Surrender

[macmillian]

While Cassi went to the fire place, I went to the horses and doubled checked how they were tied and I hobbled them too. I didn't want to have to search for them in the morning.

Walking back to the wagon I sae Cassi jump at the crash of thunder. My whole being went out to her. Her she was alone and now in the middle of a major storm. In the next bolts of lighting that seemed to light the world, I saw a least six riders pass and risind hard heading west. I watched a few minutes and another group of ten or so galloped by. Looks like I sit up again tonight.

I got to the wagon and pulled out my slicker and extra pistol. then i retreived my New repeating rifle.

"Cassi, please stay with Jenny tonight. I 'll double check her tent, here take these extra blankets, how about some dry clothes or wait till this is over?" I walked her over to Jenny's tent and she was still awake as the storm was still building.

" Cassi, There's riders out tonight, I just saw them go by, heading west. I'll stay close, but I ain't gettin no sleep tonight." I gently touched her cheek and she went inside the tent. I walked around the outside and made sure all things were fast and secure. It was to late to try and move the horses in closer, so I sat at the back of the wagon. From there I could watch the horses, the road, and the rest of the camp. My rifle accross my lap and my hat pulled down low.

 

[icu1978]

jenny sat up and looked to see who was holdingher tent flap open. when cassi came in jenny arched her eye brows and then lifted david in her arms, scooting over to make room for cassi in the small tent.

" what's going on cassi? why aren't you sleeping in alex' tent?"

before cassi could answer lightening lit the sky and shortly after thunder boomed through the night. making both wemon jump with fear and remembered nightmares of the past.

looking to cassi , jenny tryed her best to offer a smile but was unable to convince even herself. with a sigh she looked around her tent for her bag, finding it she reached inside and fumbled around for a second. she could feel cassi's eyes on her and knew that she wondered what she was doing. when her hand touched the small metal and glass cone she had been searching for she pulled it out carefully.

holding the lamp infront of her she ran her finger tips of one hand over the small designs cut into the glass. looking up at cassi with glittering eyes. she held the lamp up and feeling around beneath it she found the small stick that her husband had stuck there before they headed away from their home.

it seemed like ages ago since she had sat with a newborn david in her arms and her husband beside her. take a breath jenny took the small stick and striking it light filled the small tent. pulling the glass glabe up slightly she held the fire to the wick. when it took to the flame she shook the small stick out and placed it back into the bottom of the lamp.and lowered the globe back into place.

with the tent lit by the light of the lamp jenny looked across to cassi. setting the lamp between them . she looked down and placed a hand on davids back feeling the gentle rise and fall. looking to cassi she shruged and smiled sadly.

" durring our marraige, my husband gave me three gifts.. the first was our house, he built it on his own you know..... the second was this precouise baby.. and the day before we left our home to come west he gave me this little lamp."

she looked at the lamp again and then up to cassi who was sitting in the flickering light. the wind and rain seemed to grow wild and jenny called a little louder " im not sure it will stay lit long but at least we have some light while it is." she reached over and pulled the blankets around cassi's drenched form she then moved herself and david over to sit next to her. they all three huddled togethor in their blankets. jumping with each crack of thunder. the howling wind seemed to be moving right through the tent.

 

[CollegeRomantic]

Ava stared after Luke, feeling very confused. She went to her tent, lighting a lamp for warmth and comfort. Sleep was a foregone conclusion for Ava. She would be awake most of the night. She took out her diary from her pack, begining to write.

"Today was harder than the rest. I have joined a group today, thankfully I will no longer travel alone. This is a begining and an end. I have become Ava Chaimberlain now. Not only am I now without home and family, I am without myself. I don't long for the simpler days, they were days of treachery and illusion. I do, however, long for something.

I have said goodbye to daddy and Eli, thought I fear the hole in my heart will never be filled."

At this, tears began to slip down her face though she continued to write as if driven by an outside force.

"Today, the hardest of all, I said goodbye to Finn. I realized that I was not in love with him, but rather with the idea of being in love. That does nothing to lessen the pain, however. I feel as though I have died and been reborn into another woman's body and that that body has taken over all daily action independent of my influence.

What has happened, now, is most peculiar. I have met a man who causes me to feel at one time elated and at another, precarious. It is as though I am standing on the edge of an abyss, peering over the edge, trying to discern what life is like at the bottom. Or if there is life at all."

Ava put down her pen, begining to sob in her tent, the diary acting as a catharsis for her emotions to finally pour free.

 

[rvplymates]

His heart skipped a beat as he heard her laughter...to him, it was a nicer and more welcome sound even than heavy rain after a summer drought.

When she had inadvertantly alighted on his leg and apologised, he was almost overcome by the sensation of her touch and he almost blurted out that she could leave it there as long as she wanted, but he only just managed to keep the words in.

