Taming of the Shrew

[Guru]

HORTENSIO


But I have cause to pry into this pedant:
Methinks he looks as though he were in love:
Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble
To cast thy wandering eyes on every stale,
Seize thee that list: if once I find thee ranging,
Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing.

Exit

 

[Guru]

SCENE II. Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.



Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA, LUCENTIO, and others, attendants

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


[To TRANIO] Signior Lucentio, this is the
'pointed day.
That Katharina and Petruchio should be married,
And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.
What will be said? what mockery will it be,
To want the bridegroom when the priest attends
To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!
What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced
To give my hand opposed against my heart
Unto a mad-brain rudesby full of spleen;
Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure.
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:
And, to be noted for a merry man,
He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,
Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;
Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd.
Now must the world point at poor Katharina,
And say, 'Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife,
If it would please him come and marry her!'

 

[Guru]

TRANIO


Patience, good Katharina, and Baptista too.
Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,
Whatever fortune stays him from his word:
Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;
Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


Would Katharina had never seen him though!

Exit weeping, followed by BIANCA and others

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep;
For such an injury would vex a very saint,
Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.

Enter BIONDELLO

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


Master, master! news, old news, and such news as
you never heard of!

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


Is it new and old too? how may that be?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


Why, is it not news, to hear of Petruchio's coming?

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


Is he come?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


Why, no, sir.

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


What then?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


He is coming.

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


When will he be here?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


When he stands where I am and sees you there.

 

[Guru]

TRANIO


But say, what to thine old news?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old
jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair
of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled,
another laced, an old rusty sword ta'en out of the
town-armory, with a broken hilt, and chapeless;
with two broken points: his horse hipped with an
old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred;
besides, possessed with the glanders and like to mose
in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected
with the fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with
spavins, rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives,
stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the
bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten;
near-legged before and with, a half-chequed bit
and a head-stall of sheeps leather which, being
restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been
often burst and now repaired with knots; one girth
six time pieced and a woman's crupper of velure,
which hath two letters for her name fairly set down
in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


Who comes with him?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned
like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a
kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red
and blue list; an old hat and 'the humour of forty
fancies' pricked in't for a feather: a monster, a
very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian
footboy or a gentleman's lackey.

 

[Guru]

TRANIO


'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;
Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-apparell'd.

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


Why, sir, he comes not.

 

[Guru]

BAPTISTA


Didst thou not say he comes?

 

[Guru]

BIONDELLO


Who? that Petruchio came?