The Amicus 'read alike, think alike' contest

[Pure]

For the cold winter evenings:

In 600* words or less, take a current topic, like 'extraordinary rendition' or women putting career ahead of childbearing, and create a stirring and off-the-wall position statement that reads just like amicus and shows the same (alleged) thought processes. At least one third or more--possibly the whole thing--should be an ad hominem attack on those with a contrary position.

It is acknowledged that the extremity of real-life and real-person accuracy of representation may never be attainable by another human besides the 'man of yesteryear'. However, the piece will be judged by its authentic ring, diction, rhetoric and logic, as well as its suitably bizarre statements and strange authoritarian twists of the doctrines of Ayn Rand and 'objectivism.' The emotional tone too will be judged in terms of genuine capture of anger, resentment, nostalgia, etc.

Post it here. Prize to be awared New Years Day: A pair of authentic US Army electrodes, gold plated for posterity.

I would like a couple others to volunteer as judges besides myself, so that no bias can be construed.
---

*Revised, 4:44 pm EST.

It occurs to me that just as we appreciate chess at leisure and at high speed, there should be a high-speed rant division of this contest. If you want to enter that, post your time for composition.

 

[impressive]

I'm not laughing.












Honest, I'm not.

 

[Guest]

I'm not laughing.












Honest, I'm not.

Well I am.

 

[Liar]

Aww, I cry overkill. You're going to take the fun out of debating the bloke in actual threads.

 

[TheEarl]

Why Britain isn’t Free
By The Earl, Age 21 and a half

I was thinking the other day about why America is the only nation that truly has freedom in the world. Even though they still persist in the fallacies of stealing money from the paypackets of the working man, america is still truly the only bastion of freedom … I can’t help but wonder if any other country will rise to our level some day. Maybe India… or China…

old europe is still stuck in the failed socialist policies that have doomed it to years of economic inferiority. They are living in the past dreaming of days of empire… I can’t help but wonder if they will ever lift their heads and look forward as we have done... throughout history it is proven that adherence to marxism brings only economic failure and widespread poverty. Plans like public health, government sponsored education … all of these steal money from the common man … all of these were tried in the soviet union and all of them were a failure. Deviating from the free market and picking the pocket of hard working citizens will only lead to your continued inferiority.

sigh… I wonder if any nation will ever join us on our path … I hope so but I fear it may not happen … unless it does then America will have to lead the world alone.

the earl


PS. Sorry Amicus, I couldn't resist.

 

[amicus]

Awwww...my little socialist homies dithering about as usual.

I know, theEarl is a free market guy, (so he says). I think you might have omitted that small measure of humor I attempt to inject in most posts...ah, also the alliteration, usually un noticed, like to show a literary flair here and there.

The chagrin must be nose deep as amicus2k6 leads Nation States for the second month in a row. Socialist policies fail even in a game. How 'bout them apples?

chuckles...

 

[TheEarl]

Awwww...my little socialist homies dithering about as usual.

I know, theEarl is a free market guy, (so he says). I think you might have omitted that small measure of humor I attempt to inject in most posts...ah, also the alliteration, usually un noticed, like to show a literary flair here and there.

The chagrin must be nose deep as amicus2k6 leads Nation States for the second month in a row. Socialist policies fail even in a game. How 'bout them apples?

chuckles...

While amicus2k6's economy thrives, people are dying of easily cured diseases, a smog is forming around what little natural beauty there is left and a class system is emerging as poor people can't afford to send their children to school. The perfect free market means those children die young from industrial poisoning, as they go to work in factories which have no regulation or safety incentives as the pure free market provides for all.

I'll stay in The Earl thanks, where our right wing policies keep crime low, education high and people healthy.

I think I cheated on my effort actually, because a few sentences of that were near direct quotes of you.

The Earl

 

[amicus]

While amicus2k6's economy thrives, people are dying of easily cured diseases, a smog is forming around what little natural beauty there is left and a class system is emerging as poor people can't afford to send their children to school. The perfect free market means those children die young from industrial poisoning, as they go to work in factories which have no regulation or safety incentives as the pure free market provides for all.

