Talking to Myself

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Hello. This is my personal "dumping ground" to be cathartic and get some thoughts out of my head. I'm not writing to or about anyone in particular; if you happen to think I'm targeting you, please send me a private message and we can discuss the issue, but it absolutely is never my intent to single anyone out.

What will I be posting?
- Personal struggles
- Life Highlights
- Questions I can't seem to answer
- Emotional vomit
- Fantasies
- Desires
- Review of stories I may have read
- Links to videos that really tripped my trigger
- A whole lot of randomness

How frequently will I post?
- No idea.
- Sometimes I go MIA for days/weeks.
- Sometimes I'm on here a lot.

Feel free to take a look into my psyche, but you're warned - it's not a great place to visit!

Conversation is welcome, feedback and input is great, and me talking just to myself is fine too.

We'll see how this goes...

Oh, and before anyone makes the suggestion, I'm already in therapy. Thanks...

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

In the past 20 years I have lived in:
- 7 houses
- 5 states (but the first and last are the same)
- 3 timezones
- temporarily lived in 1 other state and 1 other country

We are so much more alike than we want to admit.
Do you know what I've seen as the biggest difference between the poor urban black population and the poor rural white population? Melanin. How about adding in the poor brown population overseas? Melanin.

Behaviors are fairly universal, needs are universal, wants are universal. So why do we bicker, fight, wage war, etc.? We are literally taught hate. We are taught that "they" are a threat to us for "x" reason.

But the reality? Some others are taught hate too. And they are taught to hate until death.

How do we balance the existential conflict between love, compassion, grace and self-defense and protecting each other?

This isn't a political issue, it's a human condition issue. It makes me so painfully sad. I've seen the full spectrum from incredible love to immense hate and I just can't figure out what to support and how to behave. My hands are not clean, but I believe they may be washed with power beyond my own.

Wow, didn't know where this was going to go, but that got deep, quickly.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Fucking COVID. How the hell could I go all this time, after having been "essential" during those dark times, and only NOW catch this shit? What a way to cap off a frustrating weekend.

Brownies, I beg you, let this weekend end with a win!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Run to the Water - Live

It's as crazy as it's ever been,
Love's a stranger all around

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

What is the difference between arrogance and privilege?
I see the strife and tensions caused by people who always fall along one of two sides; they are either an arrogant asshole that doesn't give 2 shits about anyone else, or totally unaware of the power and advantage they enjoy.
Is the first ways arrogance?
Is the second always privilege?

It seems most people don't acknowledge their own arrogance but many more are willing to admit they have privilege.

As an imbecile that is usually unaware of my situation, I never want to be assumed to be an arrogant asshole. If I'm operating with privilege and blind to it, I would hope I could be corrected with gentleness as it's not intentional - at least, that's my typical situation.

I don't know, I just wish we could all get along.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

In a world with over 7 billion people, where I live within 90% of the US and Canadian populations, I still feel alone.

How?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Have quite the urge for debauchery. Oh to have a playmate!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Family Camping Trip

Not my normal read, but fairly stimulating. As a parent, I just don't know how I feel about this sort of fantasy. As I get older, I feel uncomfortable being turned on by college-aged women. My own kids? I dunno...

If anyone else reads this, I'd be curious what you think of it.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I've never done so before, but I have acquiesced control of when I climax to an online associate. I've never done this before, but I'm enjoying it. I'm doing my best to closely follow all of the instructions given. It's kept me more aroused than I had expected, which is making this particularly challenging, but in an excellent way.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I probably shouldn't be drinking this entire bottle of mead while I'm working, but who's going to stop me?

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Past Yesterday - Jelly Roll
I was listening to his new album and this played, which caught me completely off guard. It fucked me up, but glad to hear people bringing things like this to the masses.
*Warning: involves sexual assault*

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

What songs really get me going:
Closer - NIN
WAP - Cardi B
Don' Cha - Pussycat Dolls
Nights in White Satin - Moody Blues
2 Become 1 - Spice Girls
I'll Make Love to You - Boyz 2 Men
Criminal - Fiona Apple
Think I'm in Love with You - Chris Stapleton
Unholy - Sam Smith ft. Kim Petras
You're Making Me High - Toni Braxton
Good for You - Selena Gomez ft. A$AP Rocky
What Lovers Do - Justin Timberlake

 

[kathyisgr65]

Hello. This is my personal "dumping ground" to be cathartic and get some thoughts out of my head. I'm not writing to or about anyone in particular; if you happen to think I'm targeting you, please send me a private message and we can discuss the issue, but it absolutely is never my intent to single anyone out.

