That weird parasocial thing some readers do

[gunhilltrain]

Everybody's gangsta until they think about writing their own story

They've got to make their bones. "If Clemenza can find a way to plant a weapon for me there - then I'll kill them both."

 

[OralAllOver]

a thought: constructive criticism presents a more difficult task than most realize ... so it goes

 

[StillStunned]

Perhaps the issue stems from this being a site for amateur writers. Readers don't see much difference between themselves and us: people who enjoy erotic fantasies


As writers, we're just the ones who go to the trouble of writing them down. But, to their mind, that's a minor extension of imagining the fantasy, and so their version deserves as much attention.

Or something like that.

An additional thought: because it's all digital, they expect (perhaps subconsciously) that we can change our stories without too much effort, if we're presented with a better version.

 

[alohadave]

Perhaps the issue stems from this being a site for amateur writers. Readers don't see much difference between themselves and us: people who enjoy erotic fantasies

Some people just have boundary issues and don't understand what a parasocial relationship is. Because they can communicate with an author, they misconstrue the relationship as more equal than it really is.

 

[SkyBubble]

You must have experienced it.

“Your story would have been much better if it adhered precisely to my preferences, instead of yours.”

I mean what are you meant to say to that? I find it really strange that readers on a free site expect their needs to be catered to, rather than authors writing what they want to write.

I’m not complaining, readers can say what they like. It’s just the assumption that authors are going to write the next story just to please commenter number three based on their feedback. Really? But that does seem to be the expectation.

I have a story that involves a minor celebrity. I actually got the following comment:

"I swear this would be so good if it weren't about her."

 

[SkyBubble]

We all do this. There's not a person here who hasn't disliked a story for there being something in it that they don't agree with on a personal/political/social etc issue.

I haven't.

 

[gunhilltrain]

An additional thought: because it's all digital, they expect (perhaps subconsciously) that we can change our stories without too much effort, if we're presented with a better version.

On some sites, it's easier to change than this one. Lit is not so easy or fast.

Besides, it may take me months or years to think of a better version, if it ever happens. I even followed one guy's advice once, but I found his comment by accident a year after I had rejected him. That was a very rare event. Well, there was another guy who found that I had messed up in the title of a Tom Wolfe novel. In that case it was sort of important so I corrected it. But I'm sure both of them never thought about me again.

 

[SkyBubble]

"So, write your own story then," is the obvious response. Or, shrug.

My usual response is "Thank you for your comment."

 

[RetroFan]

I like getting feedback on my stories, even negative comments.

But I can understand frustration when it is suggested that the whole story premise be changed, and IT tends to be the worst for this.

For example, a story about a brother and sister having a three-way with their female cousin, and getting comments that the cousin shouldn't be included and it should only be between the brother and sister. I mean its not like there's a shortage of brother-sister stories but the BSC three-way would be much rarer, so why comment saying that it should have been written differently?

 

[StillStunned]

On some sites, it's easier to change than this one. Lit is not so easy or fast.

You know that, and I know that, and pretty much everyone who's published anything on Lit knows that. But the average reader probably doesn't. They have less of an idea of the publication process here than they do of the writing process. To them it's all, "Well, you just type it out and upload it. And if you want to change anything - because you've just realised how brilliant my idea is - then you just upload a new version."

The less people understand and appreciate the work, the more likely they are - IMO - to impose their own ideas, or at least assume that their ideas are equally valuable.

 

[HordHolm]

To them it's all, "Well, you just type it out and upload it. And if you want to change anything - because you've just realised how brilliant my idea is - then you just upload a new version."

I think you credit a sizeable chunk of the readership with too deep an analysis even there. I suspect there's a large minority who don't pay it one moment of mind.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I think you credit a sizeable chunk of the readership with too deep an analysis even there. I suspect there's a large minority who don't pay it one moment of mind.

Ah yes, the "it’s wrong, fix it" crowd. Doesn’t help that we live in shades of gray, not a right/wrong world…

 

[Bazzle]

On some sites, it's easier to change than this one. Lit is not so easy or fast.

