Swing together? Or fuck around on the side? Which holds higher moral ground?

[Sparky Kronkite]

I'm certain, that for me and the Shebabe - swinging together (on occasion mind you, we're no swingg sluts) is much - way, way - better than cheating.

Cheating would probably end our marriage, at least it would damage it severly - and as liberal and open minded as we both are too. Cheating for us would be bad.

It's just that - even though the "swing alternative" seems moralistically advantageous, as far as relationships go - I feel that most folks actually find it easier to fuck around. I guess it's a mental thing down indside them. Most people feel more comfortable fucking their spouses best friend than mutually having fun with another like-minded couple.

I think I understand that, why most folks feel that way, a little - but I know, for us - that it's not the preferrable way to go.

What do you guys think?

 

[Expertise]

This isn't a tough one

Swinging is honest and as I understand it is formed based on open communication between the partners.

Cheating is deceptive and without your partners knowledge.

Since the act (for the sake of argument) remains the same swinging obviously holds the moral high ground.

Although there are many who would say this "high ground" is pretty swampy. Not a judgement (do whatever floats your boat) just an observation.

 

[Countess DeWinter]

I just like 3somes and more-somes, Sparky

Cheating makes me feel guilty, but I don't think it would end our relationship.

 

[TonyG]

I see the difference between the two as the level of feelings one has for their partner.

Most relationships have the 'your mine' syndrome where you know your partner would never fathom your wanting someone else physically. Therefore you must cheat or fling if you want new sex.

Some relationships have 'understandings' between the partners and do not object to the getting of new sex in a swing environment.


I made these statements as very matter-of-fact but in reality there are usually underlaying reasons why one cheats, swings or flings. Sometimes it is good for the relationship and other times not as good. Either way the individuals involved are usually affected by it in some manner.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Sorry but what kind of person? What kind of ego?

Does one have to poscess that allows them to actually believe that "their partner" doesn't want to have sex with anyone, anyone else for the rest of their lives?

I mean, "I'm so fucking good that my wife/husband doesn't even think about having sex with other's."

Yeah right?

Everyone wants to have sex with unfamiliar partners - or they are in serious denial and bullshiting themselves.

If such people actually exist, they are very rare and I would bet that they are mentally unhealthy.

Everyone wants strange.

It's admitting to it, out loud - it's the action of acting upon it, that has everyone so fucking hung up.

 

[Countess DeWinter]

I must disagree, Sparky

My husband is one of those. He really doesn't want anyone else. Yeah, I know I'm good, but it's more than that. He loves me. Sex = love for him. He spent six months in Okinawa as a Marine many years ago and caught all kinds of hell for not cheating on his wife (not me). The only time he's had sex with another woman, I was there and I'd had her first, then he felt horribly guilty afterwards.
If he ever wanted anything different from what he gets with me, he would have to try barnyard animals! lol

I'm the opposite. I always want something different. Just for the variety; just for the novelty.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

He is rare....

.

 

[Countess DeWinter]

Re: He is rare....

.

the good ones are

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yeah I'm completely raw...

Raw meat - exposed - with all the maggots and baggage. I'm just fortunate enough to have a woman who understands.

 

[TonyG]

Originally posted by Sparky Kronkite
Does one have to poscess that allows them to actually believe that "their partner" doesn't want to have sex with anyone, anyone else for the rest of their lives?

I mean, "I'm so fucking good that my wife/husband doesn't even think about having sex with other's."

No, I think it's more the person is deeply satisfied with the sex they receive because of the strong love they have for their partner.

Originally posted by Sparky Kronkite
Everyone wants strange. It's admitting to it, out loud - it's the action of acting upon it, that has everyone so fucking hung up.

I partially agree that those who do want strange SOMETIMES get hung up on the effects of doing it.

Originally posted by Countess DeWinter
...My husband is one of those. He really doesn't want anyone else...If he ever wanted anything different from what he gets with me, he would have to try barnyard animals!

I'm the opposite. I always want something different. Just for the variety; just for the novelty.

Please don't you venture into the barnyard for your novelty. I will offer myself for variety to save you from the roosters.