Taking and being taken

[Patryn]

A male friend and I were discussing sex this evening, and got on the topic of BDSM. Neither of us have ever tried it, and don't have any desire to experiment with it beyond light bondage (which we've both done), but IF we were to he fancies himself slightly dominant and I've always known I'm somewhat submissive.

He likes to "take", to be the one that calls the shots in an encounter, without actually commanding his partner, perse, and I like to be taken, to be forced just a little bit (even though I'm willing to begin with) or to be hurt some...a gentle bite, just hard enough to sting or someone to be a little rough with me.

Our question is, for those of you into BSDM, would you consider this any type of dom/sub thing, or is it just a personal preference? Neither of us want to be a slave or master or do anything beyond what we've done with seperate partners. He doesn't want to inflict great pain, even with a willing partner, and I don't want to be completely dominated.

So in short, what is the "line" considered to be?

He and I have never had sex or even "fooled around"...hmm...maybe we should.

 

[Bliss]

So in short, what is the "line" considered to be?

Wouldn't the line be at breaking the skin, or otherwise 'drawing blood', like taking spankings to far? Any point where the participants are quickly brought of the fantasy and the fun & games are interupted by the search for Band-Aids. (OUCHIES!)

As for me and mine, we both like both sides of the coin, but I don't think we come anywhere near being authorities on the subject. We go with whatever strikes our fancy at the time.

You & your friend sound well suited, maybe you should investigate the possibilities.

 

[Budokan]

Whatever makes the two of you comfortable seems to be the best bet.

 

[Maniac]

I've never done BDSM, but I would be willing to try it as long as Siren was my mistress. yeeeeehaaaaaa!













______________________________________
~Isn't sex Grand?~

 

[Skibum]

My wife and I have tried it, and she loved it. It didn't do very much for me.

 

[Siren]

OH Yea Manic-Maniac

 

[Maniac]

http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm/silly.gif

yeeeeehaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Ride on Cowgirl.

I'm all yours mistress siren. One question though. Will you kiss and make the burn go away after you brand me?

Hey, I'm getting close to my 100th post. Can that be gift for finally making it to 100?


___________
~manic-maniac http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm/silly.gif

 

[Siren]

My Lil Steer

 

[Docgtvt]

i'm a Dom, and my wife is a submissive. she enjoys being bound and light punishment....ie spanking a light whipping on the butt.
i feel you cross the line at permanent marks, drawing blood and the like. if your partner says his/her control word, that is that. the trick is not to get that carried away.




"we're going to the freaker's ball, down in the freaker's hall, and you're invited one and all"
-shel silverstien

 

[Hecate]

sorry in advance if I get carried away ...

Patryn - I guess I am bound for another long ramble about Dom/sub matters but one thing just really did pop up when reading your initial post to this thread ...
__________________________________________________________
Our question is, for those of you into BSDM, would you consider this any type of dom/sub thing, or is it just a personal preference?
Neither of us want to be a slave or master or do anything beyond what we've done with seperate partners. He doesn't want to inflict great pain, even with a willing partner, and I don't want to be completely dominated.

So in short, what is the "line" considered to be?
__________________________________________________________

D/s "things" are nothing but personal preference - there is no difference! And there is NOT necessarily any physical pain involved in a Dom/sub relation - it is merely a set of mind to one being in control and the other accepting the lead (even if only by words and gestures or such). If you would ask me at which point I would declare a relation as a D/s one - I don't know! I guess the moment the people participating in it see it that way. There is no need for a declared Master or slave, and there are many shades of grey from a once in a while scening for sex to a RL relation completely based on it. The "magic formula" is power exchange - and the question if you are willing to turn over this control to someone for (even a limited) period of time.


Now to the bit involving SM into the game - the line is where YOU draw it! It does NOT matter where everyone else draws it - it is YOU and only YOU to decide (and this YOU means both, Dom and sub alike, wherever the limit is reached first!).

There is no such thing as an absolute line to be drawn - the weirdest things have happened in that field connected to so-called sexual fulfillment (though some are completely out of my boundaries of even slighly understanding the concept *shudders*), but general line sure is where permanent damage is done to either body, spirit or soul.

And please don't read this from only a sub point of view - there are Doms who did things because their subs asked them to which they themselves were not comfortable with (now, don't get me started why they did, being the Dom and all if they didn't really want to - it is a matter of LOVE and pleasing each other usually after all). The spiritual damage that can be done to a relation and a person that way is as bad as it is to push the limits too far on a sub. There is no use to ask a Dom to do something extreme they are not comfortable with - trust me! And specially not if afterwards the sub doesn't like it as much as he/she thought and complains about the Dom having taken things too far!

*wry smile* see where you got me now - rambling and preaching...

So to return to subject ... don't be bothered about the "name-tag" your sensual sexual desires may or may not have! You like it - you do it - you don't like it - you don't do it ! Don't let the name-tag BDSM scare you from experimenting - it doesn't mean once you have taken a first glimpse and like it you have to end up in hard bondage or such! (just as starting to have sex doesn't mean you ever will have to do anal ...)

Enjoy all the shades of grey in and between - and you may even find some of purple, blue, green and all other colours of the rainbow on the way *s*

I hope this did make sense .. if it didn't really - my e-mail is right at the end of this post *sighs*



PS: Siren - you know where to find me if you need "assistance" - and one little "tip" ... first of all teach him that Mistress is always spelled with a CAPITAL M

 

[Savage Kitten]

just a little suggestion

when you talk about 'drawing the line' everyone has their limits and boundaries. when you begin or start expierementing you may think your boundaries are one thing only to realize during the actual act that they are another.. so it is always wise to have open communication with your partner... decide BEFORE you begin to play on a 'safe word' (and/or signal incase one's mouth is gagged *wink* hehe) that either person can use when that boundary is beginning to get crossed and in some cases you may decide to extend the orginal boundaries... and your partner will realize this when you don't use the safe word

 

[Lethal_beauty_27]

i dated a guy who was greatly into bondage and voilent sex.... i felt weird doing it to him.... when i was drunk is was kind of fun....but as for me. i dont see how you can get pleasure from pain. He sure did.
And as for your last statememt.. if your not worried about losing his friendship than i say go for it!!!! you two might of been missing out on something really great!
Tell us what happens i hope it works out>

 

[Maniac]

getting down on all fours and looking La Siren in the eyes.....

I shall show my devotion to you my Mistress.

By all means if Hecate wants to joing then there will be no objection by me. This lil' steer (actually Big Bull) can handle anything you throw my way. YeeeeeHaaaaa!

Siren, babe you are the best.

 

[Siren]

Oh yes Manic-Maniac

 

[Maniac]

Bowing head to floor....

Yes, Mistress Siren.

Can I please have a treat? Oh please, please let me have that sweet sweet treat of yours.




________________________________________
~manic-maniac

 

[Siren]

I have decided Manic-Maniac

 

[Maniac]

Must earn that treat.....
Now, stay on all fours, lick my boots and up my legs just to the knees and stay very still for your Mistress my lil bull boy....

Then maybe, you might, just possibly, earn, a, treat...


SIREN

Sticking tongue out and licking lips.
Now I'm licking your boots and moving up sexy legs, stopping at the knees. Making circles with my tongue as it glides ever so softly across that smooth skin of yours.

_______________________
~Do I make you horny baby?~

manic-maniac