Tag/Dialogue Exercise

[blulilacgrl]

Okay. First time posting in this forum, but I love the various writing exercises found here. So I thought I would submit my own. A long time ago I took a creative writing course and this is one of the exercises that I had a lot of fun with. Pardon me if it has been done before.

This is called a “Dialogue Exercise” or “Tag Exercise”. What you do is simply write the dialogue without any tags. Then create two different scenarios using the same dialogue. I think for the purposes of this board this exercise needs to be tweaked. So my thought is one person writes straight dialogue and the next poster supplies all the tags and action.

I will even supply the first dialogue. It will be interesting to see where the next poster goes with it.
note*
(You are allowed to break up the dialogue in order to insert a tag or action. But you may not change the dialogue itself. For ex. “Damnit Jimmy!” he yelled, “I don’t give a rat’s ass what he said. I’m not payin’ it!”) ETA* You may not add dialogue either. You must work with what is there.And in order to keep it manageable, no more than 10 lines of dialogue.



“Damnit, Jimmy! I don’t give a rat’s ass what he said. I’m not payin’ it.”

“If you want it taken care of you will.”

“Come on… it’s not like it’s rocket science or anything. It won’t even take you that long.”

“Oh it’s definitely gonna take a little time. ‘Specially if you want the job done right.”

“So you expect to throw out this ridiculous number and I’m just supposed to write you a check?”

“Actually I don’t take checks. Cash only please.”

“Well hell while I’m at it why don’t I just get out my magic wand and—“

“Now there’s no need for sarcasm. If you feel that you can get a better deal somewhere else…”

“Now who’s being sarcastic? Hey Jimmy, wait. Here’s a deposit. Just get it done.”

“Sure thing boss.”



Good luck!

 

[mynameisben]

“Damnit, Jimmy!” Dr. Evil yelled. “I don’t give a rat’s ass what he said. I’m not payin’ it.” Asking three figures was highway robbery to begin with, but tripling the price for 'hazardous duty' was as abusive as it was absurd.

“If you want it taken care of you will,” Jimmy countered, knowing full well that when it came to Mr. Bigglesworth, not even the sky was the limit.

“Come on…” Dr. Evil moaned. “It’s not like it’s rocket science or anything.” Hell, all it was was a flea dip for christ sakes! “It won’t even take you that long,” he said.

“Oh it’s definitely gonna take a little time,” Jimmy warned. “‘Specially if you want the job done right.”

“So you expect to throw out this ridiculous number and I’m just supposed to write you a check?” Dr. Evil asked acidly.

“Actually I don’t take checks. Cash only please,” Jimmy said, palm extended.

“Well hell while I’m at it why don’t I just get out my magic wand and—“ grumbled Dr. Evil.

“Now there’s no need for sarcasm,” Jimmy quickly interrupted. “If you feel that you can get a better deal somewhere else…”

“Now who’s being sarcastic?” Dr. Evil sneered. Then he paused to contemplate. “Hey Jimmy, wait. Here’s a deposit. Just get it done,” Dr. Evil relented, at last.

“Sure thing boss,” Jimmy said, extending his arms to take possession of Mr. Bigglesworth from the clutches of Dr. Evil.

 

[runningonblade]

One Saturday In A Costume Shop

“Damnit, Jimmy!", yelled Keira while she was looking at the costume for the Star Wars Day party. "I don’t give a rat’s ass what he said. I’m not paying for it.”

That was when Jimmy smiled and said, “Trust me, Keira. If you want it taken care of, you will.”

“Come on… it’s not like it’s rocket science or anything.", said Keira while handing the Princess Leia slave outfit back to Jimmy. "It won’t even take you that long.”

“Oh, it’s definitely gonna take a little time.", said Jimmy while looking at the costume. "Especially if you want the job done right.”

That was when Keira rolled her eyes and asked, “So you expect to throw out this ridiculous number and I’m just supposed to write you a check?”

“Actually, I don’t take checks. Cash only please.”, said Jimmy after he held out his hand.

