Teacher, I need to see the nurse!

[Guest]

One of our friends is an RN at a middle school.

Students fill out a request slip when they need to see her during the school day. They have to list a specific reason to see the nurse and she has been saving some of the more interesting ones. Here are a few:


My head is hurtin like whoa!

About teachers and bus incoddent, nurse, throat hurts just got over flea

My head does not fill good.

tite rape (I believe they mean they need a 'tight wrap')

When I looked at snow it felt like my lef eye was gonna explode.

craping in the legs - very bad

I have a spilenter in my hand and it is pussy

fingers are sore because they're so small

 

[oggbashan]

I used to vet self-certificated sick absence notes for 1000 employees to watch for repeated absences or absences with a pattern.

Employees could sign themselves off sick for three days at a time. Beyond that they needed a doctor's note. More than 10 days sick absence in a year without seeing a doctor, then they needed a doctor's note for every absence.

Reasons for absence:

1 day: brain tumour (no previous visits to doctor of hospital - self diagnosed).
Investigation revealed that employee thought a severe headache was a migraine; a very severe headache was worse and the only thing he could think of worse than a migraine was a brain tumour. Supervisor's diagnosis - hangover after a friend's stag party - the first and only time this employee had ever had a hangover. Remember your first? Action taken: Informed employee of difference between hangover and headache and that a 'brain tumour' was not a severe headache, nor was a migraine. Certificate amended to read 'headache and vomiting' - absence accepted.

2. PMT from a male employee.
Investigation: Her PMT had meant he was hit with a frying pan giving him a bruised nose and two black eyes. He spent the day in the hospital emergency unit waiting treatment.
Supervisor's diagnosis: Employee deserved it. He was treating his partner badly. (Supervisor was female)
Action. Certificate amended to domestic accident. Employee warned to learn about signs of impending conflict and to treat his partner more reasonably. Further absences for this cause would lead to disciplinary action for him. His partner was informed by her union representative that HE was in trouble for inciting her. His union representative gave him a grandfatherly talk about tact and diplomacy in domestic situations. No further similar absences.

Og

 

[Tanuki]

That's so funny!
I hate the craping in the legs, that is the worst!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

His partner was informed by her union representative that HE was in trouble for inciting her.

Og,

Great story, but the pronouns in that sentence had a little more confused than usual. Also, what's a PMT?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

Og,

Great story, but the pronouns in that sentence had a little more confused than usual. Also, what's a PMT?

Rumple Foreskin

Pre-Menstrual Tension!!!

Lou

 

[Xelebes]

So... let me guess. The bad mood opposite of the PMS is the AMS? Anti-Menstration Syndrome or something along that line?