swinging lifestyle

[pussyhammer2021]

I have recently found out how turned on my wife gets to the thought of adding a 2nd cock to our sex life. When i told her it would turn me on to watch her suck on another cock while i was fucking her, her pussy got so wet and she was so into that scenario, she came several times.

I had always let her know how i really wanted a 3some with another woman, and while she got into that scenario, and even turned on by it, she wasnt nearly as turned on as she was by the thought of another cock.

As the scenario has evolved, she is very turned on by the thought of us finding a couple to play with. While she gets so turned on by us talking out the scenario, im not sure if she would actually go through with it. I know she wouldnt actively seek it, but if presented with the scenario i think she would actively participate.

What are yalls first experiences in starting this lifestyle? Anybody else have to overcome this obstacle with a S/O? I would love to hear the details regarding how other couples got their start into couples swapping or even inroducing another partner.

 

[pussyhammer2021]

Very good story. I dont think my wife would be as comfortable with someone she would have to see again...just in case it wasnt a good experience, but thats good u got your brother on board and it worked out. Im sure next time will be more rewarding for yall.

 

[Wonderer67]

We have talked about it in depth.

My wife knows of my wants and desires, but they don’t match hers.

She is much more comfortable being monogamous and does not want to be w anybody else. She has confessed that she thinks about it and finds other men attractive.

As much as I would like to play with additional partners (and my wife too), we have not come to common ground.

But the upside is that we have a good and healthy sex life as it is, so don’t throw away the baby with the bath water as they say.

 

[Sgts19]

We met several couples to see if anything clicked and felt in 90% of those couples the husband was all for it. The husbands did most of the talking the wives didn't say much at all.

 

[pussyhammer2021]

We met several couples to see if anything clicked and felt in 90% of those couples the husband was all for it. The husbands did most of the talking the wives didn't say much at all.

Yah im sure that is almost always gonna be the case. If my wife doesnt want to do it then i wouldnt force her. Our sex life is extremely good. I just want her to remain fully satisfied and if enjoying a 2nd cock while she is enjoying mine turns her on, then that turns me on. Or if she really gets off on the idea of finding a couple that we are comfortable with, then i want her to know that its an option.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

Long story short after talking about our fantasies with each other, we went to our local lifestyle club and dove in playing with 2 different couples. Over 2 years later the experiences we have enjoyed are wide spread, still thoroughly enjoying exploring and adding to our amazing sex life.

 

[Luzi_]

Meine Frau und ich (beide über 70) haben schon vor mehr als 30 Jahren die Erfahrung machen können, dass Sexeln zu dritt oder viert etwas wundervolles ist. Dabei und auch in Swingerclubs haben wir festgestellt, dass das Sexeln mit einer weiteren männlichen Person uns beide am meisten befriedigt, denn ich bin Bi. Wir haben einen viel jüngeren Hausfreund, der uns regelmäßig besucht und unser Sexualleben bereichert und unser Verlangen befriedigt.

 

[pussyhammer2021]

I guess were making some progress...while we were having sex this weekend, i brought up going to a sex club so we could be watched while having sex. She really likes that idea and is willing to start there. Maybe more will happen in that environment but if not, its a start. Were starting to research places to see what looks like would be a good place to go.

Would love to hear about more peoples experiences of having a s/o that was a little apprehensive about stepping into this lifestyle and how they overcame the apprehension to at least try it out.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

I guess were making some progress...while we were having sex this weekend, i brought up going to a sex club so we could be watched while having sex. She really likes that idea and is willing to start there. Maybe more will happen in that environment but if not, its a start. Were starting to research places to see what looks like would be a good place to go.

Would love to hear about more peoples experiences of having a s/o that was a little apprehensive about stepping into this lifestyle and how they overcame the apprehension to at least try it out.

We were both onboard, but can share our approach and experience(s) if you would like.

 

[pussyhammer2021]

Thats what this thread is for...any insight into couples overcoming whatever hurdles they needed to to try swinging is what im lookin for

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

Thats what this thread is for...any insight into couples overcoming whatever hurdles they needed to to try swinging is what im lookin for

This is a 2nd serious relationship for both us, we were talking about past experiences and she mentioned she had had a threesome (FMF).

I asked her to tell me the whole story which she did, I replied I would have loved to have had a threesome. She didn't even blink and replied, "would you like to with me?"

That started our talks about our fantasies, ones that remain fantasy, others that we would love to try in real life.

