Sweet Talk or After Care

[YourCaptor]

Which do you prefer

Sweet talk or after care?

Sweet talk comes before sex,
after care comes after sex,
other than that let’s say they are identical.

So what shall it be?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Aftercare.

There's always just this moment, where the togetherness, in all the ways, is more there, more real, more intense, heightened, enveloping, overwhelming.

I feel much more connected to him then, when both of us are fairly emotionally stripped bare, when we're raw, exposed, vulnerable.

Everything else is wonderful, but also based on those moments.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I love after care. It's so snuggly and lovey ^_^

 

[TenCentPistol]

After care definitely. You can be as raunchy or as passionate as you want while pleasuring each other but afterwards when all those hormones in your body have released (oxytocin, and prolactin among others) it gives you this intense connection to each other. I love it.

 

[callinectes2]

Huh, I thought sweet talk was a part of after care. It certainly is in my relationship.

ha, I just read the entire OP. Okay, if I have to pick one then I choose aftercare.

 

[YourCaptor]

After care definitely. You can be as raunchy or as passionate as you want while pleasuring each other but afterwards when all those hormones in your body have released (oxytocin, and prolactin among others) it gives you this intense connection to each other. I love it.

Hormones indeed, that ass is stirring up a few fierce ones right now.

Fight club is awesome. Something about that bitch singer makes me want to clean her up and fuck her back to depravity.

 

[Ravenwind]

Sweet talk. I can't get enough of it, honestly. Aftercare is meh- I'm just as likely to roll over and fall asleep afterward as my Husband is.

 

[rida]

Can I have both?

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

Can I have both?

And if not, I'd prefer after care please!

 

[YourCaptor]

Sweet talk. I can't get enough of it, honestly. Aftercare is meh- I'm just as likely to roll over and fall asleep afterward as my Husband is.

Sweet, variety. How do you draw the line between can't get enough sweet talk and, ok fuck it lets fuck.

Can I have both?

Slut

 

[NomadLady]

After care definitely. You can be as raunchy or as passionate as you want while pleasuring each other but afterwards when all those hormones in your body have released (oxytocin, and prolactin among others) it gives you this intense connection to each other. I love it.

Ditto this....

 

[SimonBrooke]

Another vote (from the dom side) for aftercare. I love the afterwards when she's all surrendered and not resisting at all any longer, and you can just gather her into your arms and hold her, and stroke her, and praise her.

I'd be interested, though, to know how this splits dom/sub - it's clear that a lot of subs are into aftercare, but is the proportion of subs who prefer aftercare greater than, or about the same as, the proportion of doms who do?

 

[callinectes2]

Another vote (from the dom side) for aftercare. I love the afterwards when she's all surrendered and not resisting at all any longer, and you can just gather her into your arms and hold her, and stroke her, and praise her.

I'd be interested, though, to know how this splits dom/sub - it's clear that a lot of subs are into aftercare, but is the proportion of subs who prefer aftercare greater than, or about the same as, the proportion of doms who do?

I'm not a Dom of course, but can speak for mine. He loves aftercare as well, much the same reason as you described. He has also said that the emotional nakedness we enjoy in the aftercare is reassuring to him that I am there because I want to be. He still has a few twinges of guilt about being a sadist and the aftercare is as comforting to him as it is to me.

 

[00Syd]

Sometimes I like the aftercare more than the scene.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

HUH?

Aftercare is after sex? ? ? WTF?

OH! ! ! I think you mean "Afterglow" if you are talking about post-orgasm conversation.

Aftercare is after some serious SM play. After sex you can sleep, cuddle, get dressed and leave or whatever. After a good SM session the pyl is so zoned and mind boggled that getting dressed immediately might be too challenging. THEN is when they need "aftercare"... A warm blanket wrapped around him or her, a drink, maybe something to snack on. Soothing words of praise and comfort and acceptance, giving them time and space to come back down to earth from the endorphin high...

 

[callinectes2]

huh? you mean we can't have serious S&M play and sex at the same time?

 

[Netzach]

If you leave in a hurry because you think you left the stove on you're still OK. Even if you're a huge liar, as long as you were good in the sack.

If you can't duel with me leading up to the act it's never gonna happen.

If you're boring prey and you then need lots and lots of attention after the act, forget it. I'm not an abrupt asshole, but I am not a babysitter either, ew.

I'm all about the lead ins.

 

[callinectes2]

I think this is one of those topics that will split down a party line. For those of us that only practice BDSM or S&M inside an exclusive relationship aftercare, afterglow, and sweet talk are all wrapped up together. For those that play outside of relationships, the three are distinct and separate.

 

[intothewoods]

I think this is one of those topics that will split down a party line. For those of us that only practice BDSM or S&M inside an exclusive relationship aftercare, afterglow, and sweet talk are all wrapped up together. For those that play outside of relationships, the three are distinct and separate.

Fwiw, I'm in that camp and I choose neither. Unless the sweet talk can be replaced with dirty mean talk. Then I'm down.

 

[00Syd]

I think this is one of those topics that will split down a party line. For those of us that only practice BDSM or S&M inside an exclusive relationship aftercare, afterglow, and sweet talk are all wrapped up together. For those that play outside of relationships, the three are distinct and separate.

Eh, I play outside my relationship, and I still see the three as being wrapped up together. You just don't get one without the others, and that's true whether I'm playing with my Person, or with a friend.

 

[YourCaptor]

Fwiw, I'm in that camp and I choose neither. Unless the sweet talk can be replaced with dirty mean talk. Then I'm down.

Somehow this creates a mental image of a causal conversation with a sudden bout of hard fucking in the middle.

 

[unregisterd]

Hell, I would have been happy if my ex had done either. Usually it was just "Come here, now" and "Shutup, don't look at me either"

 

[rida]

Just for the records, my aftercare does not mean cuddling, coddling or any specific catering to my needs (not that I would turn that down). It means I get to enjoy the service part when I get to give my PYL a massage (if so he wishes) and wash his back (and everything else, if so he wishes), and then I get to turn into a pleasant and interesting table companion whether for a meal or a drink.

What I like is that I get to bask in his contentment and know that I contributed to it.

That does not mean that I do not enjoy the lead up, when under his cordial and controlled manners, I can feel the beast trembling with anticipation, and I'm in turn, under my smiley and relaxed exterior made into a scared and stomach-knotted mess.

 

[neci]

not a fan of SM or postcoital sweet talk. water first. relax. return from wherever. intelligible mumbling okay.

 

[YourCaptor]

Just for the records, my aftercare does not mean cuddling, coddling or any specific catering to my needs (not that I would turn that down). It means I get to enjoy the service part when I get to give my PYL a massage (if so he wishes) and wash his back (and everything else, if so he wishes), and then I get to turn into a pleasant and interesting table companion whether for a meal or a drink.

What I like is that I get to bask in his contentment and know that I contributed to it.

That does not mean that I do not enjoy the lead up, when under his cordial and controlled manners, I can feel the beast trembling with anticipation, and I'm in turn, under my smiley and relaxed exterior made into a scared and stomach-knotted mess.

I think she's doing it right.