Swingers at lit...Care to weigh in??

[Tungwagger]

I tried this thread earlier, but it wound up on the wrong forum area, so I suspect it got yanked..

So....just curious how many swingers are on Lit...and what are your best experiences, and worst....

Hopefully this won't die quickly....

 

[Cheyenne]

An early Sunday morning thread tends to slip back quickly, no matter the topic.

Try Rubyfruit and Sparky. I know there are others, but can't think of who they are at this moment.

 

[Guest]

Though my current Boyfriend and I are not quite swingers...

I have been in the swinging lifestyle for several years now. I believe I was around 19 or 20, single then, when introduced to the lifestyle. Most experiences have been better than not. Which, of course, is a good thing. In the past, I have been in threesomes, foursomes, and even "small" sex parties of 8 or less. And, my current Boyfriend and I have been talking of the lifestyle some.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Hi Tung.

Yes, my husband and I swing. We started swinging before we married and then took a few years off when I became a baby factory.

We just started up again last year and it's been great. I'd say the worst experience was with a couple we went out with who fought all night. He became increasingly drunk and belligerent as the night wore on. She became increasingly hysterical and finally left him there with us. That night really sucked.

For the most part, the couples we have met have been really great, fun-loving, open-minded, interesting and intelligent.

I've found that the lifestyle generally attracts mature, educated couples, secure in themselves and their marriage.

 

[Lusciousladyf]

You know my answer
This is really a bump for you !

 

[Jaded1]

Mmmmmm

Have been known to dabble in the fine art of dabbling

Are we planning a orgy

Jade1, CT

 

[Lusciousladyf]

I want to learn more!

I am interested...and bumping this back up for ya Tung!!

I would love to hear more from everyone out there!

 

[Tungwagger]

An early Sunday morning thread tends to slip back quickly, no matter the topic.

Try Rubyfruit and Sparky. I know there are others, but can't think of who they are at this moment.

It wasn't that it slipped back quickly...it completely disappeared!! No matter...it's up now.....

My wife and I are swingers..about 2 1/2 years now.. Unfortunately all of our experiences haven't been great, but by no means are they to be considered as bad.

Our biggest problem has been allowing others to dictate what swinging was to us..

Although we spent 2 years discussing the subject before getting into it, there was no way to know all the different likes/dislikes in this lifestyle. But it has definately been fun exploring another aspect of our sexuality.

Thanks for the post!!

 

[Tungwagger]

Re: Though my current Boyfriend and I are not quite swingers...

I have been in the swinging lifestyle for several years now. I believe I was around 19 or 20, single then, when introduced to the lifestyle. Most experiences have been better than not. Which, of course, is a good thing. In the past, I have been in threesomes, foursomes, and even "small" sex parties of 8 or less. And, my current Boyfriend and I have been talking of the lifestyle some.

With my wife being straight, it has been difficult to fulfill one of my oldest fantasies of a FMF threesome as alot of women into swinging tend to be bi..finding a single straight woman wanting to share with a couple has been at best, almost impossible...but the possibility is increasing daily....

Couples tend to be more willing to engage in swapping or foursomes. I have had a taste of a FMF threesome, but only about 3 or 4 minutes till the other guy joined in again.

I have had the pleasure of giving my wife a MFM threesome...and smetime in the future I hope to arrange a gang bang for her with some of the couples we've met over the years...assuming the wives of the couples can be persuaded to share for a night even if it's just as spectators....

 

[Tungwagger]

Hi Tung.

Yes, my husband and I swing. We started swinging before we married and then took a few years off when I became a baby factory.

We just started up again last year and it's been great. I'd say the worst experience was with a couple we went out with who fought all night. He became increasingly drunk and belligerent as the night wore on. She became increasingly hysterical and finally left him there with us. That night really sucked.

For the most part, the couples we have met have been really great, fun-loving, open-minded, interesting and intelligent.

I've found that the lifestyle generally attracts mature, educated couples, secure in themselves and their marriage.

