The Ant and the Grasshopper

Rex1960

Literotica Guru
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Mar 25, 2002
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1. Classic Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Moral of the story: Be responsible for yourself.

2. Modern Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in the country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so ?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's not easy being green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

Finally the EEOC drafts "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

Moral of the story: Vote carefully
 
I hate grasshoppers. I torture them, just for fun. The only thing worse if fireants. Fireants really suck. I have this chemical stuff that I put on their houses whenever I see them, just to kill them off. Whenever it rains, they build their houses up really high, and carry these little white pods up to the surface. If you kick 'em over, they come swarming up, looking for a chance to bite anything that moves.

I like regular ants, but not fireants.

Spiders are pretty good too.
Spiders eat grasshoppers.
 
Sandia said:
Spiders are pretty good too.
Spiders eat grasshoppers.


I love spiders. They also eat flying insects like mosquitoes and flies. Plus, they're really cool to watch when you're stoned.
 
I am blessed with hundreds of spiders on my house this year.
 
at least they should have a great opportunity for some nice upskirts I guess....

I find we're a little bit off topic now.
Here's a reminder

Moral of the story: Vote carefully
 
lol

I'm glad I recieved a mail-in ballot this year. I'm going to sit down this weekend and read through some information I've been saving about the candidates and referendums then take my time and vote.

Much better than rushing in after work and seeing the ballot for the first time even though I've read about the issues and candidates earlier.

I feel like a spider is watching me right now.
 
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