Besides, it may take me months or years to think of a better version, if it ever happens. I even followed one guy's advice once, but I found his comment by accident a year after I had rejected him. That was a very rare event. Well, there was another guy who found that I had messed up in the title of a Tom Wolfe novel. In that case it was sort of important so I corrected it. But I'm sure both of them never thought about me again.

You shouldn't change the ending because of one guy or girls own kink.

There is nothing stopping you writing a similar story and setting and giving it the 'better' ending?

 

[gunhilltrain]

You shouldn't change the ending because of one guy or girls own kink.

There is nothing stopping you writing a similar story and setting and giving it the 'better' ending?

That one person with the Tom Wolfe issue involved the beginning, and I thought it was worth changing even though it mostly moot by the time it was done. It made me feel better anyway.

That other guy was a once every five years event. Even though he was long gone (over a year) I thought is was worth an experiment to see how it went. It was a big plot change, but I liked the result and I replaced it with a new title. I eventually it generated a lot of sequels. But ultimately it was my call, not his.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

That one person with the Tom Wolfe issue involved the beginning, and I thought it was worth changing even though it mostly moot by the time it was done. It made me feel better anyway.

That other guy was a once every five years event. Even though he was long gone (over a year) I thought is was worth an experiment to see how it went. It was a big plot change, but I liked the result and I replaced it with a new title. I eventually it generated a lot of sequels. But ultimately it was my call, not his.

And that, to me, is the key. You made those changes because you wanted to.

 

[gunhilltrain]

This reminds me of how movie studios use "test audiences" on a film and then change the final cut. You would think a director like Brian De Palma could resist that kind of thing, but he couldn't. It's described in The Devil's Candy. Yeah, Tom Wolfe again, who has talent as a writer but who can't write about people outside his own social class. (Well, many of us can't do that either.)

It was Bonfire of the Vanities set and finally filmed partially in The Bronx of the 1980s. It was an annoying book and the movie was even worse. Even with the changes, the film bombed.

https://innocent-bystander.com/2021/09/17/book-report-the-devils-candy-by-julie-salamon/

 

[Rob_Royale]

I really don't mind this at all. If my story had the effect of firing up someone's imagination enough for them to suggest an alternative or perhaps a sequel, then I've accomplished one of my goals as a writer. After all that's how I got here. I came, I read, was inspired and then I wrote.

 

[MetaBob]

You must have experienced it.

“Your story would have been much better if it adhered precisely to my preferences, instead of yours.”

I mean what are you meant to say to that? I find it really strange that readers on a free site expect their needs to be catered to, rather than authors writing what they want to write.

I’m not complaining, readers can say what they like. It’s just the assumption that authors are going to write the next story just to please commenter number three based on their feedback. Really? But that does seem to be the expectation.

I must admit to submitting private feedback for more than one story series (not on this site) that I was completely invested in. An excellent story with wonderful (fictional!) characters that I wanted to read more about. I felt a sense of ownership of the story I liked so much even though I knew perfectly well that it was not my story. In neither case did I suggest that the authors change anything they wrote, but I did throw out ideas for the series if they wanted to take it further. One author seemed annoyed by this. That stuck with me.

Now, here, I submitted a 14K-word story for the Summer Lovin' 2025 contest in the Romance category earlier this week. My first in that category. The ratings have been good (4.73 aggregate with more ratings than any other of my stories) and the comments uniformly complimentary, but several suggesting in no uncertain terms that they wanted to see more, and even that the commenter would withhold a five-star rating unless at least one more follow-up chapter appeared. Imagine the entitlement. Those comments seemed bullying and I was not inclined to respond. Fuck them and their merely four-star ratings. My main characters had said everything they needed to, with the HEA outcome clearly suggested.

The story: Travel Nurse, or The Last Word

Here's the rub: one commenter made suggestions about how the story could continue from an angle other than one I'd previously considered: the daughter who'd estranged herself from the divorced father in support of the divorcing mother. Which made me consider the story from the perspective of the divorcing mother when she learns that the husband she'd canceled because she thought he was too poor was becoming more successful than she'd thought possible, and also become engaged to a younger woman who was more beautiful and far richer than she had ever been or ever would be. I thought they were good suggestions, and two days ago I decided to try exploring them. Now I have another 5K words in a second chapter I'm committed to and that seems like I will finish by next weekend. I'm really liking what's coming out. Perhaps it's crazy that the category best suiting it might be Loving Wives, which I've never tried writing for, or wanted to.

