That's not BDSM.
- Thread starter MorfeuV
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Marquis
Jack Dawkins
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MorfeuV said:
This isn't much of a thread starter dude.
You've got two sentences which seem to be non sequiturs.
I read your first sentence and found myself wondering: Which threads? Which people? Which actions?
As for your second sentence, I'm not sure anyone would disagree with you.
shy slave
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Jaffa cakes are biscuits and despite the arguement being an issue for the UK tax system and ending up in a tribunal, they were still declared a biscuit.
Jaffa Cakes
Jaffa Cakes are cakes, as the name suggests and contrary to the claims of HM Customs and Excise, who argued that they were biscuits. This was not an exercise in pedantry but an attempt to levy VAT on them: cakes are `food' and zero rated, while biscuits are `luxury items', and attract 17.5% tax. (Note that the McVities Jaffa Cake web site calls them `biscuits' anyway....)
The matter was settled with this test: a cake starts off soft and goes hard when it is stale, but a biscuit starts off hard and goes soft when stale. Jaffa Cakes harden when stale.
The matter was settled over ten years ago by a VAT tribunal in a very expensive case. McVities argued that they were indeed cakes (and hence zero-rated for VAT), while HM Customs and Excise argued that they were biscuits and hence subject to 17.5 per cent VAT. McVities won the case, primarily because biscuits are hard when fresh and soft when stale whereas cakes are soft when fresh and hard when stale; Jaffa Cakes, of course, fall into the latter category. (Taken from mythic-beasts.com)
Labels on things are always going to be questioned.
I know that for some people BDSM or D/s comes under the label of abuse.
Interesting that you only think D/s came before BDSM, any examples you would like to share?
Jaffa Cakes
Jaffa Cakes are cakes, as the name suggests and contrary to the claims of HM Customs and Excise, who argued that they were biscuits. This was not an exercise in pedantry but an attempt to levy VAT on them: cakes are `food' and zero rated, while biscuits are `luxury items', and attract 17.5% tax. (Note that the McVities Jaffa Cake web site calls them `biscuits' anyway....)
The matter was settled with this test: a cake starts off soft and goes hard when it is stale, but a biscuit starts off hard and goes soft when stale. Jaffa Cakes harden when stale.
The matter was settled over ten years ago by a VAT tribunal in a very expensive case. McVities argued that they were indeed cakes (and hence zero-rated for VAT), while HM Customs and Excise argued that they were biscuits and hence subject to 17.5 per cent VAT. McVities won the case, primarily because biscuits are hard when fresh and soft when stale whereas cakes are soft when fresh and hard when stale; Jaffa Cakes, of course, fall into the latter category. (Taken from mythic-beasts.com)
Labels on things are always going to be questioned.
I know that for some people BDSM or D/s comes under the label of abuse.
Interesting that you only think D/s came before BDSM, any examples you would like to share?
Last edited:
CutieMouse
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Jailhouse
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MorfeuV said:
I understand *exactly* what he's talking about. I've often thought the same thing.
One reason why I staunchly avoid the BDSM community is because I find the labelling and compulsive need to categorize to be tiring and lethal to the eroticism of the whole thing. I've had experiences of saying "Yeah, I'm into BDSM" to someone and then being put to some kind of test.
"Do you let your sub cum first?" ... "er... sometimes" ... "Then you're not a Dom. That's not BDSM."
"Do you use a flogger?" ... "Sometimes. Sometimes I just use my hand" ... "That's for people who aren't serious about BDSM. It's not BDSM unless it hurts more. You can't make it hurt enough with your hand."
"Where's your sub tonight?" ... "Oh, she didn't want to come" ... "So what?" ... "What do you mean?" ... "So what if she didn't want to come? That's not up to her, is it now?"
I do things in my sex life which can be classified as "BDSM", but I'm a whole person. I do other things, too. If I impose categories and labels and rules on my behavior then I'm not being a person... I'm being a textbook. I'm a study sample. I'm a code of conduct. I'm a checklist. And, see... I'm not worth much when I can't just go with my intuition and my gut reactions. I have to play my sexuality like music rather than paint-by-numbers.
Perhaps what MorfeuV was trying to say is that the BDSM thing, on the community level at least, lacks the free-flowing romance and artistry that I feel is the best part of the sort of erotic behavior which defines BDSM. I get tired of being told I'm not Dom enough, or that I'm not wearing the right Dom clothes, or that I'm not "fully committed" (sorry, did I join a volunteer organization in my sleep or something?).