What will I be posting?
- Personal struggles
- Life Highlights
- Questions I can't seem to answer
- Emotional vomit
- Fantasies
- Desires
- Review of stories I may have read
- Links to videos that really tripped my trigger
- A whole lot of randomness

How frequently will I post?
- No idea.
- Sometimes I go MIA for days/weeks.
- Sometimes I'm on here a lot.

Feel free to take a look into my psyche, but you're warned - it's not a great place to visit!

Conversation is welcome, feedback and input is great, and me talking just to myself is fine too.

We'll see how this goes...

Oh, and before anyone makes the suggestion, I'm already in therapy. Thanks...

This is a great idea
I've thought about something similar but I'm scared of some of the shit in my head...who knows what freaky deaky mother fuckers it would attract
Enjoy ur therapy...

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

This is a great idea
I've thought about something similar but I'm scared of some of the shit in my head...who knows what freaky deaky mother fuckers it would attract
Enjoy ur therapy...

I'm afraid of what's lurking in my head as well, but I'm not afraid of attracting freaky deaky motherfuckers. The advantage of being a dude.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I'm afraid of what's lurking in my head as well, but I'm not afraid of attracting freaky deaky motherfuckers. The advantage of being a dude.

Haha
I actually prefer freaky deaky to an extent.
That's one of the perks of having a dirty old man residing inside this wonderfully messy mind

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I am a music nerd. To me, it is the most powerful expression in human existence. There is a contemporary piece, written by my favorite contemporary composer - Eric Whitacre, that just breaks me.

I was able to see him give a presentation of the following work before it was performed by one of the nation's best choruses (not the one linked below). The presentation included the lyricist, who happens to be the widower to the work's subject. The late subject, her husband, and Eric were all friends.

This is a long masterpiece, and excruciatingly emotional. But it's incredible.

Normally, tissues are needed for more fun reasons here on Lit. This is not one of those examples.

The Sacred Veil - Eric Whitacre, The Los Angeles Master Chorale

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I'm a highly unusual turn of events for me, I'm feeling cuddly today. I have no idea why.

 

[Deadfreak]

Family Camping Trip

Not my normal read, but fairly stimulating. As a parent, I just don't know how I feel about this sort of fantasy. As I get older, I feel uncomfortable being turned on by college-aged women. My own kids? I dunno...

If anyone else reads this, I'd be curious what you think of it.

When I first discovered Lit it was to read stories. I had become bored with conventional "porn sites", when I realized the authors were "amateur" I was more interested.
I started with subjects that fell into my fantasy categories such as threesome, swinging and general couple experimentations. Quickly I found my way to the fetish section to explore my kinkedness which mostly pertains to female foot worship and footjob experience and some butt fun, things that interest me that I didn't necessarily get to try with partners.
The beauty of Lit is you find a story or 7 about just about anything under the sun and some where the sun don't shine. Shortly I found myself most often in the incest/taboo pages. This was something I had no experience with and was not interested in pursuing in real life at all, but I found the writing to be the hottest to me as far as the sex description and/or setup. Whether that is because I am personally interested or the authors are more enthusiastic about the subjects I don't know.
Then I discovered the illustrated stories which led me to the picture forums and being a male....... found a home there. I created a profile because I couldn't see the amateur pic feedback attachments and I am glad I did because actual people posting their own photos is the most interesting aspect of any erotic website I have ever come across.
Young (under 30) makes me feel Aqualungish, but I look and can pretend or remember when I was young. I would never mess around with family IRL but a brief thought or two doesn't scare me because I know fantasy is not reality.
Not sure I answered your question but I will finish the family camping trip story. Thanks for the link.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