As their eyes met, he realised just how gorgeous her eyes were...beautiful pools of light which should never be dimmed...

As Julia explained her plan, it sounded like a good idea and he resolved to help her in any way he could...not for the fact that she would be paying for most things that they needed...but for the fact that it might let her afford some 'creature comforts' in her life...he didn't assume that her flight from her burning family home had given her much chance to collect many of the things which she needed.

"No problem...me and Amy had thought about roaming around for a while, but I'm sure we could fit you into our 'busy' schedules" he joked.

With a look of deep concern for her in his eyes, he added: "We'll be with you as long as you want us to be, but please don't put yourself out for us if it becomes too painful."

Amy stirred awake and gave small, encouraging licks to Julia's hand.
Trying to keep Julia's thoughts away from what had happended to her family, he said, laughing:"I think you've made another friend there, Julia."

Clayton's joke about fitting her into his busy schedule made Julia laugh again. She realized humor was what had been missing in her life since her people were killed. As she finished laughing she kept her smile on her face.

As he spoke to her kindly again showing his concern about her feelings when she saw her home, she very naturally placed her hand on his cheek and stroke it as she spoke.

*Do not worry so Clayton, it will be hard to go back but we need that gold to survive taveling to the West and then settling there. It will be a new beginning for all of us. It is time for me to pull myself together and start living in a normal manner*

As Julia said this Amy woke up and started to like her hand. She looked at the small dog and smiled and laughed again as Clayton said she had made another friend in Amy. She took her hand off of Clayton's face and held the little dog. She indulged herself with petting and playing for a bit.

"I gues we should get some rest and set out tomorrow"

 

[macmillian]

Luke found me on the western side and rear of the wagon. I had set out two crates in the lee off the wagon. I filled him in on what was happening and he said he would sit up with me too, but I said no, use my lean-to and get some sleep. We rool out early if this storm breaks.

"Good night, Luke. See you in the morning."

The storm raged for most of the night and about three/three-thirty, the wind died down to a light breeze and it was only misting. I estimated that by Five the rain would have stopped.

Cassi had done a good job banking the fire. There was still hot coals underneath.. I was getting stiff from sitting in onr spot, so I rose and started to move quietly around camp. Under the large pine, I found dried cones and a lot of dry pine tinder. It would bur fast and it would burn hot. It would get the fire restarted. When I goth the fire started, I prepared a pot for coffee and put the pot on to boil. I looked in the back of the wagon and found the pan with the cornbread and I cut myself a slice.

 

[macmillian]

Luke....Early morning

I didn't sleep well after Alex sent me off. I heard him moving around and so I redressed and exited the lean-to. It was still dark and a light mist was still falling. The storm was past and a new day would soon begin. I see alex over by the wagon and I walk over, stamping my feet to let him know I am coming.

Luke...."Morning Alex, I couldn't sleep any longer, anything I can do?"

Alex...."Morning, not yet, waiting for the coffee to boil. Piece of Cassi's cornbread?

Luke...."Sounds Good" and I take the offered piece. "Can we talk for a few minutes. Let's go over by the fire while we talk and wait for the coffee."

Alex...."Yea, come on, lead on."

We walk over to the fire and sit, but first Alex checks the coffee.

Luke...."Alex, can a man find a life being as bitter as I am. I am mad at everyone and everything. But in the last twenty four hours I have met people who prove me wrong. You, Cassi, Jenny and Ava. You take me on my merit, at face value. You have shown me kindness that I have not seen in years. Before being wounded, I saw death and destruction and I am part of that destruction. Me, myself. I not sure how to react to people any more. Especially women. I 'm scared, hurt, afraid and lost. Can I be found."

Alex...."The answer to that Luke is you. You have to accept what has happened and move on. We can all help you, but you have to do the work yourself..............Coffee's ready, still want that cup?" I rise and pour two cups and hand one to Luke.

Luke...."So your saying, you all will help if I work at it! OK I think I understand." I take a sip of the hot coffee. Tastes real good on a cool and wet morning. "Good coffee Alex. Like I told Cassi, been a long time since I've had coffee."