I agree, some of the best people we've met have been in this lifestyle. But occasionally a few weirdos slip through the cracks. The best thing is to spot those types and steer clear.

Can honestly say we haven't met a couple yet that argued, but we have met a couple where the woman got a little too interested in me, and it created quite a rift within her own marriage, and even in mine when she felt it was okay to call when she knew my wife was at work, and her husband was too.

But I appreciate your posting here. It seems in some of my other posts, I stated that my wife and I were swingers, and people seemed to purposefully avoid the subject thinking I was prowling or something...LOL

 

[Tungwagger]

Re: Mmmmmm

Have been known to dabble in the fine art of dabbling

Are we planning a orgy

Jade1, CT

Wasn't planning an orgy, just curious how many swingers were on Lit...

Although an orgy would be on my list of things to do, I think it would be more pleasurable if it happened with a group of 5 or 6 couples who all knew each other...

 

[Tungwagger]

You know my answer
This is really a bump for you !

Gosh Luscious...I sure do like your AV!!! That is so sexy.....

as you are I'm sure....LOL <wink>

<knocked off balance by the "bump" from Luscious>

 

[Tungwagger]

Re: I want to learn more!

I am interested...and bumping this back up for ya Tung!!

I would love to hear more from everyone out there!

But the question Luscious is, HOW INTERESTED ARE YOU????

 

[Lady Violet]

Alright then tung, I want to pick your brain!

My husband (then boyfriend) mentioned threesoms with me. Now, the idea sounds appealing, but... this is a story I was told.

The woman brought another woman to spice up the marriage. the man ended up having an affair with that woman.

Not surprising, that gets me worried, although I am confident in my husbands love for me.

What I want to ask.... is it ok for me to want to experiment, but at the same time be wary of how far i want us to go? Like, its ok for me to do this and that, and ok for him to do this and that, but some things i dont want done. Just how far does one go when mixing and matching partners??

 

[jass1960]

weigh in.......

Re: Swingers at lit...Care to weigh in??

14 stone 3 pounds

well someone had to!!!!!!!

 

[Tungwagger]

Alright then tung, I want to pick your brain!

My husband (then boyfriend) mentioned threesoms with me. Now, the idea sounds appealing, but... this is a story I was told.

The woman brought another woman to spice up the marriage. the man ended up having an affair with that woman.

Not surprising, that gets me worried, although I am confident in my husbands love for me.

What I want to ask.... is it ok for me to want to experiment, but at the same time be wary of how far i want us to go? Like, its ok for me to do this and that, and ok for him to do this and that, but some things i dont want done. Just how far does one go when mixing and matching partners??

Alright!! something I can sink my proverbial teeth into!!

While I don't doubt that some people's interest in swinging is purely selfish, not all swingers are like that...

If there is a serious question in either of your minds, then you shouldn't do it at all. This isn't a lifestyle to fix a troubled marriage. But rather to enhance your respect for each other, as weird as that may sound. Plus you get to experiment with fantasies as well.

However if you are seriously interested then you have to have faith that it is a mixture of selfishness and selflessness. Meaning, getting yours, and allow him to get his as well..

You and your husband are the ones who control your own boundaries. For instance, would it bother you to see your husband french kissing another woman, but not to see him go down on her? Some couples view passionate kissing as too intimate, while others view it as part of sex, and eroticism.

Some couples want to make friends with potential playmates, while others just want to get together for sex. In our case, my wife and I have found that making friends works best before the sex.

Some couples experiment with "soft swinging". Getting naked with another couple, but having sex with your own spouse in front of each other. And when you are comfortable enough, expand the boundary to include soft touching, hugging naked with the other spouse, and decide that's enough.

Or you may expand it farther by deciding oral is the limit. And as you progress with the couple allow full penetration after awhile.

A good way of seeing if it's for you is to go to a swingers club, talk to people (most are really interested in friendship and are extremely respectful of your boundaries) maybe get naked around other people, (like a hot tub, if the club has one), maybe have sex with your husband so that others can see you and see what feelings you have.