I don't want to put words in MorfeuV's mouth, but maybe what he was saying is: Too much categorizing and labeling, not enough poetry and eros. If that is, in fact, what he's saying... then I'm right there with him.
Jailhouse
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graceanne said:
They're not all like that, of course... but I do find that dogma is common in the BDSM circles (and I'm not sure why). There are lots of nice, sane, realistic people in the world who like BDSM stuff, but I avoid the community because, by and large, I spend too much time looking into the eyes of a short, fat man in a leather vest and a German SS bike helmet, thinking "Where does he get off telling me I'm doing it wrong?"
Jailhouse
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As I said: "I don't want to put words in MorfeuV's mouth, but maybe what he was saying is: Too much categorizing and labeling, not enough poetry and eros. If that is, in fact, what he's saying... then I'm right there with him."cati said:
Note the use of "maybe" and "if" in that comment.
If he's talking about something else, so be it. What I got out of his post is mine to express, and I did so. "Reading between the lines" or "Words in his mouth" means ascribing some meaning that he didn't intend and, as you can see, I tried not to do that.
Kajira Callista
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kissable
CutieMouse
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Jailhouse said:
If this was, indeed, the sort of thing the OP was getting at- I agree wholeheartedly.
It would be why I confuse people when they ask me to identify my umm.... "place" in the BDSM spectrum.
"So are you a submissive?"
I'm simply myself.
"Oh. So are you a Domme?"
Not necessarily... just me.
"Oh. So are you looking for a Dom or a sub?"
I'm simply looking for a Lover; nothing more, nothing less.
It always amazes me, the number of people who get confused by that exchange...
the captians wench
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Jailhouse said:
I remember when I was a bit fresher to things, some one asking me "are you a sub", well I wasn't a Domme, so I simply answered "yes" I then recieved a 5 min speach on how a sub is an illution and not really a commited to her Dom because she had limits and there for wants to retain some control and because she does hold on to that bit of power her Dom is just a joke as well and neither one of them are really BDSM; only Master/slave relationships with no limits are BDSM. Needless to say I don't converse with this person any more, but being a newbie who was still a bit volnerable coming out of a bad relationship and more than a little sugestive, I bought into it. The moment that finally broke the reality of things for me is when Jounar asked me if I wanted to do something (what I can't remember) and I told him that it really wasn't up to me, it was his choice, his responce to me was "no baby, it's our choice".
That really made me feel like I was valued. Not like I was just another play thing and when he got board with me he'd put me back in the toy box. It really opened my eyes, and I stopped trying to define things like I had come to expect. I'm me, he's him, we're us, what other lables does one really need?
lil_squirter
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...I am the ony one who flashed to Stargate SG1 with Jaffa Cakes..aren't I?
Woe is me for a mutual love of Sci-fi and BDSM... Hmm thenagain..maybe I can combine them. BDSFM...
Woe is me for a mutual love of Sci-fi and BDSM... Hmm thenagain..maybe I can combine them. BDSFM...
JMohegan
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Ha ha, indeed. Yes, it was excellent.Marquis said:
A more expanded version of this line -
but a less detailed version of this post.Marquis said:
JMohegan
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I'll definitely join the applause for Jailhouse's post 7 on this thread.
As for the OP here.... I confess that my opinion of his/her judgment has been tainted by this post. Perhaps he/she will return to explain.
As for his second sentence above:
As for the OP here.... I confess that my opinion of his/her judgment has been tainted by this post. Perhaps he/she will return to explain.
As for his second sentence above:
It's possible that the remark was a response to some of Pure's assertions, like this one:MorfeuV said:
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=18771904&postcount=56Pure said:
Etoile
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Oh hell no, you're not. I've been struggling to keep from giggling this whole thread. All I can think of is this picture, it just seems like it goes with the idea of Jaffa Cakes.lil_squirter said:
http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/41303830/1006873
Etoile
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It's funny that you say this. I do object to some threads being brought here - people have come here to talk about watersports, giantess fetishes, foot fetishes, etc., usually because posters elsewhere have directed them here. Now those are not BDSM. They are fetishes, but not BDSM, unless they are incorporated into a BDSM interaction. It does irk me to see those here, because I definitely see a difference between fetish and BDSM, and I think of this forum as being about the latter, not the former.MorfeuV said:
But are you speaking of something different? What threads are you complaining about?