When I first discovered Lit it was to read stories. I had become bored with conventional "porn sites", when I realized the authors were "amateur" I was more interested.
I started with subjects that fell into my fantasy categories such as threesome, swinging and general couple experimentations. Quickly I found my way to the fetish section to explore my kinkedness which mostly pertains to female foot worship and footjob experience and some butt fun, things that interest me that I didn't necessarily get to try with partners.
The beauty of Lit is you find a story or 7 about just about anything under the sun and some where the sun don't shine. Shortly I found myself most often in the incest/taboo pages. This was something I had no experience with and was not interested in pursuing in real life at all, but I found the writing to be the hottest to me as far as the sex description and/or setup. Whether that is because I am personally interested or the authors are more enthusiastic about the subjects I don't know.
Then I discovered the illustrated stories which led me to the picture forums and being a male....... found a home there. I created a profile because I couldn't see the amateur pic feedback attachments and I am glad I did because actual people posting their own photos is the most interesting aspect of any erotic website I have ever come across.
Young (under 30) makes me feel Aqualungish, but I look and can pretend or remember when I was young. I would never mess around with family IRL but a brief thought or two doesn't scare me because I know fantasy is not reality.
Not sure I answered your question but I will finish the family camping trip story. Thanks for the link.

I'm most impressed with the use of "Aqualungish." That made my day!

I concur with much of what you said, and I think there are shades to all of it.

I'm usually turned off by the incest thing, almost always so when it involves parent/children. In reality, as a disturbed teenager, I'll admit to peeking at just about everyone out of morbid curiosity (and porn wasn't as readily available). But that didn't mean I was lusting after anyone. As a teenager, I had a little crush on a cousin I rarely saw. I guess I understand why blood tests before marriage were law in my state for a long time.

I have teenagers, and I'm never comfortable around their friends. I probably make them uncomfortable because I probably put too much energy in trying to remain above reproach at all times. Some of the young people around me are legal adults, but they seem like kids. It just feels gross to even think of them like that (not trying to pick someone's legal yum).

I work near a university, and it feels obvious who are freshman and who are seniors. I'll steal glances at the upper classmen, or those I perceive to be such. But I instantly reject any thoughts or glances at anyone not of legal drinking age. And now, I feel like checking out pretty 30 year olds is looking at young ladies.

 

[Deadfreak]

I never had kids and I suppose that is good because I wouldn't want to catch jail time for murdering some old perv like me, even if the kids start it
As a kid in 1970s we had enough older brothers and "cousins" around to steal looks at dirty magazines at too young an age and I'm sure that is where my picture perversion comes from. When I got to jackin age I was lucky enough to have a brother in law move in with his extensive magazine collection and a great cassette collection.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

A close friend of mine was just caught meeting up with people for sex.
He was a member of the clergy.
He is, for now, married with kids.
He was meeting men, exclusively.
He contracted a treatable STI. To my knowledge, he did not pass it along.
The church found out about the cheating, but not the same sex part.

His indiscretions have cost him his job. His marriage is a toss up for now. His wife is devastated.

I'm trying to support him in taking accountability for his actions and showing him that this doesn't have to define him. I'm trying to be there for the rest of his family in any way I can.

I don't know how to feel about so many aspects of this.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I need to read some good erotica. If anyone has recommendations, feel free to drop them here or shoot me a message, please and thank you.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I'm getting really sick and tired of everyone seemingly defaulting to asshole in public. Can we start from a place of civility first? If becoming an asshole is warranted, so be it, but courtesy doesn't cost a damn thing.

I swear, one of these I'm going to snap. Then I'll be in jail. Probably for a long time.

And it's about time police started citing drivers for all the small things that comprise the social contract our society is based upon - respect for others.

FFS, put the phone down, use your turn signal, don't block traffic because it would inconvenience you to turn around, and keep to the right unless you're passing. And the middle lane isn't the right!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

It's been 10 years since I returned from the sandbox. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday. Sometimes, an eternity ago. I not sure I ever fully returned; I don't know.



The Pease Greeters were some of the most amazing people I had ever met. I'm still grateful for them.