Taken In Hand

[Etoile]

My wife found a very interesting website while I was on vacation: Taken In Hand. She says it looks a lot like the relationship I have with Daddy, though I don't really think so, because of this:

What Taken In Hand relationships have in common is that both the man and the woman are strong, but the man is in charge. He ‘wears the trousers’. He may also be the ‘master of the house’ or the head of the household. In controlling the woman, the man might lovingly straighten her out. The man is in control. And not just as a game or a sexual fantasy, not just in the bedroom, not as a ‘scene’, but in reality.

I just don't think that's me, because I don't see myself as strong. The author of the Taken In Hand website mentions that she is not "a submissive" and has no desire to be, whereas I am a submissive and I enjoy it.

There seem to be a lot of followers of this particular site (which is actually a weblog of sorts) but I had never heard of it before. Has anybody else heard of Taken In Hand? What are your thoughts on it, either from prior knowledge or looking at the site?

 

[Marquis]

Rosco started a thread about this a while back, would you like me to join the threads?

 

[graceanne]

I love that sight, and so does K. The thing about it, though, is that you just take the good and leave the bad. Their are some awesome articles there, and some stupid ones.

 

[Netzach]

I've seen it. I like certain things about it. I like the idea of integrating and normalizing your D/s relationship...sometimes.

Then sometimes I get really annoyed at the domestic femdom scene and the emphasis on how "normal" and "regular" all that D/s is. Taken in Hand is the maledom equivalent of the domestic discipline scene. Actually I like it better, it's a little less uptight.

It's a lifestyle, it's a way of life, but it's also a damn fun sexual perversion, and I happen to LIKE wearing the 5 inch heels and a corset.

 

[graceanne]

I've seen it. I like certain things about it. I like the idea of integrating and normalizing your D/s relationship...sometimes.

Then sometimes I get really annoyed at the domestic femdom scene and the emphasis on how "normal" and "regular" all that D/s is. Taken in Hand is the maledom equivalent of the domestic discipline scene. Actually I like it better, it's a little less uptight.

It's a lifestyle, it's a way of life, but it's also a damn fun sexual perversion, and I happen to LIKE wearing the 5 inch heels and a corset.

Or the mary janes?

 

[Etoile]

Rosco started a thread about this a while back, would you like me to join the threads?

Doh! I actually DID try searching, but Lit was being balky so I figured "well, it won't hurt to start a new one just this once." If you could join them that would be great, thanks.

 

[serijules]

I know personally some of posters there, and know them to be complete and total frauds while a majority of the other posters seem to think these people really know their shit, so that turned me off from having anything to do with it. I realize such people exist everywhere, but I don't personally know of them on other sites so it doesn't bug me *shrugs*

 

[h_i_s]

From 'looking at the site', it bored me. *shrugs* It may appeal to some. After reading a few articles i was just as bored. X-ed out of there feeling as not much there pertained to myself, the style/dynamic of the relationship between IYM and myself, and left many other relationships 'out of the mix'. i preferre to see the whole picture whether it fits in *my* frame or not.

 

[catalina_francisco]

From 'looking at the site', it bored me. *shrugs* It may appeal to some. After reading a few articles i was just as bored. X-ed out of there feeling as not much there pertained to myself, the style/dynamic of the relationship between IYM and myself, and left many other relationships 'out of the mix'. i preferre to see the whole picture whether it fits in *my* frame or not.

That was my experience a few months back as well......it didn't seem very reality based from my own perspective and perhaps that is because of the people serijules has found there to be fakes and flakes.....tends to then come across as fantasy more than a lived reality based on consent and day to day living in the real world.

Catalina

 

[His_pita]

I have been reading TIH for a couple of months now and joined their Yahoo group too. I just sent my Dom the links so he can look over the material on there. I agree with Graceanne that you just take what you like and leave the rest. That is what we do with BDSM too as we figure out what we want for our relationship.

I have noticed though that some of the TIH people seem to think their way is better then D/s. That kind of elitist attitude always pisses me off.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

My relationship with my honey is very much like that. We're both strong people, we're both contributing people, but he wears the pants, and I defer many judgements to him. I tailor my wardrobe to his taste, I anticipate and meet his needs, etc.

But like you, Etoile, I am a submissive, with him, and very much enjoy being such.

 

[Haku_Z]

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. In my D/s relationship, I find myself admiring the strengths of my sub. I want her to see me as her pillar of strength, her true comfort, her protection - though it is the strength in devotion to me, of her willingness to be submissive to me, and to give me power over her that I can respect and admire. Granted, she has many more strengths that I could go on and on about - but these will do for now.

I would definitely say that my girl is strong... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[luxey313]

I dig the site.

 

[Kierae]

I found it about a year ago and found it a bit too "traditional" for my tastes. Like with most of anything, you can take what you want out of it and manage to apply it to your situation.

 

[Etoile]

I have noticed though that some of the TIH people seem to think their way is better then D/s. That kind of elitist attitude always pisses me off.

Aha, maybe that's why I just couldn't get into it. I'm not sure that I picked up on the fraudulence as serijules and Catalina did, but it just felt...wrong. Not my style. And I think it's that elitism.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I have noticed though that some of the TIH people seem to think their way is better then D/s. That kind of elitist attitude always pisses me off.

i agree with you His_pita & Etolie, i too found TIH to be on the entitled side of thought. Some of the ideas put forth were archaic at best and did little to enlighten or entertain. Long live Lit!

 

[TaintedB]

I dig the site.

I like it too. I suffered under the oppression of first-wave feminism (it was oppression if you were sexually submissive and female) so that site is a welcome relief from that bs I grew up with.

 

[TaintedB]

I have noticed though that some of the TIH people seem to think their way is better then D/s. That kind of elitist attitude always pisses me off.

Got to be a little careful with this sort of thing. What I've noticed personally is that when people are threatened by particular ideas they tend to claim that those espousing or following said ideas "think their way is better." The accuations of "one true wayism" are often intential lies or or prejudices disguised as critiques. For all I know the Taken In Hand people may be doing that very thing you say, I don't read enough of the stuff there to know for sure. But what I have experienced, twice a hundred times over, is people who don't like an idea claiming that the people who do like it are somehow elitist, when they are often nothing of the sort.

I personally like to hang with the people whose ideas I am most sympathetic with. I don't think I'd have a lot to say about gay S&M as I've never expereinced it. Likewise I often have nothing to say in here, as the kinds of things discussed as dominance and submission are often not related to anything in my personal experience or desires. Wanting to talk with other people who feel the same way you do and who are enthusiastic about what you do is not elitism, it's water finding its own level. Something people always do when they group or congregate.

 

[Etoile]

Got to be a little careful with this sort of thing. What I've noticed personally is that when people are threatened by particular ideas they tend to claim that those espousing or following said ideas "think their way is better." The accuations of "one true wayism" are often intential lies or or prejudices disguised as critiques. For all I know the Taken In Hand people may be doing that very thing you say, I don't read enough of the stuff there to know for sure. But what I have experienced, twice a hundred times over, is people who don't like an idea claiming that the people who do like it are somehow elitist, when they are often nothing of the sort.

Normally I would give the author the benefit of the doubt, but I think she really is a bit snobbish. I get the sense that she feels her way is somehow better than BDSM or D/s, when really it's just different. I also prefer to believe that whatever works for the couple is what is best, that there is no one true way. But the TIH author doesn't come across that way to me.