 

[icu1978]

jenny slowly opened her eyes, she was still laying beside cassi with david between them. she didn't feel as if she had gotten any sleep at all. her body ached her head fealt as if it would fall off at any moment. she tryed to take a breath and it hurt her chest.. thinking that it was just from the strange way she had slept for those few hours she got up and made sure to cover cassi and david back up with her blanket.

leaving the tent she felt as if she where walking on someone else's legs. she was having a hard time keeping her balance. walking to the fire she pulled her shirt closer around her and sat on a log but still feeling cold she moves closer.. sitting on the ground about a foot away from the glowing flames. looking up at alex and luke she offers a week smile to the two of them.

clearing her throat she looks to alex " would you mind getting my clanket please?" when he looked at her he seen that her face was pale ecept her cheeks where bright red. and her eyes had a glassy look to them.
as he left to get her blanket she leaned back against a log that was used for sitting. unable to hold herself up anymore.

looking to luke who was eyeing her closely she asked for a cup of water. her mouthe felt so dry. as if she had been chewing on cotton all night.when he handed her the cup he could feel the heat radiating off of her body. taking a sip of the cool clear liquid jenny coughed but felt a bit better. when alex appeared with her blanket she took if and covered herself up from nose to toe.

she lay there like that for awhile watchign the fire and feeling like she would never be warm again. sometime later as the sun was begining to come over the horizon her eyes closed and she fell into a deep sleep.

 

[andygorn]

Clayton's joke about fitting her into his busy schedule made Julia laugh again. She realized humor was what had been missing in her life since her people were killed. As she finished laughing she kept her smile on her face.

As he spoke to her kindly again showing his concern about her feelings when she saw her home, she very naturally placed her hand on his cheek and stroke it as she spoke.

*Do not worry so Clayton, it will be hard to go back but we need that gold to survive taveling to the West and then settling there. It will be a new beginning for all of us. It is time for me to pull myself together and start living in a normal manner*

As Julia said this Amy woke up and started to like her hand. She looked at the small dog and smiled and laughed again as Clayton said she had made another friend in Amy. She took her hand off of Clayton's face and held the little dog. She indulged herself with petting and playing for a bit.

"I gues we should get some rest and set out tomorrow"

Her laughter rang out like soft rain once again and her face lit up; he was glad that he could bring the shine to her face and he wanted to ask her if she knew just how beautiful she looked when she smiled, but held himself back at the last second.
He had never thought that he could feel so much for a near-stranger in so short a space of time, but her attitude and demeanour was so refreshing and well...human...that he felt he may be falling for her instant charm.

Unused though he was to female contact, the feel of Julia's hand upon his face had been an absolute revelation to him and he found himself wanting to have the same feeling again.
Looking at her, a young lady used to the finer things in life, he instantly thought of what sort of a state he must look to her:
Unshaven for the last few days and the clothes he wore weren't exactly new (or even his in some cases), he thought that he must look like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Pushing such thoughts aside, however, it made his heart skip a beat as he saw her playing with Amy.
He'd found that the little dog was a good judge of character and (although she didn't usually make friends so quickly easily) she tended to know which people she could settle with...and she had taken to Julia almost as quickly as she had been at ease with himself.

Ever since he saw her, Clayton hd been glad that he'd taken a chance to speak to Julia...perhaps there WAS some truth in what she said about starting new lives out in the West and her words had been reassuring and positive:
His own deep brown eyes shone as he thought of the possibility that perhaps he might be able to start up his own ranch out there, or follow his dreams as a carpenter or, even better, as a vet...of course his ideal would be to do BOTH, but he supposed that there wasn't much demand -even in the West- for someone like that.

He ran his fingers though Amy's fur, smoothing them over her body, tantalisingly close to Julia's slender digits as he responded, trying to smile reassuringly at her:
"If you don't mind me saying so ma'am, I think you're pretty much 'pulled together' already...I think there's a really good future out West for a young lady like yourself who's got drive, a purpose and some idea of what's going on..."
Embarrassed at realising that he had nearly shown the depth of feeling that he had for her, he quickly looked away and added: "...that is, IF you don't mind me saying so..."

His throat felt dry all of a sudden, so he cleared his throat and changed the subject back to her last statement:
<Ahem> "Yes, I think you're probably right about getting some more rest."
"Perhaps you might like to stay here, but I wouldn't have thought that these harsh rocks would make for much easy sleeping for a lady such as yo'self." he said, as he patted the hard boulder beneath them.
"Or perhaps I could escort you somewhere else, milady?" he enquired as he offered her his arm.
As he awaited her reply, Clayton hoped that his exaggerated, mock-courtier, theatrics might keep the smile on her face.

 

[rvplymates]

Julia smiled again as Clayton complimented her once more. It was strange how easily she had taken to his brand of compliments. Sure when she was the belle of the ball she had been given many of them but she found then shallow and unmeaningful. Here was a man she hardly knew and yet there was a depth of feeling just below the surface that told her he meant everything he said. And then he would become shy for what reason she did not know and either hang his head or change the conversation as he had just done.

His amusing tone of voice about bedding down on the rocks caused her to laugh again. And as she pushed away from the rocks she laid her hands on his face.

