Terrible Last Names

[minsue]

That reminds me, I also knew a guy once whose name was Randy Peters. Nothing like being born with your porn name.

I recently came across a customer name of Randi N Laws. Or at least I think that's how the last name was. I'm not positive at this point, I just knew I'd spent too much time at a porn site since I found myself stifling a giggle.


As for Ellis Island names, my husband's grandfather changed his name to be more American & easier to pronounce. I really wish I knew what the name originally was. Not that it's even my heritage, I'm just curious.

 

[minsue]

Oh yeah, one of the math teachers at my high school was Harry Mann.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Oh yeah, one of the math teachers at my high school was Harry Mann.

I used to work with one of his relatives - Anita Mann. Poor girl. She married into it.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I went to school with a Justine Lipschitz.

 

[logophile]

I know a woman whose maiden name was Sinn. That was tough and she was glad to marry young, just to rid herself of it.

And I knew a woman who married into the last name Berger. When they were trying to pick names for their first child, it was hard for them to come up with something that didn't sound like it was from the menu of a diner.

I also knew a little girl whose parents gave her a terrible name many years back. They weren't married, so they picked a new last name for the baby. Her whole name was Angelica Supernova Jellybean. They called her Geli (pronounced like jelly) Jellybean. That's just wrong!

 

[SensualCealy]

There is a famouns [infamous?] mercenary soldier with the name: Colonel 'Mad Mike' Hoare.

Oh I have heard of him too. My girlfriends husband says he is a couin and has his magazine articles on their rec room wall framed. Kinda cool having a mercinary as a relative as long as he isnt out to get you!

I told Beth that she should feel honoured that even Princess Di wanted to have a fling with a Hoare! ( the gallery curator or what ever he was)
C

 

[dr_mabeuse]

A few years ago a friend of mine, who was in insurance at the time, had a Vietnamese client named (pretty sure I'm not spelling this right) Phat Phuc, and yes, it was pronounced just like it looks. She asked everyone to call her Susan.

Ah, you got me with that.

Ever go into a Thai restaurant for a nice order of squid prik? Or Thai pud?

And McK, a lot of funny names come from Frisia, which I think is an old name for a part of Holland. My friend grew up in a farming town where everyone was Frisian, and they all had the names like Wackaboom and Hoopsnortle and Borremwickam.

 

[Kassiana]

I knew a German professor at my university whose last name was Brain. The German professor was, of course, referred to as Herr Brain.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I know a woman whose maiden name was Sinn. That was tough and she was glad to marry young, just to rid herself of it.

And I knew a woman who married into the last name Berger. When they were trying to pick names for their first child, it was hard for them to come up with something that didn't sound like it was from the menu of a diner.

I also knew a little girl whose parents gave her a terrible name many years back. They weren't married, so they picked a new last name for the baby. Her whole name was Angelica Supernova Jellybean. They called her Geli (pronounced like jelly) Jellybean. That's just wrong!

!!!!!

It's kinda cute for a baby, but after a while- eek!

Being a freaky weirdo myself, I would either keep it- or if I wanted anykind of professional image, I would just shorten the last part to Bean. It's a decent last name. And besided, the second 'jelly' is kind of redundant. As a writer, i don't like that

Someday, I might halfway steal that name and write a story about Angelica Bean. It will be entirely a coinceidence of course.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I know a woman whose maiden name was Sinn. That was tough and she was glad to marry young, just to rid herself of it.

I knew a girl in HS who's last name was Petersen or Peterson, or something like that. She liked it so much she said she would only marry someone with the same last name and the same spelling- otherwise she would keep her name. (If I remember the story correctly)

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Not a last name, but I once knew a fellow whose parents named him Exit.

 

[BlackShanglan]

My mother worked with a woman with the last name "Clare" and the first name of "Ida." She had a special, sour, thin-lipped smile for people who thought it a striking dash of originality to great her with "Well, Ida Clare!" ("I declare!")

Texas not only had a governor named "Hogg," but one who named his daughter "Ima." More here: http://www.famoustexans.com/imahogg.htm

I've just remembered, however, the real winner (in my book) for "parent most deserving corporal punishment for child's name." This was a friend of a friend - a couple, actually - who mutually agreed to name all of their children after characters in "Star Trek: The Next Generation." I wish I was making this up. I suppose that at least William Riker <last name> and Beverly Crusher <last name> have some hopes of living normal lives, but they did actually name one Data NMI <last name>. In fact, he's probably nearly of age to buy his own deer rifle for use when he finally snaps.

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Rumple, I know some Grubbses too! Terrible surname.

