Teasing, Bandaids and school yard machismo

*Lazer*

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When I was 14 I had the misfortune to be in gym class with all the cheerleaders and class babes. I can still remember the excruciating experience of dressing and showering with these more glandular types. One day they took my bra and left two bandaids and snickered while I blushed and got nausated I was so embarassed. I was tall, skinny, and had a chest that filled me with despair. My experience was minor but I wonder what your opinion of this type of behavior is and should adults intervene. I have several friends who home school their children rather then place them in what they consider a unhealthy climate. I wonder do any of you home school your kids and if so why do you do it?
 
I would never homeschool my children to shield them from schoolyard teasing. I would rather my children fight back in one way or another, match verbal barbs with wit, match punches with a smackdown.

Shielding your children will protect them from the cold and heartless environment that a public school can be, but it will not prepare them for the cold and heartless environment the world can be.

Teach your children to hold their heads high and stand up for themselves. If you stand up for yourself, you may take your licks, but you will never go to bed that night ashamed.
 
I always wished I had been home-schooled

And that would be reason enough for me to decide on home schooling! Choose wisely though:)
 
Laser, what a mean thing those girls did! I think that sometimes adults shrug these things off as "normal" childish pranks, but cruelty needs to be addressed and those girls ought to have been made to feel ashamed of themselves.

I agree with Rambing Man, though. The world can be an ugly place, and we have to learn to deal with it. I think generally children are better off counselled to deal with teasing and meanness on their own, but if things go to far, a change of schools can sometimes help.
 
I suffered a momentary embarassment and on the scale of things in my life at that time it was shall we say "small potatoes". I was different from them and they knew it and wanted to distance themselves from what they saw as undesirable. It is human nature and kids are not ones to deviate from the pack at those ages.

I just wonder what parents tell their kids about demeaning someone. Is it learned and so tends to recycle through generations? Most times I think it is just as simple as not being connected or concious that what we do matters. What we say and do has impact on each of us. Or is it a choice we make ignoring the voice inside that cringes as we accelerate towards the negative?

I know blah blah blah.....:rolleyes:
 
Lazer

I'm sorry that happened to you. We all go through getting teased and harrassed as we grow up.

I believe many parents don't talk with their children about how it affects other people when they are teased. Either that, or their parents were the type to tease other kids when they were growing up and use that as the only way to make themselves feel "bigger" than others.
 
I have three slightly different perspectives on this issue.

I was a student.
I am a teacher.
I am a mother.

As a student, i was teased a bit, just like everyone. However, though it hurt me at the time, it taught me a few good lessons. I learned how i did not want to behave toward anyone else. Watching the "herd" mentality that permeates how some groups of girls hurt an outsider, loner girl, i learned how stupid and silly it was to go along with others while they did nasty, bad things. I learned how it felt to be hurt like that, and decided i didn't want to do it to others.

As a teacher, i see kids being home schooled by parents who are totally unsuitable to the task. I worry for the kids that are being taught math by those who do not understand the mechanics of basic algebra, much less what a cotangent is or what the heck to do with an inverse function. I ache for the kids whose parents who take them out of public school for home schooling, and then (essentially) abandon those kids with some workbooks.

There's a lot wrong with our public schools, yes, but there's a lot right, too. There are many more earnest, forward-thinking, dedicated, gifted teachers in amongst those we revile for being tired and worn out and uncaring. They work in the quiet of their classrooms, year after year, educating the kids that sit in front of them, as is their job.

Those of us who teach, we do it because we *have* to, for the most part. It's a calling. We're good at it. Don't be so quick to point out all the wrongs and jerk your kids from our care. We'll likely do a much better job of educating them than you're aware.

As a mother, i've seen my big girl hurt a time or two and i wanted to race to school and rip the heads of those chickenshit little girls that DARED hurt my baby.

But i didn't.
I talked to her about coping mechanisms.
We talked about communication skills.
We talked about avoidance tactics.
We talked about when and how to go tell the teacher/other administrators.

Last year, for something that just seemed to go on and on, i advised her to snarl obscenities back at the girl who was doing that to her. It empowered my girl (who is not prone to either obscenities or snarling) and shocked the shit out of the other girl (who went home and told her mother, who called me, and we had to have one of those parent-kid get together to iron it all out - which was my WHOLE goal cuz nothing else was working). They're friends now and have been since that happened in the beginning of their 7th grade year.

Moral of the story:
Sometimes you just gotta snarl, "Fuck off and die, bitch!" to those who are bothering you.
:cool:
 
lazer

school was a nightmare for me, i mean being teased sounds like no big deal, but when it was happening it was overwhelming....just thinking about it now and wounds open and sting....you may believe it is harmless, schoolyard stuff, but guess what it cuts to the quick....not only was i dealing with these bullies at school i was dealing with other personal crap....little did anyone know, the compounding of these things often made me think of ending it all....teach your kids to be considerate, understanding loving indivduals, and spare some other kid the trauma of growing up..........
 
Believe me when I tell you that school teasing was nothing it caused me to blush and feel self concious for a bit. What interests me is how we teach our kids to deal with agression. I knew those girls were just budding up and excluding me because I was not really interested in being their friends. They were for the most part pampered little princesses who had everything handed to them. In other words people with a great sense of entitlement. They never got too nasty with me, cause I had six great looking brothers (hee hee).

I have seen interactions here that rival any playground quarrel any number of times. Complete with running to get your little friends to beat up on someone who is different from you. I just wonder if we ever really change from that childish egocentric outlook? Does the little princess stay a little princess. Does the little prince? I think the kids who change are the ones maligned. I honestly don't know cause I left school at fourteen and completed a GED before going to college and grad school. What do you think? Do the stinkers ever really change or do they just assume a thin veneer of civility?
 
I got teased a little bit at school 'cause my Dad was a teacher there and I'd moved to the country from the city but I was never bullied.

Anyway, whenever I see the guys who were "nutters" or bullies at school nowadays they often tend to look a bit ravaged and tired in the eyes, as if they've turned to drink. (I met one a few months ago who's homeless now.) I guess whatever made them arseholes at school also led them into hard-living.
 
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