LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Tell a Joke

(RARE SIGHTING)
I AM FORTUNATE TO HAVE A FRIEND THAT LIVES IN COPACABANA BEACH IN RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL.

HE WAS ABLE TO SEND ME A PICTURE OF THE VERY RARE BRAZILIAN OCTOPUS “TEMPLAMOSLO DURO MAN”.

IT IS NOT ONLY RARE BUT IT IS THE LARGEST OCTOPUS IN THE WATERS THAT BORDER SOUTH AMERICA.

IT IS ALSO A DELICACY FOR THOSE OF US THAT ENJOY AN OCCASIONAL TREAT OF “SUSHI”.

(ALTHOUGH I KNOW IT IS AN ACQUIRED TASTE)

http://www.orsm.net/images/brazilian-octopus.jpg
 
There was a knock on the door this past Saturday morning.
I opened it to find a well-dressed, cute young man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the shit out of me! Nobody ever let me in before."
 
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?!" she asked.

"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

He never heard the gunshot.
 
A lizard walks into a bar, the bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you!". The lizard looks at the guy and says "you guys have a drink named Steve?"
 
Amazing display of beautiful, restored old cars in a fifties setting.


<http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=WbN_BAn55a4&pop_ads=null>
 
Who is Joshua Chellew...?

The fact that you don't know his name is the whole point. But that’s not your fault.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5pjdXTKbMyI

Marietta Daily Journal, 7/3/13:
Four south Cobb teenagers are in custody in connection with the beating death of a 36-year-old Mableton man on Mableton Parkway early Sunday morning… They have been accused in the beating death of Joshua Heath Chellew, 36…

According to the warrant, the four teenagers are accused of starting a fight with Chellew at a Chevron gas station in the 6200 block of Mableton Parkway near Community Drive at about 1:20 a.m. Sunday. They repeatedly punched and kicked him, according to police.

While attempting to escape, Chellew backed into the center five-lane highway and was pushed to the ground and knocked unconscious, the warrant states. They then walked away from Chellew, “leaving him helpless,” and he was eventually hit by a car, the warrant states.

A horrible, senseless murder. Why hasn't it received wider attention...?

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p320x320/619_199700183527511_1503236392_n.jpg

http://www.mdjonline.com/view/full_...ng-are-accused-in-beating-death#ixzz2aRA35NI4
 
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After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the girl sitting next to him pulled out her mobile phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart, it's Erica , I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting."

"No, honey, not with that bloke from the accounts office, it was with the boss."

"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. "

"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart."

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the young man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Erica, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
Erica doesn't use her mobile phone in public any longer.

I like this man.
 
Men Don’t Think about Sex Every Seven Seconds
By Laura Berman, PhD

YOUR REACTION?

I Like It So So Inspiring Intriguing Important

Sexuality is more complicated and nuanced than most urban legends would have you believe.

Men think about sex every seven seconds, or so a commonly cited urban legend would have us believe. Like most urban legends, the origin is hazy, but the information is widely accepted and repeated ad nauseam. However, a new study from Duke University suggests otherwise.

The researchers asked over 200 men and women to fill out a survey regarding sex and relationships. A month later, they then asked the participants to review their sexual activity for the last 30 days. They found that both men and women overestimated the frequency in which they had sex and the frequency they thought about sex. The researchers also discovered that the opposite was true when people reported being in a bad mood. If someone was angry or sad, they were more likely to under-estimate their sexual frequency and downplay their sexual pleasure.

Nor is this the first study to examine whether men really think about sex more than women do. Researchers at Ohio State University asked college-aged men and women to fill out a questionnaire detailing their attitudes towards sex, and then they were given a device to help them tally how often they thought about sex during the day. Men were found to think about sex around 19 times a day, while women thought about sex around 10 times a day. Hence, while men did spend slightly more time engaging in sexual thoughts, women were not far behind.

Interestingly, researchers also found that incidence of sexual thoughts were most highly governed by one’s own sexual belief system. In other words, people who had anxiety, shame, or guilt around their sexuality were less likely to have sexual thoughts, while people who were comfortable and secure in their sexuality were more likely to have sexual thoughts. (Or, perhaps they were more willing to confess these sexual thoughts to the researchers). Furthermore, it was found that women who had a higher need for social acceptance were also less likely to have sexual thoughts, presumably because that old chestnut ‘nice girls don’t have sex’ still seems to haunt our society.

Findings such as this have much to teach us about our current sexual landscape. While young men still lead the pack when it comes to sexual thoughts, it is interesting to see young women gaining on them. Clearly, sexuality and sexual desires are not limited only to the male of the species, and women have just as many fantasies and sexual impulses as men do.

Still, it is sad that some women still cut these sexual thoughts off at the pass in order to be “good girls.” Not only are these women denying an essential part of who they are, but they are doing a disservice to their own sexual response and to their own relationships. When you shut off your sexual side and refuse to think about sex, you will have a very hard time ‘flipping the switch’ when you do enter a sexual situation. You won’t know your own body or your own responses, and you won’t be able to relax and enjoy the moment.

By generating more sexual thoughts throughout the day and creating a mental landscape that celebrates and welcomes sex, you will be much more likely to enjoy sex with your partner and to initiate sexual contact in an organic and spontaneous way. Thinking about sex throughout the day is a positive activity for men and women, so don’t be afraid to fantasize and let your mind run wild. It will sure make sitting in traffic a lot more fun!
 
INVITATION‏

We are hosting a charity concert for people

who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can’t come let me know.
 
Book Report-Old But Fun!!!



Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost - $29.99

Clinton: Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read

Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica... Ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.
 
Area 51
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
 
The Wit of Phyllis Diller...


Funny lady!




The Wit of Phyllis Diller----[a trip down memory lane ]

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty
fades, so will his eyesight.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like
shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never
wear the same outfit in public.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want
to move in with them.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only
thing that keeps some parents going.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank
has just been robbed.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them
to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out.--- I was in his room.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job
the next day.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin
in the steam iron.

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How
about short and cheap?

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a
ghetto.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles
away.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a
trick knee.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep
away from children.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
 
The Hug Of The Century

The woman in the video found this lion injured in the forest and about to die.

She took the lion with her and nursed the lion back to health.

When the lion was better, she made arrangements with a zoo to take the lion and give it a new and happy home.

This video was taken when the woman, after some time had passed, went to visit the lion to see how he was doing.

Watch the lion's reaction when he sees her... amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLB_u695wTg <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLB_u695wTg>
 
Except for inflated prices, high gasoline, a stagnant labor force, adults living at home with their parents, record numbers on food stamps and welfare, the government spying on us, the lowest labor force participation rate in 60 years, the longest recession since the Great D, te worst racial divisivness in 40 years, threats of wars, the middle east collapsing, getting overrun by illegal mexicans, the IRS being used as a political weapon, an out of control deficit, health care going down in flames, record unemloyment, and a dysfunctional congress, obama is doing a great job running the country.
 
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