"You know Clayton, I had no drive or direction until you came into my life. You are a god send to me. Your brought me back from near destruction so there is no reason for you not to tell me what you are feeling. If you would, I am asking you to be my partner in this new adventure west. That being said, I welcome your suggestions and yes your directions as to what we should do. I cannot be the leader here, so I am asking you for your ideas as to what we should do when we get to the west.

She dropped her hands and took a step away from him and as she did her legs weakened and she started to go down.

 

[landiek]

The storm took a toll on Cassi as she rose a little later then normal. Still she stayed warm and dry and she even had lil David all cleaned up and took him out to feed him some watery mush.

Cassi was very quiet as she moved about the campsite with David in the sling at her waist which he didn't seem to mind too much. It was his soft cooing song that brightened her mood up all over.

Still Cassi looked towards the river wondering about the person she smacked with that big ole stick. Was they dead? Were those riders Alex saw earlier after her for hitting and killing someone?

Then she started to fret a little but set the worrying aside, it was in the Lord's hands now.

 

[andygorn]

Julia smiled again as Clayton complimented her once more. It was strange how easily she had taken to his brand of compliments. Sure when she was the belle of the ball she had been given many of them but she found then shallow and unmeaningful. Here was a man she hardly knew and yet there was a depth of feeling just below the surface that told her he meant everything he said. And then he would become shy for what reason she did not know and either hang his head or change the conversation as he had just done.

His amusing tone of voice about bedding down on the rocks caused her to laugh again. And as she pushed away from the rocks she laid her hands on his face.

"You know Clayton, I had no drive or direction until you came into my life. You are a god send to me. Your brought me back from near destruction so there is no reason for you not to tell me what you are feeling. If you would, I am asking you to be my partner in this new adventure west. That being said, I welcome your suggestions and yes your directions as to what we should do. I cannot be the leader here, so I am asking you for your ideas as to what we should do when we get to the west.

She dropped her hands and took a step away from him and as she did her legs weakened and she started to go down.

Almost in slow motion, Clayton saw her start to fall and he lunged forwards and caught her in his arms. From his precarious position, he nearly overbalanced, but years of hard work on the farm had given him a strength beyond his frame and he held her securely.
Standing up, he carried Julia in his arms towards the riverbank and settled her down against a small hillock on a grassy area right next to the water.

He checked her face for signs of dehydration, but she didn't seem to be showing signs of overheating.
To be on the safe side, however, he fetched a small, metal folding cup from his pocket, filled it with river water and set it to one side just in case it was needed; whereupon he began to fashion a fishing rod and line form a couple of branches off the shore and a small ball of string he had.
Clayton sat back down beside Julia and continued to observe her progress as he watched the end of the makeshift rod bob up and down in time with the ripples on the water.
Recalling a story from childhood fishing trips with Uncle Joseph, Clayton unwrapped a couple of small pieces of cheese from his meal-bag and attached them to the lines he'd made and cast one into the water as bait.

As he watched Julia resting, he pondered what she had said:
He'd never considered that he might ever be a 'godsend' to anyone...nor that he could be of help to her.
Her frankness was very welcome and he felt a little ashamed of himself for being so guarded about himself when she had been so open; he hoped that she would not hold it against him.

Amy came trotting over to sit with them and he ruffled her hair as he said quietly (although perhaps Julia might have heard him):
"It would be really great to travel West with Julia and try to make new lives for all three of us, wouldn't it, little girl?", he asked her. Amy's tail wagged excitedly at his question and she settled down onto the soft bed of Julia's skirt.
As Amy snuggled into Julia's lap, Clayton added: "I don't know where we'll find it, but maybe we could find somewhere nice to open the ranch we've always talked about eh, Amy?"

There was no denying that Julia had verve and a youthful confidence, yet there was also a delicacy and a fragility about her, too.
He watched the rise and fall of her chest for signs of distress, but when he saw that she seemed okay, he unconsciously found his gaze still lingering momentarily across her firm bosom.

Cradling Julia's head in his arms once more, he started to talk softly to her as he gently stroked her long brown hair:
"I don't know what ails you, pretty lady, but I swear that I will do all I can to help you...Perhaps you have not eaten? Don't worry, we've got plenty of fresh water and we'll soon have some fishes for lunch."

 

[rvplymates]

Julia found herself in Clayton's strong arms, being carried to the water's edge. The lose of strength in her legs had urged her to think about telling him the rest of her story. He had agreed to travel with her and she thought he should know all that transpired before he met her. She did not know how long it would take her body to regain its strength and maybe he knew something about the condition she found herself in.

As he spoke of a ranch to Amy, she smiled. He was so shy to suggest it directly to her but she could understand that. Hadn't she always been guarded with other people as he was with her? She knew that he still was unsure of her. He had been hurt by her kind so deeply that it was no wonder he didn't quite trust. She knew it wasn't her personally he didn't trust but all possibilities must be going through his mind.

