That one friend.

dolf

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Oct 2, 2004
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Every group has one, right? The one who does or says stuff that's, if you think about it, not really on, but they're so beloved that everyone lets it slide.

So, Ape's group has... Marv.

Marv is one sexy SOB. Good face, piercing blue eyes, a body that demands exploration.
Marv is very laid back and personable. Slow to anger and quick to laugh.
Marv never has much cash, because Marv works bars, or casual manual labour, but that's not a big deal.

Marv is also perpetually single. This confused me. At first.

Marv is a... Well, I've seen him blag cigarettes off strangers, all night, with a BS line about trying to quit and the temptations of smelling smoke, but not wanting to buy a whole packet, just one will suffice. I was impressed by the gall of it, but it came so damn easy that it was clearly and oft used act.
And last night... Marv shows up to a small gathering with a beer in hand. Once empty, Marv accepts the host's gracious offer of another. Once empty, Marv accepts the host's gracious offer to help himself. After a couple of hours, Marv has another engagement. But, before leaving, Marv detours to the fridge, puts a further 3 beers in various pockets, and cracks another open.

The host's reaction, on relating this, was amusement. The entire room was *lol* "oh that Marv!" like he's a toddler sneaking an extra cookie.

Isn't Marv, despite being so lovely and likeable and goddamned sexy, just a bit of a scrounging, leeching cunt? :confused:
 
Better to be a charming lovable mooch than a douchebag who pays his own way.
 
We had a guy like that in our group, but after 20 years or, he also had the knack of turning up at peoples houses at meal times, he was eventually dropped from the group.

By the way can any one spare a beer or two? Maybe a hot meal?
 
There are no moochers in our group but we do help each other in various ways, socially and in business.
 
Moochers are bums.
People who enable moochers get what they deserve.

Turn the tables. Since there have been plenty of times when you helped them out, test them and see if they'll return the favor. Mooch off of them. "Forget" your wallet, ask them to loan you money, borrow their clothes, and see what happens. It may feel unnatural for you, but you might really discover your friend's true colors by doing this. Don't wait until you're really in a pinch, only to discover that many of your friends will leave you high and dry.
 
A guy we all hung out with in high school was nicknamed "fingers" because he would always steal lighters from people.

People like that rarely have really close friends.
 
Friendship isn’t a zero sum game. The person who mooches a few beers may be contributing other things of less material value to a group relationship. Maybe “all he does” is make you smile.
 

Marv doesn't know it yet but he's on a one-way trip to a very unhappy middle age and life.


 

Marv doesn't know it yet but he's on a one-way trip to a very unhappy middle age and life.



The guy from our group, who could be the life and soul, now lives alone on benefits. The few of us who have tried to help have only been taken for a further ride by him.
 
Sounds like my ex-wife.

My now homeless ex-wife because she has exhausted her welcome everywhere she has peddled her story of woe.
 
I spent a good portion of 2017 working out who I wanted to keep in my life and getting rid of the ones I didn't. Hangers on, takers, drama-llamas..... all got scrutinized.
I applied criteria - do I bring them any value? Do they bring me any? If I answered no to either, I culled.
Best. Decision. Ever.
My life has been immeasurably simplified, and yet also enriched :)
 
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