Techniques for the virgin...I think I need help on this one ;)

[FireyCherry]

Ok, so this sounds incredibly immature, you are probably even thinking, "wow how old is this girl? are their actually 18 year old self proclaimed virgins in this country?" I don't disagree, about 80% of my friends had lost their virginity before their 16th birthdays, trying to get me to enter the erotic toy store for my 18th, and constantly telling me that waiting for "Mr. Right" was just, well, wrong. Well, I think I found him, so what is I have known him since I was still sucking my thumb and learning to tie my shoes, but at least I know where he has been right? Ok, I will stop trying to defend myself, stop with my boring and irritating personals, my reakl question is: what should I expect?

Ok, I like to occasional erotica; stories, films, pictures...But here it is, in my face, S-E-X. I don't know what to expect. What if I am too tight for a 8 1/2 inch dick? What is it doesn't pleasure me? What if I get nervous? What if the universe is going to collape, well, at least that is how I feel. I took a lot of risks for him, and him for me. He is not a virgin, in fact he spent 2 years fucking my best friend (for lack of better diction) When they first started having sex it took them 3 times before he could go all the way inside! Ahhh! I am so scared! I know what you are probably thinking, oh, get over it, grow up. But that is not the problem, the problem is that I want fireworks, passion, romance. Three things that rarely come with your "first time".

Well, anyway, he is so supportive. He has been reading up on the best ways to make he comfortable, and I really think that is so great of him. He found that putting a pillow under the lower back and using this gentle jelly-lubricant stuff makes it much easier, and my best fired, his ex totally loved the stuff. So, finally, my question is; what are some of the techniques that have helped you? You probably didn't put this much thought into your first time, but any help (and please don't criticize my panic over the topic) you can give I would really appreciate.


-Aim

 

[Aaron26]

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[PrettySarcasticF]

There is nothing wrong with you being a virgin & waiting for that one guy who you want to share yourself with ...

I heard the same things-- all my friends who had sex before told me it was going to hurt, its was not going to be any fun, and that in everyone's first time that there was not going to be much pleasure.

Well needless to say when my first time came around, I was nervous & I was worried about the pain everyone told me about. I did not experience any of those things, there was a little hurt but then it was gone and replaced by pleasure. I did not experience the " pain" everyone talked about.

My man knew it was my first time and he was so very sweet,gentle, and patient with me. Our first night together was very special & we had a wonderful time & still do...

I have to say that I am glad I waited for the right guy & my first time was at the start of this year ... and I am 26 years old.

So trust me ... you are not the only virgin out there.

Enjoy yourself and take your time.

 

[lilminx]

As everyone else on here said, don't feel bad or feel the need to justify the fact that you are still a virgin. I waited until in was almost 18- long after my friends had all lost theirs, and I never once regretted it (unlike some of my friends- lol). I will tell you though- no matter how prepared you are for it, or how much he prepares you- it's going to hurt somewhat. I would recommend getting some sort of lube like KY liquid or Astroglide. It might help ease the pain a little. Just make sure you take it slow, and don't let him rush it either. Have fun and good luck! Let us all know what happens...

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Hay no need to defend yourself, i'm 22 and a virgin for the same reason. I want someone i love and who loves me back. I just ignore those who pick at me, cause i've heard problems they have had by not waiting.

I hope i'm not steeling your thread but, anyone have the advice fo the oposit situation? A guy's first time, what should i do, how to aproach it, make it last, romantic anything else you can think of?

No i don't think my first time will be anytime in the near future, i've still not found that right person. However Knowing ahead of time what to do would be good. That way come my time I won't be lost.

 

[Mz_Scarlett]

I think it is wonderful that you've waited! The fact that you are into erotica to begin with will probably ease some of the tension when you are together- I know that I was totally clueless when I lost my virginity at the age of 16

I have to agree with lilminx- get some kind of lubricant! It will definately help. Take it easy. Create some atmosphere and don't rush yourselves.

Yes, it will most likely hurt for the first time and you may not enjoy it to the fullest, but considering the fact that you are so close to your partner, I think it will be a beautiful experience

Enjoy!

 

[SallyIsHere]

Talk about it

I suggest you keep up the communication during sexual intimacy, keep it light and enjoy it as another new shared adventure. You might want to be on top, leaning against his chest, so you can rock back on his cock and have control. And Astroglide is wonderful. Use it liberally.

I think it will be great for the both of you.

Sally

 

[cyndiesweet]

Everyone has given great advice. I have to say though my first time wasn't painful at all. I am pretty active physically so maybe I just didn't have much hyman left.

Do everything you can to set the stage. Plan to be alone a hotel or something not someone else's house.(Sorry if I offend but you never know what your resources are at 18) Do what ever gets you hot over the course of several hours before the actual act. I'm talking about movies, stories, cuddling, whatever works to get you really worked up. Then move on to the actual foreplay.The more aroused you are the less afraid you will be.Yes, use lots of lubricant. Consider something to take the edge off your nervousness. I don't think drinking is legal in any state at 18 but I am not sure. One drink could help you to relax but don't get sauced. Other wise there some herbal products out there. I take one with Kavavkava when I need a little extra help in the nerves department. Be careful not to get one that will make you drowsy though.

Make some excellent memories. Good Luck

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i just experienced my first time about 1.5 weeks ago.. and i must say that if he is willing to go slow, do it that way. you can let him know in some way when you are ready to move on to that level. i was nervous for my first time and all, and i told him that before we did it, and he comforted me some and got me to relax (which is a great thing to be during sex).. it didnt hurt me at all, but i think that's mostly because my hymen was no longer in tact from foreplay, and my own masturbation.. i will say that my first time was my most memorable and pleasurable sexual experiences.

as for being nervous, i'll suggest that you relax, pay attention to your breathing (sounds dumb i know, but it helps a lot).. if you take little breaths you will most likely be really tense and it wont be a very good experience.

the universe is not going to collapse. and there may be the "fireworks, passion, and romance" there was with my first time (and every time since).. if you truly love each other, you will probably feel the love while you're having sex.. it sounds odd (it did to me at first), but i really felt the love during my first time.

as far as what to expect.. i'll say a slight bit of pain, but not much.. lots of pleasure physically, mentally, and emotionally.. the love he has for you.. among other things

and if you do get scared, let him know.. if he cares for you enough, he'll wait until you're ready. i'm not going to say there is nothing to be scared of because there is a lot... but i will suggest you face your fear with the man you care about.. its not worth it any other time.