Texas
- Thread starter Txdv8
- Start date
Kindness of Strangers
I wouldn't mind your company, much less anyone else's. Houston has always struck me as a boring place, considering most of the fun things involve indoors; seeing as how this searing heat could turn us to shriveled, prune-looking candevers.
I wouldn't mind your company, much less anyone else's. Houston has always struck me as a boring place, considering most of the fun things involve indoors; seeing as how this searing heat could turn us to shriveled, prune-looking candevers.
Just another gal saying " Howdy Folks!" from DFW area, specifically North Dallas/Addison. Figured I let this be my first post to the forums. crazytxcpl_68
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hey
lufkin here
lufkin here
crazytxcpl_68
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sure gina
crazytxcpl_68
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weezy
lufkin here
lufkin here
bknight2602
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Re: Re: No fun in Houston
I agree with you. It's a state of mind, that determines how yu feel, what you enjoy or don't enjoy.someplace said:
LdyBGemini
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Before You Enter TEXAS
Rules for Entering Texas. God Bless Texas!!!
The following list of rules apply to each person as they enter Texas:
* Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
*Remember where you came from - so you can go back. We're not particular, you can even go back a different way . . . just go back.
Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
* It's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
* They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
* So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have> quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks a year.
* So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
* Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer Limited Edition to my huntin' camp and expect to leave clean on Sunday. It won't happen.
* We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi," too. We got over it.
* If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
* Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait.* Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner
bait shop.
* The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first ! of November.
* Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by
our women.
* Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. Our women are some of the best looking in the country.
* We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age!
* No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
* When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and Tabasco sauce!
* You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice, and plenty of it!
* You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
* Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a g! lass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
* That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston, Chicago, or L.A.
* High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
* Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it spooks the fish. If you get in the trees - watch out for the Rattlesnakes and we're not talking sports (unless you try to out run them!).
* Colleges? Try UT, Texas Tech, A&M, Abilene Christian. They come outa there with an education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
* We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so,> "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt kicked by the best!
* Our military! is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA Certified Shooter Education Course.
* Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas.
Rules for Entering Texas. God Bless Texas!!!
The following list of rules apply to each person as they enter Texas:
* Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
*Remember where you came from - so you can go back. We're not particular, you can even go back a different way . . . just go back.
Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
* It's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
* They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
* So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have> quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks a year.
* So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
* Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer Limited Edition to my huntin' camp and expect to leave clean on Sunday. It won't happen.
* We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi," too. We got over it.
* If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
* Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait.* Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner
bait shop.
* The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first ! of November.
* Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by
our women.
* Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. Our women are some of the best looking in the country.
* We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age!
* No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
* When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and Tabasco sauce!
* You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice, and plenty of it!
* You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
* Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a g! lass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
* That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston, Chicago, or L.A.
* High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
* Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it spooks the fish. If you get in the trees - watch out for the Rattlesnakes and we're not talking sports (unless you try to out run them!).
* Colleges? Try UT, Texas Tech, A&M, Abilene Christian. They come outa there with an education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
* We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so,> "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt kicked by the best!
* Our military! is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA Certified Shooter Education Course.
* Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas.
Fun4Wolfgang
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- May 16, 2002
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LdyB,
Where do you get those wonderful lists!! we want MORE!!
Where do you get those wonderful lists!! we want MORE!!
LdyBGemini
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Fun4Wolfgang said:
email where else...lol
Hi Wolfy how are you and Mrs Wolf doing?
LdyBGemini
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Re: Re: Before You Enter TEXAS
G/F we can't have that...<making a note to screen my posts better> lol
I thought the email was great!
someplace said:
G/F we can't have that...<making a note to screen my posts better> lol
I thought the email was great!
LdyBGemini
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Re: Great Advice LdyBGemini.............
I'm originally from New Orleans but have made Texas my home.
Quisath said:
I'm originally from New Orleans but have made Texas my home.
bknight2602
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Re: Before You Enter TEXAS
LBG these are some good rules, even non-Texans should find them funny.LdyBGemini said:
The stars at night
Hey Ladies and Gents,
I am in the Houston area yet have been just about every where in East and Southern Texas. I love SA and really enjoy myself in Austin. Glad to know that there are others here from the Lone Star state. Anybody else from Houston?
I am originally from New Orleans.
G
Hey Ladies and Gents,
I am in the Houston area yet have been just about every where in East and Southern Texas. I love SA and really enjoy myself in Austin. Glad to know that there are others here from the Lone Star state. Anybody else from Houston?
I am originally from New Orleans.
G
wordsmithe
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- 344
Texans aren't all rednecks
While I loved the Texan rules, and we Texans often resemble those remarks, don't forget one of the top schools in the world is in Texas... Rice.
Not great football wise, but the Village and Montrose (two of the fun places in Houston outside Six Flags) are within walking distance of Rice... that is if the sun hasn't risen yet because then it is too hot to walk anywhere. That's why Texans always have wheels... that, and for Texans to have a place to put their bumper stickers...
Born on one end of Texas, grew up on the other, now splitting the difference.
While I loved the Texan rules, and we Texans often resemble those remarks, don't forget one of the top schools in the world is in Texas... Rice.
Not great football wise, but the Village and Montrose (two of the fun places in Houston outside Six Flags) are within walking distance of Rice... that is if the sun hasn't risen yet because then it is too hot to walk anywhere. That's why Texans always have wheels... that, and for Texans to have a place to put their bumper stickers...
Born on one end of Texas, grew up on the other, now splitting the difference.
Re: Texans aren't all rednecks
Actually, Rice has become decent since I graduated in 1991, although it is a greatly diminished conference compared to the SWC of yesteryear. Last year I believe they were 8-3 or in that ballpark. (Pardon the mixed metaphor.)
Who cares? But I digress.wordsmithe said:
Actually, Rice has become decent since I graduated in 1991, although it is a greatly diminished conference compared to the SWC of yesteryear. Last year I believe they were 8-3 or in that ballpark. (Pardon the mixed metaphor.)
LdyBGemini
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Re: The stars at night
Hi genxyyz...I'm north of Houston a bit...and originally from New orleans...hi neighbor
genxyyz said:
Hi genxyyz...I'm north of Houston a bit...and originally from New orleans...hi neighbor
