Taming of the Shrew

[Guru]

KATHARINA


Faith, as cold as can be.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
Here love; thou see'st how diligent I am
To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee:
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What, not a word? Nay, then thou lovest it not;
And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
Here, take away this dish.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


I pray you, let it stand.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


I thank you, sir.

 

[Guru]

HORTENSIO


Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
Come, mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


[Aside] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.
Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,
Will we return unto thy father's house
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats and caps and golden rings,
With ruffs and cuffs and fardingales and things;
With scarfs and fans and double change of bravery,
With amber bracelets, beads and all this knavery.
What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.

Enter Tailor

Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
Lay forth the gown.

Enter Haberdasher

What news with you, sir?

 

[Guru]

Haberdasher


Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
A velvet dish: fie, fie! 'tis lewd and filthy:
Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap:
Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


I'll have no bigger: this doth fit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
And not till then.

 

[Guru]

HORTENSIO


[Aside] That will not be in haste.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will break,
And rather than it shall, I will be free
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


Why, thou say'st true; it is a paltry cap,
A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie:
I love thee well, in that thou likest it not.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
And it I will have, or I will have none.

Exit Haberdasher

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


Thy gown? why, ay: come, tailor, let us see't.
O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
What's this? a sleeve? 'tis like a demi-cannon:
What, up and down, carved like an apple-tart?
Here's snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
Like to a censer in a barber's shop:
Why, what, i' devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?

 

[Guru]

HORTENSIO


[Aside] I see she's like to have neither cap nor gown.

 

[Guru]

Tailor


You bid me make it orderly and well,
According to the fashion and the time.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


Marry, and did; but if you be remember'd,
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go, hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir:
I'll none of it: hence! make your best of it.

 

[Guru]

KATHARINA


I never saw a better-fashion'd gown,
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable:
Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

 

[Guru]

Tailor


She says your worship means to make
a puppet of her.

 

[Guru]

PETRUCHIO


O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread,
thou thimble,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!
Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread?
Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;
Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou livest!
I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.

 

[Guru]

Tailor


Your worship is deceived; the gown is made
Just as my master had direction:
Grumio gave order how it should be done.

 

[Guru]

GRUMIO


I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.