"Clayton, I do not know why the weakness is in my body but I can tell you how I got this way. It is time for you to know all about me as you have agreed to travel with me. After my family was killed, I traveled aimlessly for over a year. Learning how to be swift and accurate with gun and knife. Then one day I came across Alex and Cassie. I stayed with them for awhile, until one evening I awoke from my reocurring nightmare of my families death. As I awoke I heard Alex and Cassie fornicating in the tent near by. This is why I ran from my home as I did not want that kind of relationship and their sounds made me leave their campsite.

Stupidly, my mind preoccupied with what had happen, I found myself surrounded by bandits. I killed quite a few of them before I ran out of ammunition. Then they grabbed and stripped me. Several of them held me to the ground as the leader readied himself to rape me. Just as he lowered himself to my body a shot rang out and he fell on me dead. One by one the bandits were killed and there I was naked with no clothing to put on as they had distroyed mine. I ran for the bushes and shortly thereafter a handsome man, obviously the killer of these bandits came on the scene.

As he went through their things I watched him and then he was gone. I found something to wear amoung the bandits posessions and struck out again. I came upon the killer and he offered me food and a place to stay for the night.

Well to make a long story short, I stayed with O'Shien and as time went on we fell in love and became intimate. I promised him to protect his back. He was a well know gun slinger called the Irish ghost. As we traveled, many times he was called out and dispatched many men. I always was with him making sure no one attempted to kill him from behind. Then one day he was called out by a young man who feigned being scared, he had us both fool. As we turned our back on him, he shot and killed O'Shien. I turned quickly and shot him through the head. I had failed to protect O'Shien back*

Her voice cracked as she continued.

*I laid him to rest in that town and then did what I had done before, roamed aimlessly around the south in deep depression. I did not eat, I hardly slept such was the anguish that I was in that I just gave up but did not die as I wished too.

Clayton, I lost touch with reality and I do not know how much time has elapsed. I had not eatten for a long time when you came across me, I had not lived, I had existed. I knew I was in trouble as my belt buckle was pulled another notch.

I was on a destructive path, Clayton, when you came along and pulled me by my boot straps off that path. Now I have eaten as you know you fed me. I am feeling stronger but when I tried to walk before my legs just gave out. I do not know how long it will take for my strength to return. Have you ever been with someone who has not eatten for a long time? If so, could you tell me how long it will take for me to be at full strength*

As Julia spoke she absentmindedly petted Amy who had found a home on her lap. The little dog's body was warm and soft and had a calming effect on her. Clayton's eyes gave her the courage to tell him everything he needed to know.

 

[andygorn]

He hadn't expected Julia to be so open with him, but it was really nice of her to share her experiences with him.
He felt sad for her at the loss of the Irish Ghost...O'Shien sounded like he had been a good man who had stood by her, but who had been struck down by an underhanded trick.

As Julia finished her recollection, Clayton felt as though a veil had been lifted from his eyes and (unbidden) all of his guardedness and barriers came down in an instant.
He could not know the horrors of what she had faced and -as a man- he probably never would truly understand what life had been like for her, but he resolved there are then to do what he could to try to keep her from any more hurt.
He held her close in his strong arms, hoping that it might take some of her pain away, as he spoke gently to her:

"I'm afraid that I don't know much about people's ailments, as I've always been fonder of animals than of folks, but I think maybe that we should take things slowly.
"No-one really knows how long things like this will take, but I think the important point is not to rush...given the right treatment, a body can usually heal itself of most things, but all too often, the mind wants to go places and do things before it's had chance to fully rest. Sleeping and resting can be 'doing something' too..."

"It seems that you're not as strong as you would like to be and travelling in these parts ain't kind on a body which is unwell...moving off before you're a lot better really might make things a lot worse."
"There could be any manner of things over the next hill, who knows? At least here, we've got a bit of safety, along with plenty of shelter and provisions, so staying awhile here so's you can get better won't hurt...the West ain't going anywhere without us." he joked, trying to raise another smile from Julia's soft pink lips.

Recalling some of the things that Pastor Thomas had said at his mother's funeral, Clayton said:
"Please tell me to mind my own business if you want to, Julia, but I think perhaps you might need to grieve properly for O'Shien...although he has physically left, the circumstances of his death appear to still linger over you."

Stroking his fingers through her dark hair as much to soothe himself as for her rest, Clayton said:
"I did not meet this man -nor even hear of him if truth be told- yet it seems that you both enjoyed each other's company and that he left you with memories of good times; this makes me believe that he was a good man."
"Certainly his act of saving you from those bandits was very charitable and a very good deed to perform and no man who is spoken of so fondly can have been a bad person in any way."
"I have never been in such a situation as he found you in, but I very much hope -if this happens to me- that my courage would even be half of that which he showed."