We wanted to do this together, so we landed on swinging. We found and started listening to Swinger University from episode 1. This podcast is geared to those wondering and learning about the lifestyle, where not necessarily each partner is onboard yet and the discussions you can have.

They run through questions to ask each other, but also empathizing how communication is the foundation of what helps couples successfly start and enjoy the lifestyle together.

They run through scenerio from sexual play to having escape words, how to kindly say no to someone that is interested in you but don't feel the same.

They also cover stag/vixen, hotwifing, cuckholds, so many things, it's a real education on the terms.

We would stop the podcast at times and discuss what had heard together. Did we like something, love it, not sure but we may try, or absolute no's.

We have a rule, if one partner says no, if with others that is the end it, no squabbling, no questions. Can discuss later, but not in the moment.

After listening to hrs of this, we decided we were both ready to try. We didn't know what that would be like but we decided to start a Kasidie profile, and set a date to go to our local lifestyle club we had found.

That day came, we went a little anxious not knowing what to expect. We arrived and found quickly it was friends mingling, having a drink, having something to eat, like a reg bar, the only difference was the sexy clothes or none at all....

 

[pussyhammer2021]

This is a 2nd serious relationship for both us, we were talking about past experiences and she mentioned she had had a threesome (FMF).

I asked her to tell me the whole story which she did, I replied I would have loved to have had a threesome. She didn't even blink and replied, "would you like to with me?"

That started our talks about our fantasies, ones that remain fantasy, others that we would love to try in real life.

We wanted to do this together, so we landed on swinging. We found and started listening to Swinger University from episode 1. This podcast is geared to those wondering and learning about the lifestyle, where not necessarily each partner is onboard yet and the discussions you can have.

They run through questions to ask each other, but also empathizing how communication is the foundation of what helps couples successfly start and enjoy the lifestyle together.

They run through scenerio from sexual play to having escape words, how to kindly say no to someone that is interested in you but don't feel the same.

They also cover stag/vixen, hotwifing, cuckholds, so many things, it's a real education on the terms.

We would stop the podcast at times and discuss what had heard together. Did we like something, love it, not sure but we may try, or absolute no's.

We have a rule, if one partner says no, if with others that is the end it, no squabbling, no questions. Can discuss later, but not in the moment.

After listening to hrs of this, we decided we were both ready to try. We didn't know what that would be like but we decided to start a Kasidie profile, and set a date to go to our local lifestyle club we had found.

That day came, we went a little anxious not knowing what to expect. We arrived and found quickly it was friends mingling, having a drink, having something to eat, like a reg bar, the only difference was the sexy clothes or none at all....

Thanks for the podcast tip...will definitely check it out. Sounds like yall took a good approach to getting started.

 

[NightL]

i brought up going to a sex club so we could be watched while having sex.

That is a good place to start - or even a fetish club. Be around like minded people. You will find out how comfortable you are flirting with others. Go along with an open mind, take it easy. Remember everyone there also once had their very first time at a club. People are likely to be more friendly than expected, but make an effort. Even letting them know it is your first time is an opener for conversation. If you sit looking apprehensive in a corner and don't interact with others, people may not approach you.

There is no issue if you state "We are just taking it all in and may not play tonight" - just be honest with how you are feeling. Check in with each other regularly to see if you are on the same level for experiencing new adventures.

If either of your are feeling uncomfortable, respect that. Going home to talk it through may lead to another attempt. Never push a situation that is uncomfortable for either of you.

Ask the venue about their dress code in advance. Find a club where people make an effort in their costuming.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I think substituting dildos and fleshlights might be best.

 

[Waiter519123]

Years ago after my wife and I got married we were in our late 20’s. We met an older couple at a church picnic. They were our first couple we swing with. Free free to PM for details

 

[Naughtylo]

We have lots of times.

 

[magic_rat]

We have talked about it in depth.

My wife knows of my wants and desires, but they don’t match hers.

She is much more comfortable being monogamous and does not want to be w anybody else. She has confessed that she thinks about it and finds other men attractive.

As much as I would like to play with additional partners (and my wife too), we have not come to common ground.

But the upside is that we have a good and healthy sex life as it is, so don’t throw away the baby with the bath water as they say.

You have common ground. Fantasy. She thinks about it... incorporate that into pillow talk. Maybe some light role playing. Work with what you have.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

What are yalls first experiences in starting this lifestyle? Anybody else have to overcome this obstacle with a S/O? I would love to hear the details regarding how other couples got their start into couples swapping or even inroducing another partner.