That made Keira place her hands on her chest and say, “Well, hell! While I’m at it, why don’t I just get out my magic wand and—"

“Now there’s no need for sarcasm.", said Jimmy while he was giving Keira a cold stare. "If you feel that you can get a better deal somewhere else…”

“Now who’s being sarcastic?", asked Keira before she reached into her purse, pulled out some money and said, "Hey, Jimmy. Wait. Here’s a deposit. Just get it done.”

“Sure thing, Boss.”, said a smiling Jimmy before he went into the back of the store to put the finishing touches on the costume.

 

[blulilacgrl]

I love what you guys have done. It's funny how different your perspective is from mine. But I figure in the interests of sharing, I will post what I came up with.

The warehouse was a handyman’s wet dream. A long workbench lay along the far wall with each tool precisely outlined on the pegboard backing. The cabinets underneath held solvents, paints, stains and various oils; while the shelves displayed rigidly organized trays of screws, nuts, and bolts. Along the right wall was a line of machinery—a drill press, band saw, lathe, table saw and scroll saw—all of them lined up and sparkling under the harsh fluorescent glare. Along the left wall was a large air compressor complete with every tool imaginable and in the center of the room sat a large rectangular table. It had a wooden base with a large stainless steel top and was bolted to the concrete floor.

“Damnit, Jimmy!” The man paced in front of the gleaming apparatus while yelling. “I don’t give a rat’s ass what he said I’m not payin’ it.”

Jimmy yawned and settled back onto his heels, his thumbs hooked into his back pockets. Cocking his head to the side he sneered at the well-dressed executive before him. “If you want it taken care of you will.”

“Come on…” The man huffed and made a dismissive wave toward the large canvas covered mound between them. ”It’s not like it’s rocket science or anything. It won’t even take you that long.”

“Oh it’s definitely gonna take a little time.” Jimmy nudged the mass with his steel toe boot and a man’s hand flopped out onto the floor. The executive quickly leaned down and with a grimace attempted to shove the man’s hand back under the tarp. Jimmy just grinned as the man grappled with the corpse. “ ‘Specially if you want the job done right.”

Panting from the exertion, the man glared at Jimmy. “So you throw out this ridiculous number and I’m just supposed to write you a check?” Realizing he was at a disadvantage in this kneeling position, the executive quickly rose.

“Actually I don’t take checks. Cash only please.” Jimmy could barely hide his laughter and knew that he had the man exactly where he wanted him.

“Well hell while I’m at it why don’t I just get out my magic wand and—“

“Now there’s no need for sarcasm.” Jimmy put up his hands in mock surrender and took a step back. “Hey, if you feel you can get a better deal somewhere else…” He turned and began to walk away.

The executive rolled his eyes with a muttered, “Now who’s being sarcastic?” By this time Jimmy had made it to the double doors and was about to step out into the cold night air. “Hey Jimmy wait!” He winced as his voice echoed throughout the metal structure. He crossed the room frustrated at just how wrong this night had gone. Reaching into his wallet, the executive pulled out several hundred dollar bills. “Here’s a deposit. Just get it done.”

Jimmy smiled. “Sure thing boss.”

The executive walked out of the warehouse with the sound of Jimmy’s whistling rising above the whirring of the saw.


So, who's next? You may work with the dialogue I have posted or created a whole new dialogue for others to toy with. Just remember only 10 lines of dialogue. Have fun!

 

[runningonblade]

Okay, how about this?

"Oooohhhh, God! My head! That's what I get for drinking so much! Shit! What time is it?"

"Nine Twenty-Three. And believe me when I tell you that you're not the only one naked and with a hangover."

"Naked? What are you...? AH, SHIT! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!"

"They're all over the place! And would you please stop yelling? It's making my hangover worse!"

"That's it, Brooke! I mean it! That's the last time I let you talk me into doing something stupid!"

"You mean like getting drunk at a bar on Cinco de Mayo? By the way, who is Brooke?"

"She's suppossed to be my best friend. But after this, I'm not so sure anymore."

"Look. There's a Starbucks down the street from here. Want to go have some coffee there with me?"

"Anything would be better than laying naked on this bed all day. But aren't you worried about what your friends are going to say when they see us?"

"Are you kidding? I'm a dock worker. The only things we'll be getting from those guys would be cheers and complements."