Taboos, shame and secrets

[cleverdevil76]

.....

 

[makinmepurr]

Wow, interesting ideas there, cleverdevil. I am one of those transparent people, but I wasn't always. I guess it was just part of the growing and learning that we all go through in our own way. At some point I opened myself up to new experiences, new people, and somehow over time became, as you say, comfortable in my own skin. Since joining Lit I have opened myself even further sexually, to new ideas and avenues of sexuality. Some I liked, and some I didn't. I have to say I am very happy and secure at this point in my life, in who I am, sexually and otherwise. And for the record, I' m not a hippie nudist ;-) I' m just happy I found this site and can explore taboos and fantasies in a fun and safe way.

 

[may_I_please]

I, on the other hand, am still capable of feeling embarrassed. I wouldn't call it shame I don't think because I kind of enjoy it. But I do blush at some conversations and in real life, sometimes at stuff I've done a hundred times before which in that moment just makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I hide my face in my hands - it's odd I suppose

 

[may_I_please]

This kind of feeling? It sneaks up on you unexpectedly

http://24.media.tumblr.com/8e59d763ea9565c47d9cf2fa36325d47/tumblr_ml3gr7d1T41rwp671o1_500.jpg

 

[jack80]

This kind of feeling? It sneaks up on you unexpectedly

http://24.media.tumblr.com/8e59d763ea9565c47d9cf2fa36325d47/tumblr_ml3gr7d1T41rwp671o1_500.jpg

hhhhmmmmmmmmm

 

[may_I_please]

hhhhmmmmmmmmm

Why hmmm jack?

 

[makinmepurr]

Why hmmm jack?

You know what May, I don't think it's odd at all to have those feelings. I think it's part of the human experience, of being a sexual being in a socially constructed context. Grappling with self-definition, identity, labels, expected behavior...it gets pretty deep once you start thinking about it.

 

[may_I_please]

Hi lovely purr

I do find it fascinating:how much is rooted in upbringing, religious mores and social expectations and propriety. How independence, adulthood and openness to ones own sexuality can be suddenly brushed to one side because of an errant thought...what thought process; what kind of touch or tone of voice provokes that moment and why?

 

[cleverdevil76]

.....

 

[cleverdevil76]

Bump.

 

[AuralFix]

Do you think that you can feel shame and embarrassment, sexually, and still be happy and at peace with yourself?

In other words: Does being sexually inhibited and awkward translate to discontent?

I feel it's possible to be at peace with that part of yourself, provided it remains 'in the dark' to some degree. I think the discontent comes from divulging the want, and being repulsed or judged...then not only is there shame, but fear of being rejected...punished for not wanting something more 'normal'. I think peace with that deviant part comes from embracing it within yourself, acknowledging that desire like any other for YOU...and WANTING to keep it in the dark, rather than need outside acceptance of it. There are the lucky few who can present their desires and have them accepted and (oh, heaven) shared. Sometimes, it's not the act you crave but understanding of it...an education, if you will. Just being able to discuss it intelligently and without censor can satisfy, if there is no other outlet.

Just my two cents...

 

[*Twisted*]

Do you think that you can feel shame and embarrassment, sexually, and still be happy and at peace with yourself?

In other words: Does being sexually inhibited and awkward translate to discontent?

I feel it's possible to be at peace with that part of yourself, provided it remains 'in the dark' to some degree. I think the discontent comes from divulging the want, and being repulsed or judged...then not only is there shame, but fear of being rejected...punished for not wanting something more 'normal'. I think peace with that deviant part comes from embracing it within yourself, acknowledging that desire like any other for YOU...and WANTING to keep it in the dark, rather than need outside acceptance of it. There are the lucky few who can present their desires and have them accepted and (oh, heaven) shared. Sometimes, it's not the act you crave but understanding of it...an education, if you will. Just being able to discuss it intelligently and without censor can satisfy, if there is no other outlet.

Just my two cents...

Interesting thread. Subscribed

 

[Lil_nat968]

Do you think that you can feel shame and embarrassment, sexually, and still be happy and at peace with yourself?