I'll stay in The Earl thanks, where our right wing policies keep crime low, education high and people healthy.

I think I cheated on my effort actually, because a few sentences of that were near direct quotes of you.

The Earl

It is just a game, Earl, and not a very good one at that. But, even in the game you will note that the population of my Nation continues to grow and expand, so apparently not too many are dying of 'easily cured diseases'.

A 'perfectly free market place' does not mean poisoning, unsafe factories or even no education for the citizens. Those are just your anti capitalist bias's kicking in as a defense mechanism against those who prefer freedom over slavery.

That is the fault in the game, pre assumed outcomes and results from controlled actions provided by the game creator.

While the free market place is by no means perfect and displays fits and starts from trial and error and mistakes are made, they can be corrected.

You want to use force to correct the errors, I want the market function to discover and correct the errors.

It is the market place, not government regulation and control, that will provide a safe clean environment and safe products and services. How do I know this with such certainty? Because I know the consumer will demand it and if not satisfied, go elsewhere if changes are not made.

Funny how it works that way, time and time again, without the use of force, just the use of free choice to buy or not buy.

amicus...

 

[CharleyH]

I will need a couple of days to research and then parody, Pure, but parody is definately my kind of game! And I'm damn good at it. I will get it right. LOL

 

[Pure]

Hey, ami, that little free market piece is a beaut. But it's a little unfair yourself entering the 'look alike, think alike' contest!

In any case, people have an authentic piece to gauge their efforts against!

Thanks.

 

[Pure]

The Land of Free Markets

Though the socialists will ridicule it and the ignorant will poke fun at it, the land of free markets is clearly the place any RATIONAL person would like to live, marry, and raise his family.

It is virtually free of crime. Why? Welfare handouts so beloved of Stalin and his ilk have not corrupted people and made them shifless and lazy... a tendency of all those from non-Anglo American stock....

Not politically correct! Yes sirree... but ask yourself why is it you see so many drunken Indians--excuse me, 'persons of aboregional descent'-- around our cities. They could not 'cut it' in the wilderness... so they came in to collect the guilt-ridden liberals' cash handout.

Why couldn't they 'cut it'? They prayed to pagan gods is a most deluded way: They had the irrational superstition that they could control the elements... the socalled rain dance. They did not have a free market. Yes, sorry, back to my original topic....

The land of free markets is almost pollution free, as I've shown in my last novel. You see, my socialist friends, 'customers' and 'traders' do not like it when their grass doesn't grow... and there kids have deformed faces. It's well known that the worst polluters are the bastard offspring of the deluded anti-saint... Marx.

Yeah you pansies can talk 'Love Canal' as one example on a continant, but look at the rivers of Red China... the choking, killer smog cooked up by Mao and his slant-eyed commie hordes.

Yeah, I know, you sob sisters. It so 'upsetting' to hear the truth... but ask yourself, where have the slant eyed ever acomplished anything on their own? Yes, the Chinese... that's right, the darlings of socialist dreamers...who can't put together a decent automobile....

Taiwan, you say??? Listen girliemen, the US has sunk billions into that place and educated their best. So they're as good as a slant can get....

But it's because of good ole Uncle Sam so often de-reided by totalitarian scum.

Lastly... I'll make this brief...because I know you ladies have so many... Career Choices to make! And the female ilk won't appreciate the rationality of this. You, the ones who designed skirts... that button at the back! The land of free market is free of immorality.

I'm not afraid to be specific, I mean... no sluts and ho's. You see, with no 'welfare queens,' there is no one breeding sluts....

One of my socialist 'pals' has posted, "Hoes are 'amicus' favorite free enterprizers." ...that's a scum lie.

I never touched a 'ho because I never took more than hand action from a gook while I was on Uncle Sam's winning team in Korea.

And no, this isn't the same as Slick Willy... he had the treasonus gall to lie about it.

What is a 'ho after all... even a high class one? It's someone who wants a lot of money for... laying on her back, and... I know it's not PC...likely for buying herself heroin... that the taco pushers have flooded our streets with.

Free market means free exchange. If I sell my services, I get what they're worth, in return. People pay what they find my services are worth.

