Suggestions please

[petrel]

Okay everyone, some of you know me reasonably well by now and I need the benefit of your expereinces and ideas on this one. I want to plan a 'special' BDSM evening in character and in scene. We've played pretty heavily on the SM side of things and incorporated alot of DS stuff but never actually played together and Dom and sub properly.
I would find it alot easier if we set up a scene/script beforehand so I need ideas;
Woudl you sort it all out beforehand and then go straight into the scene, would you take talking about it as part of the 'warm-up'

I have an intense desire to be fully submissive to my partner and therefore I don't really want to play any part except that of his submissive pet but I am not that! I am his partner and so how do I move into that position in the relationship for this night?

We have discussed hard and soft limits, safe words etc etc etc, I think the main issue is that he is not Dom and although he enjoys aspects of that he does not desire to be dom to me(or I don't think he does). Not that he's against it it just isn't such a burning desire as my feeling of wanting to submit.

Anyway ideas please otherwise you'll end up with a ratty, frustrated Petrel on here and be warned I get Very sarky when I'm frustrated

 

[cellis]

petrel,

Can you ask him to set a scene for the two of you? I mean can you ask him to take charge of the evening, so that you can just be for the evening?

I mean I don't know how to get him to do this unless you just ask him to. You might want to ask him to read some the items on the this forum to give him some ideas.

One of the favorite things that Himself does is that he will occasionally call me at work and tell me to go home, be naked and waiting in the bed, blindfolded. He will give me a time frame that he will be there, and he always makes me wait, which only increases the anticipation. Because I am blindfolded I do not know what he is doing. Sometimes he will bring new rope and bind me foot and hand to the bed. Sometimes he will not allow me to touch him, or to speak.

Sometimes I will bound face up, sometimes face down. Sometimes he uses the flogger first, sometimes it is the candle wax and ice. The thing is I never know what he is going to do. I never know when he is going to call and give me the orders.

Perhaps you could suggest something like this to him.

 

[James Blandings]

My advice would be that you make a list of suggestions of things that you'd like to do that is a good deal longer than you'd ever get to in your session. Then your dominant could pick and choose from the lisr, insuring that you are only doing things you have already agreed are ok, but at the same time avoiding any feeling that he is following a script of your making.
Perhaps you want to try having a particular signal that scene time has begun. One Domme I play with has a red lightbulb in a lamp in her playroom. We sit and chat or whatever, but the instant the red light comes on, we go into full Domme/sub role.

 

[HotXBunz]

JamesBlandings and cellis these are hot and juicy ideas. Thank you thank you.

One time my Honey and I did a "pick up" role play at our favorite club. We chatted on the way there and when we arrived kissed and said goodbye. We had arranged in advance for a time-out signal, which she had to use hehehehe. I do not think she expected me to actually leave the building with someone. It was a mondo fun night.

One problem I have at times is with dialogue during role play. Some of the things I say sound so corny to me and I fall out of character. Now in a power exchange I have no problem with expressing myself (or not) but role play can be tricky.

The only thing I would add to the already excellent ideas that have been shared is not to set you and your partner up for failure. This will be your first time playing like this and it can feel very awkward at first. I shared on another thread how silly I felt wearing a strap on. This is stereotypically supposed to be the mainstay of lesbian sex and I have a real hard time with it. If my partner needed this to be pleased I would adjust but I can assure you I would be giggling in my head. Try not to have too many expectations and just go with it. Your partner may not be real comfortable and get performance anxiety. You will want to creat a space where he can be less than the perfect Dom. Hopefully he will want to play lots more if it turns out fun.

I hope this special evening turns out to be everything you are needing and wanting. Keep us posted. Good luck and most of all have fun.

 

[cellis]

HotXBunz

We have not really done any role play yet. I think that Himself rather likes seeing if he can stay one step ahead of me, thinking up new things to keep me off guard.

We have an egg that we use all the time ( and have put a remote control one on the christmas list). He loves setting the control and having me wear it in public places, particularly to work. Because it is quiet, I can do this and no one will ever know.