In other words: Does being sexually inhibited and awkward translate to discontent?

there is a difference between being happy and at peace with yourself. While you could dissect what I am about to say, and feel free I won't be offended. We find content in our lives and often convince ourselves it is "happiness" but what is happiness? Is it our ability to adapt to the circumstances we are in and accepting that "this is the best it will ever be". Personally, I am always looking to improve and develop myself so I try hard to never feel "content".

Our society often forces us to live within a "box". There are acceptable morals and standards or some call it "norms" by which we are judged. We are expected to conform or be viewed an outcast. Little do most realize is how many people appear to be conforming when in reality they are living a lie only the public can admire.

Don't we all desire the connection where we can be our selves without judgment and without others taking advantage of us? Pure acceptance and love. While happiness comes from within, the world outside effects that and holding back our desire and sexuality can often cloud our perception.

 

[meop79]

Every so often I'll happen across these super sexually liberated people that are completely comfortable in their skin. They understand and are fine with every fantasy and lust they might have. They're just....transparent. Maybe they're hippy nudists or something. And every time, there's a moment that I just envy and respect them. Then that moment passes and I'm so glad that I'm not them. I like the fantasy that survives in the dark. I like making someone blush, and knowing that the reason for that blush is embarrassment. A bit of shame. From years of supressing these filthy little thoughts, afraid to utter them to another living being. That makes my cock so much harder than a person's psychological peace. Which is odd, because I want everyone to be happy and at peace. I just......need you broken to make me whole.

Anyone else?

Discuss.

There are psychologists that can help you with that....

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I am happy and free and at peace.
I have very few sexual boundaries with the person who shares my bed.
I blush easily though -
For me, it's not a matter of being ashamed as much as it's a matter of keeping an intimate secret. I guess it would be like a little kid who gets caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Even though cookies are a fine treat that are enjoyed by many, you don't necessarily want everyone to know which cookies you pull from the selection.

Also, from a female perspective, there is an issue of trusting someone with the secret. The fact that I have no boundaries with this man has nothing to do with the boundaries that will be established with another. Some men, certainly not all of them, presume that a girl with a free spirit is more readily available.

good thread idea..

 

[papadoc19]

Do you think that you can feel shame and embarrassment, sexually, and still be happy and at peace with yourself?

In other words: Does being sexually inhibited and awkward translate to discontent?

there is a difference between being happy and at peace with yourself. While you could dissect what I am about to say, and feel free I won't be offended. We find content in our lives and often convince ourselves it is "happiness" but what is happiness? Is it our ability to adapt to the circumstances we are in and accepting that "this is the best it will ever be". Personally, I am always looking to improve and develop myself so I try hard to never feel "content".

Our society often forces us to live within a "box". There are acceptable morals and standards or some call it "norms" by which we are judged. We are expected to conform or be viewed an outcast. Little do most realize is how many people appear to be conforming when in reality they are living a lie only the public can admire.

Don't we all desire the connection where we can be our selves without judgment and without others taking advantage of us? Pure acceptance and love. While happiness comes from within, the world outside effects that and holding back our desire and sexuality can often cloud our perception.

Yes...sometimes a sense of embarrassment and shame heightens the experience...honestly some of the things I do that would be considered taboo wouldn't be as pleasurable if a sense that I was pushing the limits of what is acceptable...if it weren't forbidden.

 

[thelaughingcat]

I've always been very sexually liberated but transparent? Hmmm...that's a tough one. My family knows my tastes, and I am more than open with friends and colleagues, but that doesn't mean I telegraph it from the rooftops. I just don't hide anything when I am asked or if it comes up in conversation.

I don't get the stain in my cheeks or a downward glance if anything BDSM or sex-related comes up, say, at work. I apparently just stay quiet and get a little, amused smirk at the corner of my mouth, with a corresponding slight quirk of my eyebrow. It really does tell everyone they need to know without giving anything away, though I don't consciously do it.

Maybe I have yet to find a social taboo that I find personally embarrassing?