"I think that -by killing the man who shot your love- you have already done all that honour demands, but perhaps you feel that it was not enough...?"
"Or perhaps you feel that he should not have passed over at all and that he should have stayed with you?"

"I don't know why I think this, but I reckon that -if he was physically here- O'Shien would want to talk to you now and to ask you to recall the good times that you shared, rather than for you to be remembering the circumstances of his passing and for you to be asking him to come back when he cannot...at least, that is the way in which I would like people to think about me when I cross over."
Clayton had virtually never even thought much about death before this very moment, but he found that he couldn't help but speak freely from his heart to this beautiful woman; even about things he'd never really considered himself.

"I do not know what you do when people pass on, but -when they could afford to- my family used to like to hold things called wakes for them."
"If I remember Reverend Thomas correctly, these are almost like parties where people eat and drink a lot and they tell stories and recall the good times that they shared with the departed. It seems to be so that they can pass over properly."

"Perhaps, if and when you feel mentally strong enough to do so, you might like me to help you to do this for O'Shien?"
Recalling the older man fondly, Clayton added:
"Although I wasn't much of a church-goer, Reverend Thomas would always say that he had enough belief and hope in his heart that each and everybody in the world might one day live good lives...whether they went to church or not. But he also told me that ever good life down here is, somehow, lessened unless the departed can pass freely over to where they are supposed to be going."

Clayton quickly added sincerely:
"I've never talked to no-one like that before...not even my Ma..."

"I am TRULY sorry if you think I've said too much, or if I have intruded on your feelings, or if you feel that I have told you what to do...we all have to deal with things in our own way and I was not trying to impose my ways on you...but I was just trying to give you my limited perspective in a very earnest hope that it might help you...even if only a little..?"

"I also think that it would have been a GREAT shame if we had not met, as you would not have been here to save me and Amy as well, you know?"
Respectfully he added:
"If a travelling companion had done the same for me and Amy but they were anybody else other than yourself, I doubt that I would ever have told them that in a thousand miles...but you are honest with me and I thought that you at least deserved to know...and your attitude is SO warm and friendly that I could not help but be anything other than honest with you, too."

To break the slightly uneasy silence which followed, Clayton jokingly added:
"After all, had we not met, then we would not be sharing this exquisite fish supper by the river...WHEN we catch something to eat, that is!"
Just then, the rod jiggled as a sign that the bait had worked.

 

[rvplymates]

Julia felt warm and comforted in Clayton's strong arm, as he spoke she saw the brillance of this everyday man who saw life more clearly than she did. She smiled at his joke about the West still being there when they were ready to go.

"Yes Clayton as you the the West will be there when we get there. To gain strength here with you and Amy is the wise thing to do"

She smiled at him and laid her cheek on his chest as she continued to listen to his words of wisdom. He was right she should celebrate O'Shien's life instead of wallowing in the circumstances of his death, he would not have liked what she had done to herself.

A wake when she was stronger would be an excellent idea. She snuggled into Clayton's arms. A feeling of comfort that she had not felt since her family's death covered her like a blanket.

She smiled as he said she had save him and Amy also. She had not thought of that. It made her fell important to them also, it was a wonderful feeling. When he stopped speaking a silence fell and as she raised her head to look into his eyes his wonderful humor rose up again.

She laughed as he made a joke about eating this wonderful fish. Her eyes caught the movement of his line at the same time he did.

"Ah, the great fisherman had better grab that pole"

She laughted once more.

 

[CollegeRomantic]

Ava opened her eyes, sniffling. She sat up, the smell of coffee making her realize that it was indeed morning and that the others were up. Looking into her compact mirror, she saw the evidence of a night spent crying. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was sniffling. Doing her best with her hair and clothes, she left her tent for breakfast.

Still feeling pensive and introspective, she said little as she joined the group around the fire, only offering a brief but warm smile in Cassi's direction. She sat on a log, cradling her coffee in her hands as she stared into the fire, still thinking.

 

[macmillian]

Alex....It was almost five in the morning and it seemed as though most of our group was up and around. I had taken care of the horses with Luke and we returned to the fire to get more coffee when I relized Jenny was asleep on the ground near the fire.

I walked over to her and knelt down beside her. She was pale looking and when I felt her head, she was extreme warm.

"Cassi, please come here a moment. I think you better check Jenny!"

*********************************************************

Luke....I entered the camp along with Alex and we said our mornings to all present and I went over and sat next to Ava. I wispered a personal "Good Morning" as I sat. Even at this hour she looked wounderful.

"I saw Jenny earlier and she didn't look well at all, seems Alex is a little concerned too." We sat and watched.

"Ava, Food woun't be ready for awhile, why don't you and I go and get you packed and ready to go. Alex said it was alright to put your things in the back of the wagon. Make it easier for you to ride."