One of his favorite things is to have me wear it and then leave instructions on my answering machine at home or cell phone as to what I am to do that night when I get home from work. And after I am done with what ever tasks he gives me, I am to call him or to write him in detail about what I did and how I followed his directions.

Oh there are more ideas.... lol... Himself is a most creative Dom....

and I am a most lucky girl....

 

[HotXBunz]

Cellis, may be OT but do you have problems with your eggs breaking? This is one of our fav toys and we get about five uses out of one. We do not pull on the wires or get it real wet. We have paid up to $40 for one only to have it break as fast as the cheepos. We found some on ebay dutch for.39 (plus mondo postage) We bought 10.

We too have a remote on our wish list. I love wearing toys out in public. Don't laugh but we have a viber that plugs into the car lighter. We kid about the SUV being fully loaded.

Your Dom sounds most creative. My Honey and I have been together 9 years now and are still coming up with new and exciting ways to keep each other on our toes. It also sounds like you are very willing to please him. Both of you are very very lucky. In case I have not told you, I love your AV. I have been meaning to say something before this time.


I had shared in another thread that my Honey wasn't as "forceful" as I wish she would be. Her limits are not as far out there as mine I guess. Anyway, something registered becasue she has been very very dominant in our last sessions. Maybe she likes what I do to her? I truly believe we each evolve in this lifestyle in our own time.

Petrel, have you had your weekend and, if so, how did it go?

 

[cellis]

Cellis, may be OT but do you have problems with your eggs breaking? This is one of our fav toys and we get about five uses out of one. We do not pull on the wires or get it real wet. We have paid up to $40 for one only to have it break as fast as the cheepos. We found some on ebay dutch for.39 (plus mondo postage) We bought 10.

We too have a remote on our wish list. I love wearing toys out in public. Don't laugh but we have a viber that plugs into the car lighter. We kid about the SUV being fully loaded.

Your Dom sounds most creative. My Honey and I have been together 9 years now and are still coming up with new and exciting ways to keep each other on our toes. It also sounds like you are very willing to please him. Both of you are very very lucky. In case I have not told you, I love your AV. I have been meaning to say something before this time.

Thank you HotXBuns...

I got a new digital camera for my birthday and Himself has had the best time with it... me I just dress up and he shoots... LOL...

The last egg I bought actually came in a toy kit with an assortment of jelly toys... what a waste... wont buy those again. But the egg is heavy duty and is detachable from the control unit and has multi speed adjustment. I think I got it at Adam and Eve.com. I had a bad habit of buying toys (so Himself says) and then taking them apart... so that most of our eggs came from other toys.... salvage the usuable parts I say. We have not had too much problem with the eggs breaking.

On the other hand, we go through vibrators like water. My favorite vibrator just died and I cannot remember where I got it. I think it came as a free gift and I had to reformat my hard drive after I bought it and I cannot find the store.

We actually have a dresser drawer full of toys, but the ones we play with all the time we keep in a storage box under the TV next to the bed. Because we have only been together 9 months, Himself and I periodically go through the toy drawer and add new toys to our usual ones. This way he can think of different things to do and it keeps everything fresh and exciting. Also, neither of us felt the pressure to perform at a level we were not at in the beginning of our relationship.

 

[petrel]

a flavour of what happened
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=84323

read my post on page 1

 

[HotXBunz]

Petrel, "interesting", you tell us these juicy tidbits and then just say "interesting". Bend that touchy ass of yours over and let me at it. LOL

I really don't want details Love.(well, unless you want to spill) I am wondering how you felt about the whole deal.? How did your partner hold up? Was it everything you wanted it to be. Will you do it again?

Cellis, thanks for sharing about the eggs. What did you mean when you said you take your toys apart?

We came home today to hear loud buzzing from the trash can. Apparently my daughters toy had fallen into the trash bag while she was cleaning her room and she was not about to go fishing for it. When she hefted it into the trash bin it turned on. Living with adult children can be most interesting.