Believe me, my wife and I experienced each emotion and concern you addressed and about 20 more before our first experience. (which was a full swap), and amazingly (because we had a very understanding couple) we realized that all of the fears we had going into it were unfounded, and we grew even closer together.

Communication is they key, and if you are honest about your feelings with your husband, and other potential couples. Then you'll have fun with it..set your boundaries, and after each experience, discuss it, and modify as you need to.

Hope that helps.

 

[Lusciousladyf]

Still Interested!

To answer your question Tung....VERY interested!!

I am still here, still reading and learning...and also here to bump you back on top again....I am getting a little tired of riding soooooooo long !!

 

[Vivacia]

My Ex wanted us to swing, but it kind of went wrong... I fell for the guy we were "swinging" with and ended up moving in with him...

My Ex swears never to swing again, not sure if I believe that though - As for me, NEVER again... it was far too painful an experience.

I am just glad that I was lucky enough to find someone that fell for me as hard as I did him!

 

[DirtyGrl]

I dont know if what me and my honey do is swinging persay. We have been involved in FMF and FMM, FFMM, FFFMM and a group of 10. We have never said we are swingers and the time just seemed right for times we have been with other people. Most of the people we have been with are really good friends, an occational aquantace and only one stranger. As long as you are doing what you do keeping in mind to be Safe, Sane and Consenual.


DirtyGrl

Spelling errors due to Dyslexia...
Dyslex's of the world Untie

 

[Tungwagger]

Re: Still Interested!

To answer your question Tung....VERY interested!!

I am still here, still reading and learning...and also here to bump you back on top again....I am getting a little tired of riding soooooooo long !!

Are your hips starting to cramp oh luscious one??

That's ok...I like the power positions too....LOL

 

[Tungwagger]

My Ex wanted us to swing, but it kind of went wrong... I fell for the guy we were "swinging" with and ended up moving in with him...

My Ex swears never to swing again, not sure if I believe that though - As for me, NEVER again... it was far too painful an experience.

I am just glad that I was lucky enough to find someone that fell for me as hard as I did him!

Sorry to hear that Vivacia...It does happen I guess, I've just never known anybody personally who that has happened to.

As difficult as it was to go through, maybe it did work out for the best after all...

 

[Tungwagger]

I dont know if what me and my honey do is swinging persay. We have been involved in FMF and FMM, FFMM, FFFMM and a group of 10. We have never said we are swingers and the time just seemed right for times we have been with other people. Most of the people we have been with are really good friends, an occational aquantace and only one stranger. As long as you are doing what you do keeping in mind to be Safe, Sane and Consenual.


DirtyGrl

Spelling errors due to Dyslexia...
Dyslex's of the world Untie

Thanks for the post DirtyGrl....

I have never cared for the term "swingers", but have grown to accept it as a name for what my wife and I participate in.

The term "swinger" to those unfamiliar with the lifestyle conjurs(sp?) up images of men in gold chains, flashy smile, disco suits, and women who are slutty, and are looking for their next poke...

When in actuality, there are many different interests in this lifestyle. And many different types of people...

But congrats on your experiences....maybe you should take over as moderator of this thread??? LOL

 

[nasty]

I wouldn't swing unless I was really desperate, or, just knew the person really well. Speaking of which, when you cumming back to NY, Rubes?

 

[Vivacia]

Thanx Tung

Yeah I am sure it has all worked out for the best, I don't have a problem with other people swinging, but it isn't for me! If you have better luck than me (which I hope you do) than good for you - go for it!

We all have our own views on life and all are valid - Have fun guys!

 

[Lusciousladyf]

Question?

Heya Tung!!! Love that flag!!!

How common is it to have one person cross the line? To get emotional attachments beyond the acceptable ones? Are certain types of people more likely to cross that line? Like someone that is not happy and looking for swinging to improve their marriage? Or someone that cannot differentiate sex and love?

I was just reading and trying to learn more...and these questions occurred to me.