I'm not in the lifestyle as such, have dabbled around the edges, but directness has always worked and I'm not one to turn down a good 3some!!

 

[Waiter519123]

I'm not in the lifestyle as such, have dabbled around the edges, but directness has always worked and I'm not one to turn down a good 3some!!

Well good for you for not turning down a 3some

 

[hulmule]

I would think it would have to be a special couple to do this. Alot of feelings and emotions are flying in this style of living. So i would think there's a lot of couple have broken up because of it. IMO

 

[Veeweewee]

I would think it would have to be a special couple to do this. Alot of feelings and emotions are flying in this style of living. So i would think there's a lot of couple have broken up because of it. IMO

You do *both* have to slay the jealousy dragon and look upon sex as a pleasurable pastime, and always pay close attention to your SO even as you play with others. We've been married 39 years.

Certainly others we know have split though, but not always because of the swinging.

 

[MileHighBlackDiamond]

I would think it would have to be a special couple to do this. Alot of feelings and emotions are flying in this style of living. So i would think there's a lot of couple have broken up because of it. IMO

If you start to look into the lifestyle, you would be surprised how many people are in it, single men/women and couples. It looks different for everyone, there is no one way to partake and enjoy.

Entering the lifestyle must be mutually wanted by both. It may not be 100% equal, maybe one person will be a little more reserved, but they are wanting to themselves, not feeling pressure from a partner.

At the foundation is communication, which any good, healthy relationship should have to begin with. If either person can't communicate their wants, desires, boundaries, then it won't work.

A couple should have a wonderful sex life to start, letting the lifestyle be an extension, not replacement. If a couple enters the lifestyle to enchance a stale sex life, it rarely will work. This will usually back fire, as finding sex with others more fun/exciting than their own partner.

There are situations where for medical/health reasons do not allow for sex. In those situations the one partner may enter the lifestyle with the consent of the other.

Some couples enter separately in an ethically nonmonogous (ENM) scenario where they play with others, but separately. From our time in the lifestyle, I would say this is the most infrequent we have come upon.

 

[hulmule]

If you start to look into the lifestyle, you would be surprised how many people are in it, single men/women and couples. It looks different for everyone, there is no one way to partake and enjoy.

Entering the lifestyle must be mutually wanted by both. It may not be 100% equal, maybe one person will be a little more reserved, but they are wanting to themselves, not feeling pressure from a partner.

At the foundation is communication, which any good, healthy relationship should have to begin with. If either person can't communicate their wants, desires, boundaries, then it won't work.

A couple should have a wonderful sex life to start, letting the lifestyle be an extension, not replacement. If a couple enters the lifestyle to enchance a stale sex life, it rarely will work. This will usually back fire, as finding sex with others more fun/exciting than their own partner.

There are situations where for medical/health reasons do not allow for sex. In those situations the one partner may enter the lifestyle with the consent of the other.

Some couples enter separately in an ethically nonmonogous (ENM) scenario where they play with others, but separately. From our time in the lifestyle, I would say this is the most infrequent we have come upon.

Thanks for the detailed reply. I'm hoping to open discussion with wife. Not sure just how to approach this..

 

[magicalmoments]

My first wife and I started sharing fantasies and talking about swinging while we were lovemaking. It lifted our love play up several notches. I noticed the same thing as the OP. Whenever I mentioned about fantasising about her being sexually active with another guy she would flood with pussy juices and orgasm strongly, sometimes multiple orgasms.
After several months of this sort of role playing and fantasy sharing, which included serious talk about meeting other couples, laying down ground rules for if we ever did decide to do it for real, I came home from work one evening to be told proudly by her that she had placed a profile up on a swingers site inviting other couple to contact us for "erotic play times". I was very surprised, but also very happy. It all went on from there.

My second wife and I met when I answered her personal advert for phone sex. This was a free service she was offering, not a commercial undertaking. So we sort of covered all the possibilities before she eventually agreed to meet with me and we ended up together. Once we hooked up and we talked about fantasies and the like while love making I found, like my first wife, she used to flood whenever I spoke about a group of guys around our bed watching us fuck , all with cocks out and stroking them, lining up to fuck her after I'd cum. She used to really get turned on by it. Unlike my first wife though, we never tried it for real.

 

[magic_rat]

I'm not in the lifestyle as such, have dabbled around the edges, but directness has always worked and I'm not one to turn down a good 3some!!

There’s not much you would turn down as I remember, Lucy. We had some great adventures. I assume you still have my number, give me a call sometime.