Back when I was tending bar, one of our dancers married one of our bouncers and elected to hyphenate her name. She voluntarily became a Grillo-Fryberger.

It would be a tough call for me between "Grubbs" and "Buggs."

Sometimes last names acquire a new meaning in our pop culture that can make life a bit tedious for families who have carried those names for generations. One I knew well was flopping along, living the good life, not bothering anyone and, in general, being an asset to the community. Their name was of French origin but had been Anglicized generations earlier into a nice, easy-to-pronounce, five-letter, two-syllable word. Then came the movies starring Sylvester Stallone as John RAMBO.

A friend of mine, one of those cute-as-a-bug blonde cheerleader types you'd love to hate if she wasn't so damn nice, once joked, "How'd you like to go to high school during the '60's with a name like, Cherrie?"

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I nearly forgot.

For about three months, I flipped burgers with James "Just call me Jimmy" Bond.

 

[shereads]

The Badcock family are the owners of a chain of furniture stores in the Southeast. My mother is one of many customers who maintain plausible denial by pronouncing it "Babcock."

They were briefly a client of one of the twenty-seven ad agencies where I've worked in real-life or in my nightmares. Declining professional help with their website, their marketing manager told me, "We've been really pleased with the number of hits at the site." No online commerce as such, but thousands and thousands of hits every day.

 

[inqubus]

At my high school, we have a Ms. Rimmer; I'm fairly sure her first name doesn't help her case either.

On a side note, who's seen Scary Movie? I swear to god she looks just like Ms. Mann, and teaches phys ed.

She's also been know to force the girls to change in her presence.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

This is in NO WAY, shape or form an effort or intention to turn this thread into something it is not. I may have missed this name earlier in this thread, but one of the worst last names I've ever heard is "Bush."

I'd blush with that one every time I introduced myself to someone.

 

[jfinn]

Hollopeiter, Schimcoshitz, Fink, Finkle, Finkbeinder, Fallis, Fuch, Tinkler, Tingle, Tickle... Some of the names of people I've known.

Bill Lear of jet fame named his daughter Christa Shanda. My mom went to school with Christyl Glass and when she was seven was told there was no Santa by a kid named Jack Frost. My sister was friends in high school with Heidi Hough and her twin Holly. A freind of mine was born into a family that got cute with initials. Her's was CAT her baby sister KIT, the brothers MAT and JET. These were their nicknames, thank god nobody was named Rachel Ann.

Jayne

 

[ishtat]

I went to school with a guy called Cecil Pitt and later worked with a man who was christened Michael Hunt. People generally took care to call him either Michael or Mr Hunt.

My favourite was told me by my brother in law who taught high school in Chicago. One of his (male ) students was christened Narcissis, his surname was Love. Apparently he was a real tough nut - maybe he had to be.

 

[Saucyminx]

no really

My sister married a man who's last name is Glasscock. His uncle's first name is Green. So, yep, his name is Green Glasscock.

And last night, we went to a high school graduation and some poor young lady's name was Tiffany Teats. (I did manage to keep the snickers to a minimum.)

I thought my parents hated me for giving me the middle name Minx--I had no idea.

 

[Guest]

At my high school, we have a Ms. Rimmer; I'm fairly sure her first name doesn't help her case either.

On a side note, who's seen Scary Movie? I swear to god she looks just like Ms. Mann, and teaches phys ed.

She's also been know to force the girls to change in her presence.

Hmmm.

Did we go to the same high school?



edited to add - I had a PE teacher with similar facial/body characteristics. Her name was - unfortunately for her - Ms. Cannon.

And she was.

 

[BlackShanglan]

My favourite was told me by my brother in law who taught high school in Chicago. One of his (male ) students was christened Narcissis, his surname was Love. Apparently he was a real tough nut - maybe he had to be.

Ah, the old "boy named Sue" phenomena. I knew a man with the first name of Breffney once - it was one of those southern family tradition things. Actually an excellent person to know, good sense of humor and a strong work ethic, kind and friendly. Also attending a military academy and built like a wrestler who plays football in his spare time. I don't think he got a lot of jokes about his name.

Shanglan

 

[dr_mabeuse]

There's a family that goes to the local grammar school that has three daughters: Christine, Kristin, and Christina.

I used to work on the south side in a furniture store. We had a cuntomer named Cleatorius Williams.

 

[Softouch911]

Now this is a funny thread!

Grauwiler.

A family I knew once named their son Peter. Their last name was Sage. Unfortunately, they stuck the poor tyke with a middle name of "The."