Tale of Elves and Robbers

[LordArthur]

Hi
I just had my first erotic story posted on Lit. Would love to hear what people think about it and maby get some constructive critisism.

Here it is.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=41689

The story is a in the fantasy genre and it does'nt get wery hot until the end. Just thought i'd let you know

 

[Chantal Marchon]

I like the story- there are lots of little typos and some things that were out of place- for example- your story does not indicate a passing of time very well- first it is noon and then when she goes to take a bath the moon is being reflected in pools of water on the roof- well, the way it is written it sounds like she went to the inn to take a bath within a few minutes after finishing the orc. Also, when the other fighter drops in on her during the bath it sounds like he is saying she didn't close the curtains so everyone can see what she is doing, when in fact she did close the curtains.

Thats about it.

 

[LordArthur]

Thank You

Just wanted to say that it's nice some hear some feedback. I'll try to root out some of these mistakes in my next submission.

(The kind of mistakes you mentioned are difficult to notice when you write, at least for me cos i got story all in my head from before)

And im reallt glad you enjoyed the story.

 

[Fairytat]

I liked the story as Im a big fan of fantasy/sci-fi but I did have the same problems with it as mentioned above. Also, I wish you had put more paragraphs in there rather then several looonnnngggg ones. It was a bit distracting and hard to read.