This does not happen in slave states... like Holland, where effeet socialist males pay outragous prices for pussy that is 'government certified'.... Ha!

You say I'm callus, but I'm not. A 'ho is a woman we should feel sorry for... Yes, folks, I'll say it. She'd be happy with a real job and a real husband... that takes charge and not some black pimp controlling her through force.

Force... the only thing that keeps these degenerate 'professions' going. And the whole rotten, red, socialist world... England, France, Germany, Sweden, Russia, China, and Massachussets, if you want examples...for that matter.

(624 words) (entered in the 'speed rant' division: 45 mins.)
---

Edited, 4:56 pm.

 

[cloudy]

Pure: not enough...ellipses.

 

[Pure]

better?

thanks!

"rose"

i know the emotional tone is more Rush than ami, but I think I've got the diction and content pretty well.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Hey! I'll try!
---------------------------------

How about a nice fruity camambert to go with all that lefty liberal whine?

And cheese that smells like feet is about all those lilly-livered socialist Frog eurotrash scum are good for anyhow, ever since Uncle Sammie bailed their sorry asses out of TWO World Wars!…

<chuckles>

Oh my! I see some of our puke-stained chardonnay-weeping demoCRAPS are still blubbering in their beer about the War on Terror all because a few thousand Iraqis got offed. Well shit happens. Grow up! They’re lucky we don’t just go over there with a couple nukes and turn that trashpile into a heap of molten slag! They're all terrorists anyhow, and this is a war to the finish--the whole world versus the US of A!

Will you pin-heads change your tune once that fleabag country is a thriving deomcracy and those towel-heads get down on their knees and thank Allah that George Bush brought them a free economy?

Probably not!

Some people never learn…

<Amicus sighs>

And as for Europe, we could go over there now and nuke them back to the pleistocene and they know it! That’s what makes them run around and scream like little girls. But we don’t. Cause Uncle Sam never had an empire. Never had one, never will…

That’s why they all want to flee those commie health-care systems and 5 week vacations and come over here where we have the highest standard of living in the universe, despite the efforts of the six remaining leftwing anti-American demoCRAPS to screw it all up.

Ah well. Amicus looks away in chagrin… Whistles a little tune… Looks at his nails…

And global warming? Don’t look now, chicken little, but it’s not happening. I don’t know if you college-brainwashed scumbuckets have the sense to pull your heads out of your asses, but if you stick your hand out the window you’ll find that it’s cold outside!

That’s right…cold!

Where’s your global warming now? More pointy-headed college-teacher Business bashing is where.

So while the rest of the world is running around blubbering about greenhouse gases, our free market will solve the problem in nothing flat!

But you wouldn’t know about that, would you?

Ah, what’s the use?

So long scum! I can't wait to dance and piss all over your liberal graves you dumb pissants!

<chuckles> … <guffaws> … <snickers> … Goes back to whistling a little tune

 

[amicus]

Yeah, ur gonna need more than one judge.

 

[gauchecritic]

Our leader (inasmuch as an avowed anarchist can have a leader) the noble and unfortunately Jewish Ayn (rhymes with 'line') Rand (as in 'corporation') reveals to us not only "That no one has the right to seek values from others by physical force, or impose ideas on others by physical force." but also "That the individual has a right to exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing self to others nor others to self" (Wikipedia.org)

Whilst these inalienable rights of any right thinking Western Philosophy can never, by logic nor reason, be disproved, our beloved goes on to state as fact "That man must choose his values and actions by reason."

It is this latter, loquatious legerdemain, that stands true and proud in the matter of the 'batter of the sexes'.

Man must choose his values and actions by reason. Even she of the scintilating intelect admits that women have no role in the affairs of men. Real men. Men who love only women, as only a chattel can be loved.

But wait, I hear you bleeding heart liberals cry, what about Madame Curie, twice winner of the Nobel Prize? What of our Maid of Orleon who led thousands of French men in her battles with the cursed English? What of that greatest of British Prime ministers since Pitt the Elder, one Margaret Hilda Thatcher?

