The “milf/dilf/pilf” thread: parents and sexuality

[lovebeast]

Nothing new, but wanted to put this out there: how do you balance being a parent with being a sexual being? The more energy and care I put into being the best parent I can be, the less time and energy I have to explore and express my sexuality, either with my partner or myself (and certainly with other partners). Any one else experienced this? Anyone have any hacks?

And if any other parents are in the same boat and looking to connect, I’m always open to chat. 40ish/m in Toronto here, kinky and open to discussing any desire we might be harboring.

 

[Ingenue844]

I have no idea.
My 2 cockblockers make it so even when my husband and I are both in the mood, it’s almost impossible to have alone time.

I think we’re going to try to get away together for a weekend every other month. But that’s hardly frequent enough.

 

[lovebeast]

Sound frustrating, @Ingenue844 ! How do you deal in the meantime?

 

[SheisFaye]

Within reason I've been open about apropriate sexual feelings with my kids. Prior to my ex husband and I getting a divorce- the kids (albeit older aged) knew that as a couple we had a healthy functioning sex life. Many things are sexualized these days. I felt not being open to this topic of discussion could cause more harm than trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

For younger children-
Go to fet cons, take hotel stay cations, nannies, work lunch meet ups, car sex, garage sex, laundry room sex, (responsible) outdoor play, lots of gagging, bondage, shower sex, bathroom sex. Children are a product of "breeding". Lol My ex and I would literally turn it in to a game of sorts of how to be inconspicuously kinky and torment eachother until we found a moment to devour one another. We had our issues but sex wasn't one of them. Being a parent does not mean that you lose your identity or desires and it's healthy to make sure those needs are being met.

I think a shift in perception is always helpful.

Often we reduce ourselves to our "roles". Living is an adventure. Children learn not by what you teach them but what they observe from you. That is to say that being in love and passionate about eachother- having an identity (obviously not kink based but in general) haha is something that can help you to be a great parent. I think that's what helps me keep myself balanced. The more satiated and happy I am the better experience we all have. I don't have any guilt about it and I make the time.

 

[lovebeast]

Within reason I've been open about apropriate sexual feelings with my kids. Prior to my ex husband and I getting a divorce- the kids (albeit older aged) knew that as a couple we had a healthy functioning sex life. Many things are sexualized these days. I felt not being open to this topic of discussion could cause more harm than trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

For younger children-
Go to fet cons, take hotel stay cations, nannies, work lunch meet ups, car sex, garage sex, laundry room sex, (responsible) outdoor play, lots of gagging, bondage, shower sex, bathroom sex. Children are a product of "breeding". Lol My ex and I would literally turn it in to a game of sorts of how to be inconspicuously kinky and torment eachother until we found a moment to devour one another. We had our issues but sex wasn't one of them. Being a parent does not mean that you lose your identity or desires and it's healthy to make sure those needs are being met.

I think a shift in perception is always helpful.

Often we reduce ourselves to our "roles". Living is an adventure. Children learn not by what you teach them but what they observe from you. That is to say that being in love and passionate about eachother- having an identity (obviously not kink based but in general) haha is something that can help you to be a great parent. I think that's what helps me keep myself balanced. The more satiated and happy I am the better experience we all have. I don't have any guilt about it and I make the time.

Good advice, @SheisFaye !

 

[TheAudacity]

Agree with Faye. Just need to find times to enjoy each other. Getaways, sneaking off to other parts of the house, waiting until we'll after midnight (to hell with sleep!).

It does take time, but things get better. They grow up, go out, move out. Then you become more than just a caretaker mom and dad. They ask advice and such...take on new needs from you.

Love my kids, but look forward to the next saga of life.

 

[shymalea]

Nothing new, but wanted to put this out there: how do you balance being a parent with being a sexual being? The more energy and care I put into being the best parent I can be, the less time and energy I have to explore and express my sexuality, either with my partner or myself (and certainly with other partners). Any one else experienced this? Anyone have any hacks?

And if any other parents are in the same boat and looking to connect, I’m always open to chat. 40ish/m in Toronto here, kinky and open to discussing any desire we might be harboring.

we,re divorced now,but still good friends,i ,ve told her on the phone about this and asked her what she loved the most when we were so busy with kids&work our sexlife was not at his best,well she said one thing that arroused her and make her very wet was when she put on a bit more risky outfit on during the weekend,allways a miniskirt&her fav opentoe high heel sandals with anclestraps,barelegs&nylons&stockings&thigh highs and without being caught into taboo and getting banned on this fantastic website,it,s so true she was turned on by the naughty taboo feeling to showing of to them&me,not showing all but enough to fantasize about,and we both were turned on by the thought that it was so kinky&taboo she did this as a well behavioud respected housewife and doing nothing wrong but giving us both something that keeped our sexlife still alive&hot ,wife is in the pic i want to share with her permission

 

[OpenLusting]

Within reason I've been open about apropriate sexual feelings with my kids. Prior to my ex husband and I getting a divorce- the kids (albeit older aged) knew that as a couple we had a healthy functioning sex life. Many things are sexualized these days. I felt not being open to this topic of discussion could cause more harm than trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

For younger children-
Go to fet cons, take hotel stay cations, nannies, work lunch meet ups, car sex, garage sex, laundry room sex, (responsible) outdoor play, lots of gagging, bondage, shower sex, bathroom sex. Children are a product of "breeding". Lol My ex and I would literally turn it in to a game of sorts of how to be inconspicuously kinky and torment eachother until we found a moment to devour one another. We had our issues but sex wasn't one of them. Being a parent does not mean that you lose your identity or desires and it's healthy to make sure those needs are being met.

I think a shift in perception is always helpful.

Often we reduce ourselves to our "roles". Living is an adventure. Children learn not by what you teach them but what they observe from you. That is to say that being in love and passionate about eachother- having an identity (obviously not kink based but in general) haha is something that can help you to be a great parent. I think that's what helps me keep myself balanced. The more satiated and happy I am the better experience we all have. I don't have any guilt about it and I make the time.

great post!!! I was raised in a very open environment, and raised my own 2 (now out of college and on their own) the same way I was... sexuality is a big part of life and relationships, as well as being extremely pleasurable. There is nothing wrong with raising a family that understands that being sexual is normal, and enjoyable.