Swallowing...advice and tips please! *gulp*

[Zilla]

Ok, I have to admit something here. I am a big fucking BABY about one aspect of BJ's. I have given my fair share, don't get me wrong, but I have been terrified to let a guy cum in my mouth since I was a teenager. I was going down on a guy and he shot his load in my mouth totally unannounced. I freaked out, spat everywhere, and have been traumatized ever since.

Over the years I have worked this fear and bad experience up in my head into an actual phobia. I have not let a guy cum in my mouth for 8 years! Only one time have I even tasted cum and I was so freaked out I don't even remember what it tasted like. I am afraid to swallow let alone spit, but I want to do it for my boyfriend. He's not pressuring me in the least, but I know it would send him over the moon and back if I did it. Also, I want to do it so I can get over this stupid fear. I need to confront and conquer!

So this is it: what are your tips and techniques for trauma-free swallowing? What do you do to make it go down the easiest? How do you keep from gagging on the stuff? What would be the best way to ease into this? The idea of doing it turns me on a lot I am just so afraid of it, and I don't want to be afraid of it anymore...but I don't want to have another traumatizing experience that makes me take 8 more years to work up the nerve again! (Ack, feel like such a baby!)

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Dear Zilla, it ain't difficult

Alrighty then; You are in the throes of passion, seeing how the effect of sucking your man's cock is affecting him. You can feel his body trembling because of your mouth wrapped around his cock is driving him mad with desire. You become excited, knowing that YOU are the reason he is reacting this way. Now YOUR passion overtakes YOUR mind, and you begin to make love to his cock with your mouth. Sucking and licking, bringing him closer to orgasm. As his excitement builds, so does yours. Feeling his body on the brink of coming, you take him into your mouth until he is buried deeply. He shoots his nectar into the back of your throat, and you swallow because you want to take his seed, need to taste his cum.

OK?? That's my take on giving head. I make love to my lover's spear with my mouth. Plain and simple. It is my honour and delight to give him this part of me as well as others.

-kym- giving it all that I have........and then some!!

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Pink Orchid, You have once again amazed me with your depth and perception. Hats off to you!


-kym- taking off her hat to Pink Orchid and applauding madly

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

No need to blush, Dear.... And I do too!
What a joy she is missing!!


-kym- wishing all the best for Zilla

 

[Zilla]

Thank you so much for the advice, it is very helpful. I hadn't thought of it from the perspective of how much *I* am turning him on...that's a nice way to look at it.

Also, good call on the bit about being very warmed up myself before going for it. I think that will help a lot! I think warming myself up with a glass of wine or two won't hurt either...

This isn't something I've talked to my girlfriends about since we were all freshman in college, drinking in our dorm rooms late at night. Back then, only a few of us had done too much in the way of oral sex. But recently I asked one of my friends about this and she looked at me like I was nuts, "Of course I swallow. What are you talking about?" I felt stupid and dropped the subject.

I am wondering if, when I do work up the nerve to swallow, do I take him as far back in my mouth as possible when he is climaxing to facilitate it's "going down" easily? Or will this make me gag? It seems like a logical thing to do but I am not sure how it all works out. (I really feel embarrassed that I don't know these things already! )

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Bandit58]

I first did oral for the first time in July last year, and I was 43 years old The thought of letting a guy cum in my mouth had always freaked me out, especially if he was my husband (long story). However I met a great guy who made me feel totally at ease and he also knew I'd never done it before. When we did it he did warn me he was going to cum, thinking that I'd pull away and finish him with my hand, but I just kept going.....and to my surprise I really didn't mind, in fact I enjoyed it immensely.

We had discussed online what we would do and we had decided to share it in a kiss......for both of us it was the first time we'd tasted cum. Also the first time for him that anyone had let him cum in their mouth. We're separated by distance a lot of the time so when we do get together this is one of the special things that we do. I've also managed to overcome a long standing fear of anal sex due to a bad experience in my early years. We've taken things slow and worked up to doing things I thought I'd never do, and it's all so special. I know you'll do the same......if your partner is like mine I'm sure you will

 

[Zilla]

My boyfriend and I are also seperated by a huge distance a lot of the time. He is really wonderful, and never pressures me or makes me feel uncomfortable...and I think that in itself is what has allowed me to relax and enjoy myself so much with him.

And anal sex? Eehh that is a whole other phobia of mine, also caused by trauma from the past. I was injured badly when I was 19 years old by an overly eager and incredibly dense and insensitive boy. Never have quite gotten over that...

Maybe I have more phobias to work through that I thought, geeze!

 

[SexyChele]

Wow! Pink Orchard covered it! Just print out her post and memorize it! Well, maybe not that far - but she is giving you the best advice. Ease into it and build trust.

As far as swallowing? There are some women who just won't do it, period. I always do. In fact, I have difficulty if the guy doesn't want me to swallow. I don't think you would want his penis towards the back of your throat when he cums, though. When you build to that point where he tells you he is cumming, pull his cock to about half-way on your tongue. Normally, the penis spurts. It's not one long stream. Those spurts allow you to swallow as soon as they happen. If he is positioned roughly half way on your tongue, the ejaculate should hit the back of your tongue and that along should cause you to swallow almost involuntarily.

Remember, despite the best porn movies, most men only have about a teaspoon of ejaculate. Measure it out - it really isn't that much. You probably get one two or three good swallows before the spurts stop.

I wish you luck. This can be an terrific experience for both of you!

 

[white_mage_goddess]

I would say its all mind over matter. Just tell yourself that you really WANT to do this and that you will enjoy it. Think it until you believe it.