We rose and walked slowly over to her tent and together we packed up her belongings and placed them in the wagon.

 

[CollegeRomantic]

Ava smiled distractedly at Luke. While gathering her things, she is again distracted. When she and Luke are away from the group she whispered conspiratorially to Luke "I don't think Jenny is well enough to travel." Saying nothing more, she puts her things in the back of the wagon. She turned again, to watch Luke as he worked efficiently, regardless of his missing arm. Just standing there she watched him, until he turned around....

 

[macmillian]

Ava smiled distractedly at Luke. While gathering her things, she is again distracted. When she and Luke are away from the group she whispered conspiratorially to Luke "I don't think Jenny is well enough to travel." Saying nothing more, she puts her things in the back of the wagon. She turned again, to watch Luke as he worked efficiently, regardless of his missing arm. Just standing there she watched him, until he turned around....

Luke....

I could feel her eyes on me. I didn't have to see her looking, I knew she was. At this point I usually lose my temper and scream and shout at hte person looking at me. Embarrising both of us in the process.

When I turned, she was indeed watching me. I gave a half hearted smile to her and we returned to the fire. I sat and picked up my coffee cup as Ava filled both our cups again. Jenny still lay asleep near the fire and Cassi was finnishing the remainder of the breakfast.

Alex was over with the horses so Ava and I sat and talked.

"Ava, I said I several things that I need to say to you and have to be said. When I was wounded and the doctor took the arm, I left the military hospital a verry bitter and angry man. I was mad at the enire world and everyone in it. I didn't want any help and the people I met made jokes or poked fun at me. Even though I lost the arm fighting for them in the war." I paused and drank some coffee before continuing.

"I don't read very well and I can't write left handed. I cant use a knife and fork, I use a spoon. I getting better doing for myself, but I need help, like instructions. Alex said hei is going to help with using a pistol, shooting and reloading. What I really need is someone to help me read better and to learn me hoe to write, at least my name." Another pause, Cassi was fussing over David and so I continued.

"This I am telling you and It can go no further than us. Alex has worked on his father farm and then his farm when his parents died. He worked from sunup to sunset. He was one of the first to voin the Georgia Milita at twenty three just before the tart of hostilities. He went thorghu five years of killing and bloodshed and distruction. That was Alex Six months ago.

"Cassi is in the same boat, slave laborer, child breeding, I heard that her kids wer taken from her and she hasn't seem them since. Slave, do the do that for may years. Those two met up, Alex and Black Cassi. They start out as companions and rise to become lovers. LOvers who can't do it out in the open.... You know that Alex is in love with Cassi and I would say Cassi is in love with Alex. What do you think?"

"I am staying and traveling with this group, why? Because of you, Alex and CAssi and Even Jenny with her Baby, You all have been patient with me and I hop that it wouln't be held against me. Alex says that id I try , he'll work and well me and he is a man of his word.""

"Now Ava, will you teach me how to read and write, how to nicely without getting everthing all ove the place. I need your help too. To get through this and we say nothing untill I have some mastery of it. so what do you think Ava???"

 

[CollegeRomantic]

Ava stared into the fire as Luke recounted everyone's backstory. Every word sliced her as he told of their struggles, their trials, their lives. She frowned deeply. Here she was, taking up these peoples time and energy while she had plenty of money to get herself West in a private coach with not a care in the world. And yet she was here, lying to people. She smiled fondly, but sadly at Luke. "Of course I will teach you to read. That's why I'm headed west. I want to open a school." Ava put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him.

Thinking again about her deception, tears once again spring to her eyes. She could never tell them the truth, never let them know who she was. They would hate her, force her to leave. Shun her. She couldn't bear that. And al for being the daughter of a shipping heir.

"When would you like to start lessons Luke? I do have a sampling of books here...."

 

[landiek]

"Cassi, please come here a moment. I think you better check Jenny!"

Cassi turned her head and smiled at Alex. Even David was in good spirits as he was cradled in the sling without fear. "Yes Sir Masser Alex."

Cassi strode over to where Jenny was sleeping and knelt down to exam her chest. "Miz Jenny is just sleeping sound."

Cassi knew that was not a good sign but remained calm as shewanted to slip the sling off her shoulder and about Masser Alex's neck Cassi walked back to the wagon and got a fresh bucket walking to the river ever watching the way she fetched the bucket of cool water then took the fancy hankie that Alex gave her and patted the cold fabric to the feverish head.

Even when David started to fuss Cassi merely gave him a knuckle of cool dipped water to sate that hungry belly of his while she rubbed on Jenny's fingers.

After a bit Cassi had breakfast ready and took a plate over to where Jenny was still resting. "Miz Jenny.. here yore needin to eat somethin.. I's got David dressed and fed so yore not to worree none."

