That first play session - looking for advice

[LearnerDom]

So I'm meeting this girl for the first time on Sunday
We met online when I answered an ad
Shes looking more for sexual domination and rough sex
Shes had a little rough sex before
but weve been exchanging texts and phone sex where she is very much "use me like a slut" and just do what you want.
Shes made it clear she wants to tied up, handcuffed, ass fucked
We are meeting for 3 hours, which is a long time and she keeps asking how times we will fuck!
She insists she is not very experienced (but has had plenty of sex, and been tied up before)

It all sounds a pretty sweet deal, except she read that bloody book, 50 shades and seems to have trouble separating erotic thoughts from reality.

and then tonight she said "don't treat me like whore too much"
when she has repeatedly said to do just that!

Shes not into pain, spanking, nipple clamps or anything, just a little hair pulling and ass slapping whilst fucking

She says she wants domination not just fucking, but take out the pain element and that's all it is really, kinky fucking

So really I'm a loss of how to play it. How hard or soft do I play?
First she wanted me to grab her the min she entered the room but I talked her out of that.
Ive sent her a long mail, she can back anytime, given her a safe word, told her that we will only do what she is happy with.

I want to give her what she wants, but I don't think she quite knows herself

so any advice?

oh and she has a boyfriend shes marrying next year, shes just trying out stuff before hand!

 

[GrrlFriday]

Some things that leap out at me - "seems to have trouble separating erotic thoughts from reality". Perhaps her saying "don't treat me like a whore too much" is her trying to get a sense of reality into the play. What aftercare methods have you put in place?

"She says she wants domination not just fucking, but take out the pain element and that's all it is really, kinky fucking" - so, you're a sadist, and she's not a masochist. From the way you've put it as only 'kinky fucking', are you sure it's going to work for you?

I think that if you're not sure how hard or soft to play it, then you haven't communicated with her enough and helped her sift through all her untenable ideas.

Having a fiance and seeking out domination with you is a big red flag - how involved is he in her decision? Are you sure she's not going to be traumatised by the experience (or dissatisfied) and make an accusation?

 

[LearnerDom]

Some things that leap out at me - "seems to have trouble separating erotic thoughts from reality". Perhaps her saying "don't treat me like a whore too much" is her trying to get a sense of reality into the play. What aftercare methods have you put in place?

"She says she wants domination not just fucking, but take out the pain element and that's all it is really, kinky fucking" - so, you're a sadist, and she's not a masochist. From the way you've put it as only 'kinky fucking', are you sure it's going to work for you?

I think that if you're not sure how hard or soft to play it, then you haven't communicated with her enough and helped her sift through all her untenable ideas.

Having a fiance and seeking out domination with you is a big red flag - how involved is he in her decision? Are you sure she's not going to be traumatised by the experience (or dissatisfied) and make an accusation?

Thanks for that.
I'm not the first man she has met for NSA, and Im sure I will be ok. She is also very very careful

I have honestly tried to bring her back to reality.
Ive insisted we chat and share a drink first and she has agreed
It will be an opportunity to discuss and finalise
Ive also told her we will cool down together, a massage, a bath or something and not just up and leave straight after

Ive accepted its kinky fucking but even that can be hard or soft.
Ive told this is a first meet, dont have too many expectations, and if we get on, we can learn about each other and do more on the 2nd meet

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Personally, I would break/cancel the date. There are too many red flags, too many inconsistencies, too many contradiction.

 

[midwestyankee]

Rent a hotel room if that helps you get your rocks off and then whack off about six times before calling her to cancel. This can not end well and it appears that you need to neutralize your libido to think straight.

 

[Netzach]

I was going to say use safewords and blah, but I think they're right, there's just not enough upside here unless her pussy is lined with gold and she really does pee Veuve Cliquot.

 

[Oubliette123]

There is so much emphasis on the PYL being in a position of trust, I think the position of trust for the pyl can be overlooked. She doesn't sound like she knows what she wants, and the mention of the gray book kind of brings up a red flag for me. What if the reality was not what she had in her head and she runs crying to her boyfriend? I think you need tread very carefully