These so called women are easily dismissed. Note that Maire Curie was not Maire Sklodowska. She had taken her husband's name (and no doubt much of his work) Joan of Arc was a madwoman who made herself as much like a man as she could, always wearing armour and with her hair shortened like some kind of modern liberal lesbian. And Margaret Thatcher (glory to her name) was again married; to one Dennis Thatcher.

I can see the Marxists, leninists and Trotskyists huddling together now to form a united front in the face of the true free market, which (with the USA in the vanguard) sent all their fraudulant communist ideals into the oblivion they were destined to die to.

I am reminded of my time as a so called right wing, late night talk show host at WKAN in Wisconsin when the puny pacifists would line up by their tens to give me some vapid, insipid arguements about our involvement in the War On Terror and how it went against the fabulous Ayn's polity of non-sacrifice and values and ideas being forced on individuals. I cut them off before they finished their first sentence. Those poor, disabled, mentally challenged fools.

Feel free to find all the loop-holes you will but I will remain forever....

Ambivalent.

 

[yui]

Our leader (inasmuch as an avowed anarchist can have a leader) the noble and unfortunately Jewish Ayn (rhymes with 'line') Rand (as in 'corporation') reveals to us not only "That no one has the right to seek values from others by physical force, or impose ideas on others by physical force." but also "That the individual has a right to exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing self to others nor others to self" (Wikipedia.org)

Whilst these inalienable rights of any right thinking Western Philosophy can never, by logic nor reason, be disproved, our beloved goes on to state as fact "That man must choose his values and actions by reason."

It is this latter, loquatious legerdemain, that stands true and proud in the matter of the 'batter of the sexes'.

Man must choose his values and actions by reason. Even she of the scintilating intelect admits that women have no role in the affairs of men. Real men. Men who love only women, as only a chattel can be loved.

But wait, I hear you bleeding heart liberals cry, what about Madame Curie, twice winner of the Nobel Prize? What of our Maid of Orleon who led thousands of French men in her battles with the cursed English? What of that greatest of British Prime ministers since Pitt the Elder, one Margaret Hilda Thatcher?

These so called women are easily dismissed. Note that Maire Curie was not Maire Sklodowska. She had taken her husband's name (and no doubt much of his work) Joan of Arc was a madwoman who made herself as much like a man as she could, always wearing armour and with her hair shortened like some kind of modern liberal lesbian. And Margaret Thatcher (glory to her name) was again married; to one Dennis Thatcher.

I can see the Marxists, leninists and Trotskyists huddling together now to form a united front in the face of the true free market, which (with the USA in the vanguard) sent all their fraudulant communist ideals into the oblivion they were destined to die to.

I am reminded of my time as a so called right wing, late night talk show host at WKAN in Wisconsin when the puny pacifists would line up by their tens to give me some vapid, insipid arguements about our involvement in the War On Terror and how it went against the fabulous Ayn's polity of non-sacrifice and values and ideas being forced on individuals. I cut them off before they finished their first sentence. Those poor, disabled, mentally challenged fools.

Feel free to find all the loop-holes you will but I will remain forever....

Ambivalent.

My vote.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

My vote.

I'll vote for Gauche too.

All of a sudden I'm terrified of winning.

 

[Liar]

Yeah, ur gonna need more than one judge.

I think you should do them the honor. Assign scores to the posts or something.



Snickering from the sidelines,
#L

 

[Penelope Street]

The chagrin must be nose deep as amicus2k6 leads Nation States for the second month in a row. Socialist policies fail even in a game. How 'bout them apples?

chuckles...

Yeah. That is worth a chuckle or two.

Amicus 2k6 leads in (off the top of my head) ...

Dumbest
Rudest
Crime

 

[yui]

All of a sudden I'm terrified of winning.

Want I should hold you?

 

[TheEarl]

I'm terrified too.

The Earl

 

[amicus]

I want you should hold me, after all, I am the one being roasted.

 

[Guest]

So Zoot is already taken, then.

Can I hold you, Earl?

 

[yui]

I'm terrified too.

The Earl

Don't worry, I've got you.

I want you should hold me, after all, I am the one being roasted.

I'll pat you on the head ....

So Zoot is already taken, then.

Can I hold you, Earl?

Nope, sorry! Got him flat on his back and covered in Eskimo kisses.