Taken out of context

[GirlChris]

Ever had a conversation that was completely normal to you, but to an outside listener it might sound dirty? Post those comments here for shits and giggles. I'll start.

Me, to a co-worker: "You can fit it in, and it wont even get wet!"
Context: We were talking about him getting a ride home from us when he'd ridden his bike to work and it was supposed to rain that night.

 

[Super-Surprise]

Me, to a co-worker: "You can fit it in, and it wont even get wet!"
Context: We were talking about him getting lucky, while the rest of the office thought he was getting a ride home from us when he'd ridden his bike to work and it was supposed to rain that night.

 

[ChinaBandit]

Judging by the little I've seen, my guess is that GirlChris isn't prepared to go on at length about the peloponnesian war...

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

Me, to a co-worker: "You can fit it in, and it wont even get wet!"
Context: We were talking about him getting lucky, while the rest of the office thought he was getting a ride home from us when he'd ridden his bike to work and it was supposed to rain that night.

i like your username.

 

[MNGuy]

Sort of, but it was flirty play between a co-worker and me. Two incidents I remember clearly. The first went something like this.

Amanda: Hey, MNGuy, you want to see my little pussy?
(Now she said pussy, but meant her new kitty, she had photos on her cell phone, but everyone else's head in the office spun around.)
MNGuy: I'd love too.
Amanda: (Holding out her phone so I can see the picture of the kitten.) What do you think?
MNGuy: What a cute little thing.
Amanda: You like it?
MNGuy: I love it, I just want to pet it.
Amanda: Yeah?
MNGuy: It's just so adorable, I could play with it all day.
Amanda: It likes to get played with. She gets all riled up.
MNGuy: I bet, I could just kiss it.
Amanda: She likes to get kissed, but she bites.
MNGuy: I'd be careful.
Amanda: She's a licker, you would get your fingers all wet.
MNGuy: I don't mind wet fingers.

At this point someone told us to get a hotel room.

The other time was with the same Amanda. I was making a minor repair to some office machinery, and had to be down on my knees to get at the jammed part. When I was done, I stood up, and my ancient knees were aching.

Amanda: What's the matter MNGuy, are you getting old?
MNGuy: Yeah, I'm not like you, used to being down on my knees all day.

As soon as I said it, I thought about the sexual implications. Amanda, is a dirty minded tease, just smiled and licked her lips.





I love Amanda, I wish I still worked with her, and wished I could have fucked her at least 537 times.

 

[blobfish]

"First, you put your erect penis in her vagina. If she's aroused, it will be moist enough to make entry comfortable. At this point, you thrust your pelvis back and forth until you ejaculate your semen inside her."

A buddy and I were talking about the latest episode of American Chopper.

 

[KRCummings]

"First, you put your erect penis in her vagina. If she's aroused, it will be moist enough to make entry comfortable. At this point, you thrust your pelvis back and forth until you ejaculate your semen inside her."

A buddy and I were talking about the latest episode of American Chopper.

That made me LOL

 

[RobDownSouth]

Meeting a very dignified proper older woman who was our account manager in the Netherlands...we got off track a bit and she started talking about her husband.

"My husband has this interest for handcuffs and always tries to involve me...I don't understand why" (young woman nearby her chuckles). "He's got our two sons interested in them as well." (young woman turns red).

Dutch lady continues: "My husband is forever visiting those toy stores you have here in America and bringing home toys for me....do I look like a woman who enjoys toys? I haven't had any desire for a toy in years!" (young woman is laughing and beet red). "I shoo my husband away and tell him I shan't be a part of his little threesomes, thank you very much"

At this point, young woman, who was drinking a Coke, sprays Coke out of her nose.

Dutch woman notices this...stops and looks concerned "my dear! Are you unwell?"

Young woman replies "no no..I'm so sorry, when you said "threesomes" I thought you were referring to menage a trois!"

Dutch woman (concerned): "Oh, I am so sorry dearie...I don't speak French. Do you have swallowing issues?"