suicide/depression

Been through it.. still going through it, kinda..

Only advice I can give is to try to find the joy in everything you do.. in all the small things.. and even if it isn't a real one, try to smile every day..
 
Sweetie, this hasn't been used in a while but I think it helped a few people with the question you've asked. thread on depression.

There's argumentative stuff to skip, but the personal accounts and advice are very helpful, most from people here who have experienced severely clinical depression (including me).

Take care, Perdita :heart:
 
A ways back . . . about eight years ago I think. Guy I knew in my early academic years. Wondered about it but never contemplated it, if that makes sense. I always thought that if something were to happen, it would happen a few moments before the most interesting thing that COULD happen, and I would miss it. So I talk to friends and keep on going, and things are looking pretty good for me now.
 
Just recently, although coming out the other side (I hope) now.

There was nothing that could be said to make me feel better and all the offers of support made no difference. At the darkest, I seriously considered opening my wrists. I crossed roads without looking for cars; nihilism wasn't a strong enough word - if something was to hit me, then it would hit me. I don't know quite what broke it, but a chink opened and a friend of mine (who was completely oblivious of my depression) forced their way in with a simple offer of love and a confirmation of attraction. It was the kick my self-confidence needed and thankfully I've lifted now. Platitudes were useless, the only thing that reached me was a pure, heartfelt confession of emotion. I couldn't stand to hear anything else.

Is that a help at all?

The Earl
 
I am no stranger to the variety of depression known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is a common foe of people who live in northern regions or work the night shift (I do both) or, like submariners and miners, spend a lot of time underground/underwater. The "seasonal" aspect relates to these short winter days and long nights. Basically, it has to do with never seeing the sunlight. I have a full-spectrum light bulb over the computer, which is supposed to help. Some years, though, I need a little extra and have to go on a short stint of anti-depressants.

Sabledrake
 
TheEarl said:
Just recently, although coming out the other side (I hope) now.

There was nothing that could be said to make me feel better and all the offers of support made no difference.

That's where I am right now.
 
SIMA, I've no more advice than what I've already given before. I do encourage you to check out the thread 'Dita and Lucky linked. If you need an ear, sweets, you know where to find me. :rose:
 
minsue said:
SIMA, I've no more advice than what I've already given before. I do encourage you to check out the thread 'Dita and Lucky linked. If you need an ear, sweets, you know where to find me. :rose:

Thanks honey
 
Yes, I've been there sima.

I had a marriage go bad, a career fail and my brain chemistry went funny all at the same time.

Plus where I live had a change of government to a person of the Shrub II mold. One of the first things he did was cut welfare by 20% (Lazy scum never worked a day in their lives and all that)

I couldn't pay my rent and was evicted, in February, in Canada.

I found myself hanging from my own belt.

Luckily I found the strength to get down and get some help.

It took a long time after that to get truly well.

So my best advice is to hang on. You can come out the other side of this. The people who love you can help. Don't be afraid to ask them.

Make sure you take your meds as prescribed.

And get therapy. You really need a trained professional who you are comfortable with to help you look at yourself in an honest light. Human beings tend to lie to themselves and our illness makes this worse. If you don't have a therapist you are comfortable with and doesn't seem to be helping, find another.

And above all, never give up. In spite of my problems I never did. It was hard to find sometimes, but I never gave up.

*HUGS* and :kiss:es babe. You can make it.
 
I'm dysthymic, with intermittent bouts of major depression (in that case sometimes called "double" or "atypical" depression). You're right, nothing anyone says makes you feel better, and a lot of it just pisses you off, if anything. On my bad days, I just curl up under the covers, turn off the phone, and sleep as much as possible. Usually, that's quite a lot, because another symptom I get is early-morning waking.

Get some meds. You'll feel like you're doing something about it, even though they take forever to kick in. Therapy is great, if you can afford it - first, it forces you to get dressed and leave the house and talk to someone about it. Second, they won't tell you to buck up, get off your ass or snap out of it, and won't take it personally. They will give you some good advice, like don't make any major decisions until you've stabilized a bit. You'll feel a bit more like a normal person, whatever that is.

I got a lot of books about depression, but that may just be my reaction. When I want to understand something, I read books about it. That helped me get some perspective. It helped me to gain a bit of emotional detachment as well - quite a lot of it has to do with brain chemistry, which is really strange to think of sometimes. But at least you'll be able to step back from the dark spiral and try to argue with yourself. "Suicide is not a good idea" would be a good argument to make. That's permanent; depression is not, and even if it is, you can learn to live with it.

Holidays suck. You probably won't feel like socializing, but try not to be by yourself either. Someone who would like to just sit and watch football, and then throw in a couple of TV dinners, would be ideal. Like a babysitter. You can mope around in your bathrobe or sweats all day, you don't have to say two words, and you won't do anything too stupid.
 
Going through it now, hopefully over the worst of it this time


“Suicide is not chosen; it happenswhen pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”


I found this in a website after my attempt a few months ago.
If you're still here...you're doing great. It's finding that someone who can hear you or stopping to find it really isn't going to help even though it sounds like the best alternative.

It's the painful torturous way your mind tells you that everything is wrong and it can't be fixed. It's the demon that whispers your failures....and it's all a lie.
 
I contemplated such things, but never reached the depths some of us here have. That was a long time ago and I thankfully have not had a desire to hurt myself for a long time.

SIMA, all I can offer is my friendship, an ear and a hug. I hope it is there when you need it.
 
she_is_my_addiction said:
Anyone been through it? Have any advice for those who need it? Wise words? Kind words?

Awesome.

Been there, done that, still there.

I think the first step to do is to 'know' that you are depressive and that you need help. You have to admit that it is a desease like all others, just it's a mental desease.

Then one should seek professional help at least once to check on how serious it is. And you have to talk about it with people you love and trust.

From then on it's all uphill.

Snoopy
 
Uh, well...okay. Here's my run down.

I've known a lot of borderline suicide cases and had to personally intervene in one suicide case of a friend. I also used to be borderline suicidal.

But the thing to remember is that suicide is bullshit. No matter how much life hurts, no matter how much searing pain flutters through your skull, no matter how many friends have abandoned you, no matter how fucked up the world looks, or how hard it is to believe in eternal justice. Through it all suicide is bullshit.

Why? Because all you get is this one shot on this planet. There's no redos. Even if the Buddhists are right, this is the only time this personality gets to experience the world. Sure, there are times when it all seems pointless and there'll be times when it doesn't look like the sun will ever come up again and who knows, maybe it won't, but you'll be alive. And that's not nothing.

I made up my mind a while ago that I wouldn't let myself throw it away, even when it seemed my options were between early death or mass murder. I made the same decision about my friends. They helped me through the darkest moments, I helped them through their darkest moments. So, find those true friends who can do that and until then remember that the alternative to a life of pain is far worse than you can imagine.

And believe me when I say I can well guess what you're feeling. The crippling desire to crawl up in a fetal position and die after life lets you down yet again, the contemplation as you hold a sharp blade and wonder if you still feel, or perhaps the nihilism and loss of faith in humanity that accompanies displays of mass ignorance like Nov. 2. I know those feelings and how scary they can be, but I also know that if you're tough enough even the strongest among them can be resisted. You just need to remember to want to live, to try again for happiness, to hold on against the blackness. You have to desire life above all else. You have to keep fearing death. As long as you can do that, it'll all end up reasonably okay.

Okay, that's enough for the demon today.
 
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