 

[petrel]

Petrel, "interesting", you tell us these juicy tidbits and then just say "interesting". Bend that touchy ass of yours over and let me at it. LOL

Is that a promise HotXBunz?????

you know it might take a bit of 'persuding' for me to spill all!

only kidding - I love to share - i'll post the full details later today (have to go to work soon)

 

[HotXBunz]

Is that a promise, you ask? Where do you think I get my handle? I know how to make bunz plenty hot! LOL

As I wait for you I will stare in my toy box and try to decide what instrument of pleasere would best serve my purpose of "persuding" you to tell all. I have a delightful, black leather, happy slappy little number that may work. mmmmm

 

[cellis]

Cellis, thanks for sharing about the eggs. What did you mean when you said you take your toys apart?

Oh you know those toy "mistakes"? Have you ever bought something because it looked fun or interesting only to get it and find that it was uncomfortable or did not perform as promised?

I admit it, not only am I impulsiive, but gullible, too. So I have made several of those mistakes... especially of the female strap-on types... but interestingly they all seem to have some kind of egg or buzzer in them that can be salvaged and used for other purposes if one is inventive...

Like the eggs rescued and attached to nipple clamps...

 

[petrel]

Oh you know those toy "mistakes"? Have you ever bought something because it looked fun or interesting only to get it and find that it was uncomfortable or did not perform as promised?

I admit it, not only am I impulsiive, but gullible, too. So I have made several of those mistakes... especially of the female strap-on types... but interestingly they all seem to have some kind of egg or buzzer in them that can be salvaged and used for other purposes if one is inventive...

Like the eggs rescued and attached to nipple clamps...

Cellis you are wonderfully inventive! I must remember to look twice at 'broken' toys before throwing them out; to see what can be salvaged

 

[petrel]

Okay here we are with the promised details!!!

It was great - we talked alot previuosly during the week not just the discussion of things we liked/disliked etc in general but real stuff about how this could be palyed, what limits etc we wanted to set.
then I wnet away (back to my house) to get ready. I recieved two phone calls with instructions to carry out - ie give yourself an enema, wear these clothes arrive at this time - this was very arousing - and extended the anitcipation buzz nicely.

First thing that happened was a little bit of public display - nipple clamps under a sheer top at a bar and having to get drinks, exactly right. The public play was something I had vaguly mooted as an idea but still unexpected - a great buzz this one. Would have been even better in a slightly less mainstream place so we could have pushed things a little further

Lots of different sensations which gradually broke down my embaraasment and restraint barriers - i am quite proud and self contained and I hate to feel out of control normally but there is something amazing in the sensation of being 'out of control - crying, screaming whimpering' and it is still safe and still okay to do that - in fact it is expected and wanted.

An amazing flogging to - pushed my boundries quite a bit on that one - actually couldn't keep still during it which added to the helpless feeling.

I only had to use my amber code once - when my feet (I had hurt my foot earlier last week) began to hurt very badly in the high heels.

We ended up in the shower - mainly to clean up after watersports and vaseline got involved, my legs had given way by then and we pulled out of 'headspace' very slowly - I still felt fairly wierd the next day until I could get back into my work jeans and boots!!!

What would I change - not using the Tawse - its the wrong shape for my arse and kept catching the tops of my thighs which was painful (and not in a good way); more/longer periods of 'serving' - I find being on my knees in front of someone highly erotic - especially if I am naked and they are clothed; including carrying out everyday tasks - pouring wine, serving a meal as part of the play.

Feel that I need time to recover and get my head back together - we 'played on saturday which was good becasue it gave me sunday to get myself back again. I don't think I will reach a point where I coudl play that heavily and then go into work - maybe becasue I do not define myself as a sub and certainly not 24/7. I have a strong dominant streak which at present coems out more at work than in my private relationships but I do need to express this part of me. I am not sure how I could cope with being in 'subspace' and at work trying to discuss budgets, SWAT analysis, and strategic partnerships!!!

Thank you all for being around when I have needed support, sympathy and a safe place to explore - I feel very safe here - When I first joined Lit (back in the days before the mother thread) I was pretty wary about posting personal info and feelings - I prefered to remain at a distance while I figured out who to trust. Everyone on this board however I feel safe with - Thanks

 

[petrel]

*bump*