 

[macmillian]

Luke Talking with Ava; ....

"I would like to start tonight when we stop, if that is OK with you. After supper and the camp has settled down. Alex says we should be in the next town early this afternoon."

I look at Ava and I want to say more but I am unsure of myself to speak on such matters. I can talk of others, but not about myself. I have never had to really talk about myself or my feeling before.

"Ava. Last night behing the wagon and I held you......I.....I.....I wanted to protect you! It has been a very long time since I held a woman anddddd....I just wanted to say................................ I .................." I don't finish and I drop my head, loooking at my feet.

 

[CollegeRomantic]

Stunned, she turned to Luke, momentarily disarmed by his abruptness. He was talking about protecting her. Keeping her safe. Overcome with an emotion that she didn't really understand, Ava hugged him. "You, Mr. Harrold... are a very nice man. A very, very nice man." For a moment, she just buried her face in his shoulder, allowing herself to give in to being close and being protected.

 

[icu1978]

taking the food cassi offered she ate slowly. the food was already making her feel better. jenny watched the others moving about camp packing up and getting ready to pull out. deciding she too needed to get up and pack her gear and her tent up so that no one had to go out of their way to pack her belongings for her. placing her half eaten plate of food by the fire she stoof on wobbly legs.

going to her tent she crawled inside and began throwing her belongings inside of her bag. once she had that done she took it out and set it by the log and blanket she still had there. those where the things she would need handy while riding in the wagon with david and cassi.

going back to her tent she folded her blankets and pillows. then began pulling her tent down. folding the tarp she took all of this over to the wagon and placed them in the back along with the steaks and ropes. stoping she leaned against the wagon to rest. her face was very white and she had broken out in a cold sweat. all she wanted to do was lie down some where and sleep for the rest of her life. but she refused to continue to let people wait on her like she was an invalid. standing as strait as she could she moved back to the fire and standing next to the dancing flames she let the warmth absorb into the chilled flesh before grabing her blanket and pack.

taking them she through them up onto the back seat of the wagon that alex had put in for her. turning she seen that the others where still in the process of puting their things in the wagon. jenny walked back over to the fire and sitting down she held her hands palm out to the fire. her fingers felt like ice. she couldn't understand why she was so cold.

 

[macmillian]

Stunned, she turned to Luke, momentarily disarmed by his abruptness. He was talking about protecting her. Keeping her safe. Overcome with an emotion that she didn't really understand, Ava hugged him. "You, Mr. Harrold... are a very nice man. A very, very nice man." For a moment, she just buried her face in his shoulder, allowing herself to give in to being close and being protected.

Luke .... With Ava's head on my shoulder, I put my arm around her waist for the second time and gently drew her close. I could feel the burning anger and hate within me cool just a little. It would take a long time to for the flames to die and to cool.

"Ava, Oh my Ava. Now you are the one at a lost for words, just like me. Right now I am experiencing feelings and emotions I thought I would never feel again. I am a lost and wandering soul that has found another kindred and just maybe we can help each other."

I glance over towards the fire and I see Alex and Cassi watching the two of us embrassing. I drop my arm from around her waist and turn and take your hand and walk with you back to the fire. I have the feeling that I stand ten feet tall and the world looks better today than it did last night.

********************************************************

Alex .... I saw Jenny put her dish down and walked with uncertain steps over to her Tent. I rose to go and see if I could Help and Cassi Put her hand on my arm and shook her head no. I looked closely at her and sat back down and finished my breakfast.

Jenny having completed her chores, she returned to the fire and tried to get herself warm. She still appeared to be ill. I went over to where she slept and picked up some of the bowes that had made her bed and placed them in the wagon and climbed up inside and set about making a pallet for Jenny to Lay upon. First the Pine branches and then a tarp and then covered with as may blankets that I could find.

I returned to the fire and another cup of coffee.

Alex .... "Jenny, I fixed a place in the wagon for you to lie upon. Why don't you go and lay down and rest. There are plenty of blankets and you would be more comfortable. We can take care of the rest. You have done enough for now. So please go and rest....."

Alex .... Standing next to Cassi I asked how long it would take to finish packing and getting everthing loaded. She looked at me and then arround the campsite before she answered.

 

[CollegeRomantic]

Ava stood, smiling at Luke, her eyes still troubled. She went over to her horse, talking softly to him and stroking him softly. She then went to the wagon, getting her saddle out of her things and readying her horse for riding. She then went to Alex, smiling courteously. "When we ready ourselves for travel, I am.... requesting that I ride my horse. Miss Jennifer and young David would be far more comfortable if I were riding." Walking back to the fire, she places a hand on his shoulder as she walks off to the creek to wash up.