Of course, I'm not the most qualified to give advice on the subject since this wasnt ever an issue with me. It makes me wonder why some women naturally object to swallowing and some don't. Personally, I never thought twice about it. It was just something I always did. I LIKE the way it tastes and never even came close to gagging on it. In fact I surprised my first lover over the course of our early sexual experiences by showing lots of enthusiasm for swallowing his cum, licking it off of him, having him cum on me, etc..and all this happened back when i was a virgin. I just never had any natural distate for semen.

You said you were traumatized the first time because the guy didn't warn you he was going to cum? Think back about why that bothered you. Did it make you think he was using you disrespectfully? Did it just startle you? What caused the trauma? Since it wasn't a physical trauma it must have been a mental issue. Try getting at the base of it. A lot of women seem to think its degrading to swallow a mans cum. If that's the issue, just realize that your guy loves you and would never ever purposefully degrade you.

The first time i gave a bj was with a guy I was deeply in love with and who had utmost respect for me. (It was his first bj too which took some of the pressure off of me to be perfect.) He never warned me he was coming. It just happened and I automatically swallowed it up and have every time I've performed oral sex since. Maybe it didn't bother me because I was secure in his feelings for me and because I was always 100 percent comfortable with my sexuality.

Anyway, my rambling probably hasn't helped a damn thing, but hey I tried . Good luck overcoming your phobia.

 

[Zilla]

Thanks for all the advice guys, this is great!

I am not sure what about it traumatized me, just the shock of it I think. The guy who did it was an asshole too, so that probably contributed. I had a lot of issues with him.

I know my guy now loves me and would never want to degrade or hurt me, so that is a big part of the reason I have worked up the courage to get even this far. I just want to make him happy and have a great time with him and get over all my silly fears. He is the perfect partner to work through this stuff with too, he is very kind and patient and understanding.

 

[lilpriss]

Ok, I've had a bad experience or two with oral sex too... At first I thought a blow job meant suck on it like a hoover... well that just made my mouth tired and my bf didn't seem to enjoy it.

Then one blissful night (and three bf's later) I was babysitting and there was an unmarked video in the vcr, to which my nosy ass hit play and whammo porn... I was in shock, but also decided to study it because they were :O giving blow jobs WOO HOO!! Let me tell you the next time I saw my bf he asked if I'd read a book or something.

The first time I ever brought a guy to orgasm through oral sex he was so far back in my throat I thought I threw up on him... and I was going on and on about how sorry I was for puking on him... (hehe) he just laughed and said, "you didn't, you didn't, I came in your mouth..." Then I was all proud and stuff.

I didn't really LIKE how cum tasted so I would fake the whole swallowing thing and when my bf came I'd just let it slip and slide while I rubbed his cock...

But the guy I'm with now... I don't know what it is about him... I just want to please him as much as he pleases me... It's an intense and different feeling and the last time I went down on him, well, when he came I actually let his come stay in my mouth for a second before swallowing it and the thought, "don't waste it" flew through my brain as I swallowed it like an oyster YUMMY.

So it's definitely an acquired thing in my opinion. Also depending on how you were raised and your formative sexual experiences...

 

[cindy4u]

humm

Well i was told gay guys are the best to ask, they do it all the time.

I did do it once but i was drunk and it happened so quick, but as far as i can remember it went down at the back so i did not taste it, it did not touch my tonge.

Doing it this way no taste would be better..

cindy

 

[cricketbug]

My 3 1/2 cents!

I never liked the taste of cum when I first started in with oral sex. One thing I did was to keep a tissue handy (bad pun), near the bed and wipe the cum into it if I didn't want to swallow...

However, like the rest of the fellow posters have said, if you let your mind get into it along with your body, it should all work. if not, practice, practice, practice... hell, that's half the fun!

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

Now, to just bump into you girls on my next big night out!

 

[statusq]

i had a gf once who wouldn't swallow, but i didn't know it for the longes time. She subtly dribbled the semen back out onto my penis w/out my noticing. When she told me later on, i was so surprised since i would love to have seen it for the visual pleasure. i guess it's a porn thing, but isn't it normal that seeing cum being dribbled all around is sexy?

 

[Lust Engine]

Phew... after reading some of the experience and experiences here, I'm getting warm & toasty! Wow... to say the least! Some of you ladies are incredible!!!

 

[Zilla]

I'm going to visit him in 10 days, I am gonna print this thread out and read it on the plane to refresh!! He may get attacked in the car in the airport parking lot...

 

[Mike302]

Your getting good advice here.

My wife and I have never had a problem with this, we just gulp it down.

Mike

 

[Lady Tango]

Thank you

The thought of letting a guy cum in my mouth had always freaked me out but after reading all your comments I gave it a go and yes after 20 years of oral I've finally swallowed - that put a broad smile on my guy's face!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Thank you

The thought of letting a guy cum in my mouth had always freaked me out but after reading all your comments I gave it a go and yes after 20 years of oral I've finally swallowed - that put a broad smile on my guy's face!

Good for you!!! And for him too!!

 

[Zilla]

Lady Tango! How was it? Give the details!!!!! Everything!

 

[litdude]

wife's experiences

She did pretty well keeping cum out of her mouth for the first 15 years. Probably had some ideas about it being gross, or probs with taste or feel.

Then, she and I had some denouement about some relationship issues, and she started heavier in on fellatio.

Her first few times receiving cum in her mouth was with me full on deep in her mouth - not good! Lots of gagging. I suggested having just the tip in...so she's done that and is a lot easier with it.

I wouldn't say she has swallowed much. In fact I know she will spit it back out that I know about over half the time. But she will go right back down and hoover me till soft, so she must be getting more.

Plus she has put me in her mouth after I've come in her pussy, so she's getting some there too. I know from kissing her, that she's gotten the taste.

She's mentioned to me a couple of times when she gagged, that it wasn't the taste that was a problem. I'm thinking it might be something mental to ovecome, but I love that she's trying for us!