is here not for fleeting sparks, but for one flame that lingers.

I’ve seen the wit behind his words, the kindness in his silence, the humor that slips in like a grin you don’t expect. He is the kind of man who doesn’t chase a hundred women - he waits for the one woman who can look at him and see what the rest missed.

So if you’ve been hesitating, this is your sign.
He is worth the message.
He is worth the risk.

- Carmina

 

[MrGoatee]

Perhaps you missed him the first time.
Perhaps my words slid by too quietly, too subtle for the rush of voices here. But I will not let him go unseen.

@Hornymwtxn is not a man who floods the room with noise. He is deliberate, steady, and sharp. He has no need for theatrics - his presence is enough. He is here not for fleeting sparks, but for one flame that lingers.

I’ve seen the wit behind his words, the kindness in his silence, the humor that slips in like a grin you don’t expect. He is the kind of man who doesn’t chase a hundred women - he waits for the one woman who can look at him and see what the rest missed.

So if you’ve been hesitating, this is your sign.
He is worth the message.
He is worth the risk.

- Carmina

An eloquent introduction - youre doing a great job

 

[Carmina24]

An eloquent introduction - youre doing a great job

That is kind of you to say so, thank you.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

So I think we should also mention failures as well as success.
Sometimes the best lessons come about from failure.

Advice 101:
When you call out another person's name during orgasm make sure the person you are interacting with actually has that name

 

[Mrtenant]

But......I like beast mode

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Beast Mode always works for me almost every time

 

[Hornymwtxn]

But......I like beast mode View attachment 2559599

I always just barked at the moon

 

[Carmina24]

But......I like beast mode View attachment 2559599

Lol No. 7 don't blow??

 

[Mrtenant]

Lol No. 7 don't blow??

I know I know....puts a real damper on my head game.

 

[Carmina24]

But......I like beast mode View attachment 2559599

@Mrtenant Please, o wise one, share more rules. What else do we need to know aside from No. 16 socks?

 

[Hornymwtxn]

@Mrtenant Please, o wise one, share more rules. What else do we need to know aside from No. 16 socks?

Sandals are ok though? Right?

Socks with sandals can work I suppose

 

[Carmina24]

Adding to @Mrtenant 's list:

The 10 Commandments of Unspoken Sex Rules

1. Thou shalt not wear socks. Unless they’re fishnets. Or thigh-highs. Or part of a costume. Regular gym socks = instant mood killer.

2. Thou shalt not narrate like a sports commentator. (“He shoots—he scores!”) No play-by-play in the bedroom.

3. Thou shalt not stop mid-stroke to check the group chat. The memes can wait.

4. Thou shalt not make sound effects. She is not a racecar, and your penis is not a lightsaber.

5. Thou shalt not treat genitals like musical instruments. No humming, no beatboxing, no experimental jazz solos.

6. Thou shalt not high-five after orgasm. Unless it’s your wedding night, in which case, congratulations.

7. Thou shalt not start a TED Talk during foreplay. We don’t need a lecture on the history of lube.

8. Thou shalt not bring snacks to bed mid-thrust. Crumbs in the sheets = instant celibacy.

9. Thou shalt not use food metaphors unless there is actual food. “You’re my little muffin” is cute in the kitchen, not in doggy style.

10. Thou shalt not declare, “Oops, wrong hole” like it’s a casual Tuesday mistake. That’s not casual. That’s an emergency summit.

 

[Mrtenant]

@Mrtenant Please, o wise one, share more rules. What else do we need to know aside from No. 16 socks?

I am glad you asked. Please, gather round...yep there's a seat right over there. No. There. Yes. That's it. Okay.

1. Use a bag if (s)he's ugly, or a pillow. Smothering them might be the best solution after all.

2. Wear clean shoes in bed for fucks sake. There is no telling what the hell you been walking in outside and for damn sure, you are not bringing that in my bed!

3. If she says fist her, that does not mean punch her. Idiots.

4. Pull the tampon out before putting your cock in. I mean, if you want your redwings, fucking do it right.

5. Trying to fuck all your neighbors is one sure way to make to make a new HOA rule.

6. Don't use spit for anything sexual after getting drunk and sick

7. Do not have sex while on rollerskates. The fucking roadrash!

8. Mermaids are fishes. If you wanna fuck a mermaid, then its bestiality. Get your fucking head examined.

9. Yes always, tater tots are perfect after sex

10. Need to spice things up? Soak in a bathtub full of purple jello. Then go knocking boots.

 

[Carmina24]

I am glad you asked. Please, gather round...yep there's a seat right over there. No. There. Yes. That's it. Okay.

1. Use a bag if (s)he's ugly, or a pillow. Smothering them might be the best solution after all.

2. Wear clean shoes in bed for fucks sake. There is no telling what the hell you been walking in outside and for damn sure, you are not bringing that in my bed!

3. If she says fist her, that does not mean punch her. Idiots.

4. Pull the tampon out before putting your cock in. I mean, if you want your redwings, fucking do it right.

5. Trying to fuck all your neighbors is one sure way to make to make a new HOA rule.

6. Don't use spit for anything sexual after getting drunk and sick

7. Do not have sex while on rollerskates. The fucking roadrash!

8. Mermaids are fishes. If you wanna fuck a mermaid, then its bestiality. Get your fucking head examined.

9. Yes always, tater tots are perfect after sex

10. Need to spice things up? Soak in a bathtub full of purple jello. Then go knocking boots.

*Furiously scribbling on notebook*
Wait, so that's why they use a bag on me??

 

[Mrtenant]

*Furiously scribbling on notebook*
Wait, so that's why they use a bag on me??

Be thankful you're only a one bagger?

A two bagger is when you wear one and your partner wears one. In case one breaks. Safety first.

 

[Carmina24]

Be thankful you're only a one bagger?

A two bagger is when you wear one and your partner wears one. In case one breaks. Safety first.

Yes, only one bag. So there's hope for me after all!

*Whispers* @Mrtenant if I would guess which rule guys break the most, it's the socks thing, isn't it?

 

[Mrtenant]

Yes, only one bag. So there's hope for me after all!

*Whispers* @Mrtenant if I would guess which rule guys break the most, it's the socks thing, isn't it?

Likely. Many guys are in sore need of some kind of pedicure. Its embarrassing to have fucked up feet.

Me, I'm of the mind to keep my feet looking good and fresh, just in case my partner suddenly has a foot fetish and wants to get freaky with my feet. I can let the little darling go to town with confidence.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Likely. Many guys are in sore need of some kind of pedicure. Its embarrassing to have fucked up feet.

Me, I'm of the mind to keep my feet looking good and fresh, just in case my partner suddenly has a foot fetish and wants to get freaky with my feet. I can let the little darling go to town with confidence.

A pedi is not just for the ladies anymore!
Now where is my foot sander thingy