Dunno what anyone else might make of this. I just know that right now I'm staggering around my house with a goofy grin permanently attached to my goofy mug.

 

[Bramblethorn]

An additional thought: because it's all digital, they expect (perhaps subconsciously) that we can change our stories without too much effort, if we're presented with a better version.

Might be a contributing factor, but I think traditionally published authors experience this too. "Reader with parasocial tendencies makes enthusiastic suggestions to author about how his stories could be improved" is the premise of "Misery", even if Annie Wilkes took it a little further than most.

 

[Nightaelf]

I had a commenter complain that a recent story (my first in BDSM, so I was sensitive to this) did not belong in BDSM because it did not have enough spanking. Half the story was four sessions with a dominatrix, but only one of those was heavy on spanking. Another commenter defended the story pointing out that half the story is literally in her sessions. What other category would it go in. But commenter #1 wanted spanking damn it The story opens with the spanking session, so I guess I gave him unrealistic expectations for the rest of the story.

You’ll never please every reader, but if that’s what they want, then they can just go write their own story or read a different one.

 

[PennameWombat]

You must have experienced it.

“Your story would have been much better if it adhered precisely to my preferences, instead of yours.”

I mean what are you meant to say to that? I find it really strange that readers on a free site expect their needs to be catered to, rather than authors writing what they want to write.

I’m not complaining, readers can say what they like. It’s just the assumption that authors are going to write the next story just to please commenter number three based on their feedback. Really? But that does seem to be the expectation.

Might be a contributing factor, but I think traditionally published authors experience this too. "Reader with parasocial tendencies makes enthusiastic suggestions to author about how his stories could be improved" is the premise of "Misery", even if Annie Wilkes took it a little further than most.

Definitely on this.

Annie Proulx Regrets Writing Brokeback Mountain

I wish I’d never written the story,” Proulx told the Paris Review. “It’s just been the cause of hassle and problems and irritation since the film came out … So many people have completely misunderstood the story. I think it’s important to leave spaces in a story for readers to fill in from their own experience, but unfortunately the audience that Brokeback reached most strongly have powerful fantasy lives. And one of the reasons we keep the gates locked here is that a lot of men have decided that the story should have had a happy ending … So they rewrite the story … I can’t tell you how many of these things have been sent to me as though they’re expecting me to say, ‘Oh great, if only I’d had the sense to write it that way.’”

 

[sirhugs]

We all do this. There's not a person here who hasn't disliked a story for there being something in it that they don't agree with on a personal/political/social etc issue.

The difference is many people are capable of just shrugging it off as "Yeah, its me," but others feel the need to comment and try to impose their will.

but are they really imposing anything, or just expressing an opinion? They are entitled to their opinion. And who knows, their idea might inspire a sequel.

 

[lovecraft68]

but are they really imposing anything, or just expressing an opinion? They are entitled to their opinion. And who knows, their idea might inspire a sequel.

I agree on it being fine they're expressing an opinion. Not sure how them reacting negatively could inspire a sequel, but everyone is different.

 

[sirhugs]

I agree on it being fine they're expressing an opinion. Not sure how them reacting negatively could inspire a sequel, but everyone is different.

I wasn't talking about negative reactions per se. I don't consider a comment like "I'd rather have read about Cassie fucking Jim" to be negative. Instead, it gets me thinking about whether Cassie ought to fuck Jim. By the way, the answer is "no". At least so far.

 

[ZinJ]

I started writing as a hobby a few months ago and used to think I should give readers what they want. Tried that and it made me less interested in the story I'm writing. Now I just think I should write it however I want and see how many people like it. Maybe that's a better mindset to have to stay interested as a writer (at least for me, anyway). I won't really know until the re-edited version of my story finally gets published...